workslink Posted July 15, 2019 Share Posted July 15, 2019 (edited) Hey there, I'm new to this forums so let's get started: When I was at discord group (I'm not going to show it to you for safety reasons and who's she), she explains to us that she wants to find people who were the most trusted in real life and knowledge of anyone's existence. So that how got into the act and she accepts it which comes as no problems. Things went fine as usual until at Spring of 2019 when I asked her if I would meet with her in person which she thought it was a joke until she realized that I'm much of a nice guy who was being impatient that made me upset as I bank on outrage and alarmism publicly once. When I talked to one of the moderators about why am I kind to her, he told me that I'm too nice because of that, and I reject that idea because girls downright ignore me altogether because she doesn't trust me and know me. Even when one of his brothers follows the pursuit. I kept bringing that subject months later as I tried to let it go but failed miserably. And I got banned from the server afterward as I start to feel hatred towards almost everyone. So basically I'm being ignorant, irresponsible, and selfish who cannot get dates. If anyone would like to help me out on going over specific stuff of helping me to find a girl, that's fine by me. I also have a history of my mental health, getting bullied in school, and kept getting into accidents a lot. Edited July 15, 2019 by workslink Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Stop looking for companionship on line. Go out into the real world & meet people who share your interests. Whatever the subject of this discord group, there is probably one that meets IRL near you. Attend that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Looking for love online is like looking for a nice meal in a rubbish bin. It is possible but highly unlikely. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted July 16, 2019 Author Share Posted July 16, 2019 Stop looking for companionship on line. Go out into the real world & meet people who share your interests. Whatever the subject of this discord group, there is probably one that meets IRL near you. Attend that. Are you sure about this? If that’s the case for the sake of the argument, I’ll might do that. I may have social anxiety, but I’ll see what I can do. By the way, I’m still friends with her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Are you sure about this? If that’s the case for the sake of the argument, I’ll might do that. I may have social anxiety, but I’ll see what I can do. By the way, I’m still friends with her. I can't guarantee it because I don't know what your on line group is about but I do know there are in person groups for just about everything. I suppose if you live in a isolated place finding a group will be tougher but my basic premise stands: find love in real life among liked minded people 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 I suppose if you live in a isolated place finding a group will be tougher... Yeah, exactly! I just want to find a place to socialize and vent about what my problems are. A girl was sympathetic about it while his brother is not. Initially, I was going to unfriend her as him, and I as a suggestion to stay away from her life, but I chose to reject it because it would make my situation worse in the long run after he didn't trust me around her while I do the same by ignoring him entirely. Especially as I said before, I'm trying to find a girl who was the most trusted and knowledge of my existence. Make no mistake, I was working to be respectful to others and not getting real as he brought me here to talk about it. Sorry for the delay. I just need to think about it for a while. Link to post Share on other sites
mr_ybor Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 Looking for love online is like looking for a nice meal in a rubbish bin. It is possible but highly unlikely. What's a "rubbish bin"? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 I just want to find a place to socialize and vent about what my problems are. . Those have to be 2 different places. If you want a place to vent find one. They are out there. If you want a place to socialize make that a different place. In the social forum you need to be upbeat & confident to attract a mate. Nobody wants to date a downer person. One you have an established relationship yes you can talk to your partner when you are upset but you can't treat your SO like an amateur shrink. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 21, 2019 Share Posted July 21, 2019 What's a "rubbish bin"? It's an English phrase for garbage can. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted July 22, 2019 Author Share Posted July 22, 2019 (edited) If you want a place to socialize make that a different place. In the social forum you need to be upbeat & confident to attract a mate. Nobody wants to date a downer person. I understand a discord server can make channels as I said before, socialize stuff on any subjects includes venting as you said. Nobody does. You're right, as a kid, I inspire based on how to become attractive and stuff like what they did in the media such as fashion, makeup, etc. One you have an established relationship yes you can talk to your partner when you are upset but you can't treat your SO like an amateur shrink. What do you mean by amateur shrink? Edited July 22, 2019 by workslink Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 I also have a history of my mental health... are you bipolar or schizophrenic? on the autism spectrum? Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 23, 2019 Share Posted July 23, 2019 while it is true that opposites attract, for inexperienced people at the dating game- they have a much better chance with like minded people- like with like, you will have a decent chance with a girl who has similar mental health problems- bullied at school and so on, a problem shared is a problem halved, look for these type of ladies on the chat rooms, is there any real life support groups out there also, education upskill classes for early school leavers and so on, meeting like minded people who have experienced similar hardships- then bond with them , In fairness you have made a start, keep trying, you will be rejected along the way but do not let that get you down, then after a while you will meet the right person/people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted July 24, 2019 Author Share Posted July 24, 2019 are you bipolar or schizophrenic? on the autism spectrum? I would prefer not to reveal my condition yet. