ScaryPanda Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 If that happens to be the case, what can you even do? If their facial hair turns you off, does that mean it's not genuine love from your part? My ex for example, a VERY handsome 21 year old guy when we met. Then, on and off, he would get this crazy 'tache and an awkward beard that he wouldn't even take care of as he didn't know how to. Half of the time I was kissing his mustache instead of him. Of course people should do whatever they want with their looks but when you're partnered up with a man whose beardy beards and 'tache turn you off completely, what should one do? I remember gently telling him that I liked him more shaved but that fell on deaf ears as he thinks he looks bomb. Which is fine. But..? Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 When you kiss him do you get little free samples of what he had for lunch? Gross. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScaryPanda Posted July 16, 2019 Author Share Posted July 16, 2019 When you kiss him do you get little free samples of what he had for lunch? Gross. Pretty mean and uncalled for to call someone gross because of facial hair. I think I made comments like that in primary school-ish..? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 (edited) But ....what? If they know your preference but still choose to do their own thing, you have two choices: accept it or leave. (Personally I've never had an issue with facial hair) My hair is cropped short but I know hubby prefers long. Long hair drives me nuts and so I wear my hair how I like it and he loves me anyway. I'd prefer if hubby wore more collared shirts instead of Tshirts. But he likes Tshirts and I love him anyway. Edited July 16, 2019 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 If their facial hair turns you off, does that mean it's not genuine love from your part? Yes. That’s what it means. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 If he isn't taking care of his beard, it's not really a facial hair preference anymore, it's basic hygiene IMO. I wouldn't try and tell a guy what he should do with his facial hair, but you better believe I'd say something if he wasn't keeping it clean. Either you clean it thoroughly or you shave it - that applies to any hair on any part of anyone's body regardless of gender. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 God, I hate it too, especially beards. Yuck. Give me a guy with hair to his waist, and I'm good. Beards, I don't even look at the guy. My old flame grew a beard in his old age. He had the best face I've ever seen and he covered it up with a beard so he could be liked for something besides a pretty face. Sigh. I just closed my eyes and remembered him as he used to be because the beard is gross. I told him I'd shave it off some night when he was sleeping. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 If he isn't taking care of his beard, it's not really a facial hair preference anymore, it's basic hygiene IMO. I interpreted 'taking care of the beard' to be related to trimming. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 (edited) Just because you aren’t wild about a particular grooming style your SO has adopted I don’t think it means that you don’t love them!! If a woman used to shave head to toe, kept her hair long and in a nice style - decided to buzz her head and grow her body hair long - if her SO wasn’t as physically attracted - does that mean that he doesn’t love her? What if either partner gained 100 pounds, if sexual attraction was diminished by that, does that mean that they do not love each other? I don’t think so. My husband has a beard. Before him, I always preferred clean shaven men - but I love HIM so I was able to look past the beard. But honestly he went through this “mountain man” phase where he grew his beard way out - and I HATED IT. It got in the way of kissing him. It grossed me out during sex (umm my fluids would get all over it, and then he would try to kiss me with cold bodily fluids all over his facial hair - which let’s be frank - it’s public hair). The thing would hold smells - like from his lunch (seriously YUCK!). I would gently push and prod him to trim it up - while trying to hide the ways it disgusted me. Eventually he saw the light and now keeps it shorter cut and groomed. Unkept, not properly trimmed and groomed facial hair is pretty gross in my opinion. Just like many men do not like the idea of women who have untamed pubic hair, hairy armpits etc. Edited July 16, 2019 by RecentChange Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 while he's sleeping chloroform him and shave off all his facial hair Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Tell him you'll shave, if he does... that would be incentive enough for me to get rid of some facial hair. Personally, I'm clean shaven just because its easier and more hygienic. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 My dad grew a bushy beard after sometime and my late mom hated it, but she loved him. It just depends on the person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 Personally, I'm clean shaven just because its easier and more hygienic. AND you are more handsome cleanshaven HL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 16, 2019 Share Posted July 16, 2019 AND you are more handsome cleanshaven HL Thanks, alphamale!! Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 For me the problem is beard burn... I have sensitive skin! But it's his face, his choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 I was never "into" facial hair or long hair on men until my fiancé grew his out. I don't think he's so much as trimmed in a couple years. It's all totally untamed and I love it. I was surprised by that. I'd be a little bit sad if he shaved/cut short. But I wouldn't presume to tell him how to keep his hair, as long as it's clean. On the other hand, my dad ALWAYS had longish hair and a beard my entire life - since before I was born. And HE recently cut his hair short and shaved! I was shocked. SHOCKED. It doesn't look BAD, but I hardly recognize him! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Dated two guys with beards (separately), I like beards and both decided on their own to shave it off. I was supportive and nice about it, but I was not impressed. They seemed so happy at the result, so I didn't burst their bubble. BUT Both looked so much better with beards, and my attraction did fade... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 ... and my attraction did fade... that's a shame elaine 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 As Elswyth mentioned, when it reaches a point where they don't know how to groom themselves it becomes an issue of hygiene, not preference. But even preferences are perfectly acceptable. You just have to be respectful about it. When we were dating, my husband briefly experimented with growing his hair out. I told him honestly I didn't find it flattering and struggled to feel as attracted to him that way, but I supported and cared for him no matter what. He eventually cut it off, with a brief pause to rock a Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg haircut for all of 5 minutes before cutting off the rest. We don't have that many pictures from back then but he's mortified every single time and is furious that "you let me have my hair like that in the first place". I guess I was too supportive? Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 17, 2019 Share Posted July 17, 2019 Again, to each their own, but I have a beard that's about a quarter of a inch thick, and that's just the way I like it. Hygiene as far as it goes for me, isn't a problem, and it hasn't ever been. It's beyond well groomed. It's shampooed, trimmed (weekly) and brushed. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 You get used to it after a while. When my husband and I were together years ago, he was clean-shaven. Came back from marrying someone else and he had facial hair. Not like a wild mountain man, but it was different. Now I'm used to it. We're both older, and we've both let some hair grow. What I still have trouble getting used to is when little kids in public call out stuff like "Mom - look! It's Iron Man!" My husband looks quite a bit like Robert Downy Jr / Tony Stark. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 18, 2019 Share Posted July 18, 2019 What I still have trouble getting used to is when little kids in public call out stuff like "Mom - look! It's Iron Man!" My husband looks quite a bit like Robert Downy Jr / Tony Stark. thank god he doesn't resemble peppa pig or baby shark Link to post Share on other sites
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