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 What do you mean by amateur shrink? If I am upset I will tell my husband I am depressed or anxious but I rarely go into detail to him or my friends. For the deep analysis I talk to my therapist. I do not expect my husband or my friends to be able to give me the same insights I get from a medical professional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted April 10, 2020 Author Share Posted April 10, 2020 Hello there people, On July 15, 2019, I did explain my bad situation on meeting online with a girl I know her at YT (Should've been clear, my apology). Still, when meeting in person as she told me before, she didn't know me for some reason as I was feeling shocked and appalled that happens in Spring of 2019 as one of the moderators who happened to be his half-brother (That's the part I should've elaborate it further) made allegations of me of being way too nice which resulting of being mad. Even a few months later, the same thing I brought it up but made it worse as he told me to get off of her high horse but refused to do so, and then I got banned from his server afterward as I start to feel hatred towards almost everyone. So basically, according to him, I'm being ignorant, irresponsible, and selfish, who cannot get dates. Little did he know, I was hardly hellbent on that when I talk to the girl when I was in High school IRL but didn't do it properly, so that's when I use the internet, thinking this is a good idea. So here I am at Summer of 2019, I got banned from a discord YTer Fanclub that I felt rejected by a girl that she never knew me because of her social anxiety according to him on dating someone and I also felt like that he implies that she couldn't grow up that she couldn't see through the same lens as anyone else anymore. Remember, I said it before that I have a history of my mental health, getting bullied in school, and kept getting into accidents a lot? Well in addition to that, I actually have two near-death experiences, that is one at the time of my birth where I tried to be born by my mother, but I almost died from asphyxiation for waiting a lot longer when they're at the hospital for next patient to be done and years later, after my surgery to get my nose through my lungs and not my stomach through my mouth as I vomit blood. Basically, blood loss. Let's get to the point on these posts that I happened to read those and decidedly think about it. Most of them are helpful, to begin with, that's great. Thanks. However, I'll go over a few posts to ask a few questions in regards to that. Foxhall said that "you will be rejected along the way but do not let that get you down, then after a while you will meet the right person/people." Here's my response, thanks for that. I really appreciate it. But what really makes me wonder is, what makes you think that I will be rejected? That implies for me that one three strikes and it's game over. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 @workslink what is YT and what is a YTer Fanclub? Also could you explain what you are talking about? Since what you have written reads like you started mid way through a conversation, which makes it difficult to understand what you are on about. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 10, 2020 Share Posted April 10, 2020 30 minutes ago, workslink said: Foxhall said that "you will be rejected along the way but do not let that get you down, then after a while you will meet the right person/people." Here's my response, thanks for that. I really appreciate it. But what really makes me wonder is, what makes you think that I will be rejected? That implies for me that one three strikes and it's game over. People think you will be rejected because pretty much everyone gets rejected at one time or another. It's unusual to NOT be rejected. The trick is to pick ourselves up, learn from what went wrong and try again with someone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted April 10, 2020 Author Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, 5x5 said: @workslink what is YT and what is a YTer Fanclub? Also could you explain what you are talking about? Since what you have written reads like you started mid way through a conversation, which makes it difficult to understand what you are on about. Thanks. YT shorten for YouTube. Plus, I could explain further with you but I decided not to say it more specifically such as who is, for their own protection such as having an unfounded fear of being digital stalked by others. By YTer fanclub, is basically who were being fans of the content creators. Edited April 10, 2020 by workslink Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted April 10, 2020 Author Share Posted April 10, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, 5x5 said: Since what you have written reads like you started mid way through a conversation, which makes it difficult to understand what you are on about. @5x5 Let me tell you what am I on about if you really want to know, I'm talking about how have I been through struggling to get a girlfriend since middle school but I get stuck because I honestly have no clue how to have a romantic relationship the right way. Not to mention that my goals often gets crushed against reality. Edited April 10, 2020 by workslink Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted April 14, 2020 Author Share Posted April 14, 2020 On 4/9/2020 at 9:31 PM, basil67 said: It's unusual to NOT be rejected. The trick is to pick ourselves up, learn from what went wrong and try again with someone else. Well, I was thinking the other way around because I thought to myself as a kid, you have to be perfect, 110%. Otherwise, you're hopeless. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 And as a skinny, flat chested 10yo I used to wonder how a boy could ever be attracted to me. Kids really don't know much! So let your childhood ideas go and have a look at all of those less than perfect people in relationships. And have a look at how most (excluding those rare people who married their high school love) have been rejected and had more than one relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 43 minutes ago, basil67 said: And as a skinny, flat chested 10yo I used to wonder how a boy could ever be attracted to me. Um, you're supposed to be flat chested at 10 Basil. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 14, 2020 Share Posted April 14, 2020 Well yes. But I used to look at the curvy teenagers and 20 somethings and be unable to imagine myself like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author workslink Posted April 14, 2020 Author Share Posted April 14, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: So let your childhood ideas go and have a look at all of those less than perfect people in relationships. And have a look at how most (excluding those rare people who married their high school love) have been rejected and had more than one relationship. I understand but what I'm saying here is, I have conflicts during my childhood for those of people who think I'm being way too nice. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 I don't understand. Can you explain further? Link to post Share on other sites
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