seany25 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Hi guys, A new girl started in our office, she's going to be on my team. She's sooo hot! And the point of this thread is how I'm going to deal with how much I fancy her. She's the sister of one of the managers, and I was already gunna be cautious due to that, but at the same time we're adults, so ultimately I don't care what he or anyone else thinks (although he's a nice guy and I like him). Long story short, she started training about 3 weeks ago, and in that time we've become to know each other, been for coffee and lunch together a couple of times. The problem is I've rapidly developed the hugest crush on her, and as a result I'm now not being my 100% usual self around her. I feel nervous and anxious like I have to keep talking to her and saying cool things to impress her more than the other lads in the office that are trying to impress her. Another factor is some of the other guys in the office act like clowns to get laughs and although I'm very funny without having to actively behave like a class clown, I refuse to "compete" with these other clowns, 1 or 2 of whom are supposed to be my friends. I'm a big boy and I'll suck it up and deal with it, but I was just hoping I could get some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Well, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but dating in the office is usually a bad idea. Dating one of the manager's sisters is a disastrous idea. Do you not have sisters? If she is this hot, she is probably sooooo tired of being chased and not taken seriously at the office. Link to post Share on other sites
JEG88 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Are you okay losing your job if things don't go well? Because that's what will inevitably happen here if you give it a shot with her and it doesn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 you will lose your job if you continue like this. make sure you have six months worth of living expenses saved up in the bank Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Well, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but dating in the office is usually a bad idea. Dating one of the manager's sisters is a disastrous idea. In addition to these two valid points, what happens if you have to work together after a relationship goes bad? I've been there, no fun spending time with someone literally wishing you were dead and looking at you like she's willing to make that happen. She'll respect you more if you aren't part of the pack, and who knows what might happen after the job association ends. Lay very low... Mr. lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 Haha ok guys I completely take on board every point made. The thing is though, I am working on a plan to be out of there by the turn of next year. I've started my own business and I'm currently trying to build it so I can resign and work for myself. So of course, I'm thinking ahead and at the fact I'll (hopefully) not be there for much longer. Also, she may not be there too long herself as she's got another part-time job and may be going for that full-time soon, as she's confided in me about the interview in a couple of weeks time. Perhaps I'll just roll with it and try not to be too awkward. Yet at the same time I'm worried of some other office guy snapping her up. In the meantime I'm dating other girls, so it's not like I'm deprived or anything. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 She is more than likely slightly amused by you guys behavior around her but if she is as hot as you say she's used to this from men. Also if she's as hot as you say you can be sure she's got a man somewhere that she's probably in love with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 Dating one of the manager's sisters is a disastrous idea. Do you not have sisters? If she is this hot, she is probably sooooo tired of being chased and not taken seriously at the office. Ideally it would be when I leave or on the basis of me knowing I'm leaving. And yes I do have sisters who all have their own minds. She's only out of a 5 year relationship and this is her first job of this kind. Are you okay losing your job if things don't go well? Because that's what will inevitably happen here if you give it a shot with her and it doesn't work out. Her brother is not my manager nor does he have the power to fire me. Plus, even if he did, and theoretically a relationship did happen and went bad and I did get fired because of it, there would be grounds for unfair dismissal. you will lose your job if you continue like this. make sure you have six months worth of living expenses saved up in the bank If anything happened and it went wrong and I got fired there wold be a legal case to answer. In addition to these two valid points, what happens if you have to work together after a relationship goes bad? I've been there, no fun spending time with someone literally wishing you were dead and looking at you like she's willing to make that happen. She'll respect you more if you aren't part of the pack, and who knows what might happen after the job association ends. Lay very low... I imagine it would be incredibly awkward and difficult haha!. I mean, I'm feeling it now with only a crush, so it would be horrible to think of a relationship going belly up and having to work together. She is more than likely slightly amused by you guys behavior around her but if she is as hot as you say she's used to this from men. Also if she's as hot as you say you can be sure she's got a man somewhere that she's probably in love with. She's only out of a 5 year relationship. So probably being hit on constantly in her messages etc now that she's technically on the market. I don't even know if she's interested or just really nice. I mean, I'd definitely be open to pursuing something with her if is was interested but it's dodgy territory right now with the whole work situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Cool, calm and confident if you're gonna go this route. However, if she's out of a 5 yr relationship you'll probably just be a rebound which never turns out well. Since it's also work related it might be best to try a wait and see approach. The clown act never gets anyone much. Level, mature and independence are more attractive traits. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 It's going to cause all sorts of tension in the office even just with the other guys who are also wanting to pursue her. This stuff turns ugly. Just saying. And nothing worse than having to work with someone who you asked out and they said no except someone who you asked out and said yes and then slept with and they break up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tagalz Posted July 20, 2019 Share Posted July 20, 2019 Hi guys, A new girl started in our office, she's going to be on my team. She's sooo hot! And the point of this thread is how I'm going to deal with how much I fancy her. She's the sister of one of the managers, and I was already gunna be cautious due to that, but at the same time we're adults, so ultimately I don't care what he or anyone else thinks (although he's a nice guy and I like him). Long story short, she started training about 3 weeks ago, and in that time we've become to know each other, been for coffee and lunch together a couple of times. The problem is I've rapidly developed the hugest crush on her, and as a result I'm now not being my 100% usual self around her. I feel nervous and anxious like I have to keep talking to her and saying cool things to impress her more than the other lads in the office that are trying to impress her. Another factor is some of the other guys in the office act like clowns to get laughs and although I'm very funny without having to actively behave like a class clown, I refuse to "compete" with these other clowns, 1 or 2 of whom are supposed to be my friends. I'm a big boy and I'll suck it up and deal with it, but I was just hoping I could get some advice. Try to keep it minimal, meaning if both of you are at work... talk about work related stuff and no more. If you could do that then you would feel much better because you're only talking because of work, so it's kind of a distance between you two. If you absolutely want to have a chat with her drinking coffee then you could do that in your break time. Other than that just keep a distance when you're at work and try to socialise with other co-worker I hope it helps and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 Cool, calm and confident if you're gonna go this route. Yea I like that idea. However, if she's out of a 5 yr relationship you'll probably just be a rebound which never turns out well. I'm not even entirely sure if she's even mildly interested. I've just developed a crush on her at a rapid rate. Since it's also work related it might be best to try a wait and see approach. Yea I've sort of came to this conclusion myself too. Either she'll be in my team anyway so there'll be plenty of time to see what happens. Or she'll go to the other job instead. I'll just wait. The clown act never gets anyone much. Level, mature and independence are more attractive traits. I hate the clown act and it's just not something I'm prepared to "compete" with in order to get airtime. I don't lower myself for nobody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 It's going to cause all sorts of tension in the office even just with the other guys who are also wanting to pursue her. This stuff turns ugly. Just saying. And nothing worse than having to work with someone who you asked out and they said no except someone who you asked out and said yes and then slept with and they break up with you. To be honest some of the guys who are acting clowns etc are already in relationships and so would only be doing the clown act as a distraction. As for the turning ugly stuff, I agree it could potentially get ugly whether something was fully pursued and worked out or not. Gunna play it cool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 21, 2019 Author Share Posted July 21, 2019 Try to keep it minimal, meaning if both of you are at work... talk about work related stuff and no more. If you could do that then you would feel much better because you're only talking because of work, so it's kind of a distance between you two. Well this is almost an impossibility as she sits almost beside me and we talk and laugh about other things too, but that's not a problem. If you absolutely want to have a chat with her drinking coffee then you could do that in your break time. Other than that just keep a distance when you're at work and try to socialise with other co-worker I hope it helps and good luck! Again, can't keep much distance when she's literally beside me haha.. But it should be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author seany25 Posted July 24, 2019 Author Share Posted July 24, 2019 (edited) Circumstances have changed, and things are feeling better than they were before. A few developments and points to note... I'm now partnered up with her. As I'm off for 3 weeks from next week I promised her I'd spend the rest of the week helping her whilst she eases into the new job. So, I'm literally sat beside her all day long coaching her and being her fall-back as she talks to customers on the phone. Oh yeah, about the 3 weeks I'm taking off, she really doesn't like this and would much prefer it if I stayed. It does pain me to leave at this time, but it's a project I just can't afford to miss out on as it's worth 5k. She has joked that she's going to get her manager brother to make me stay. She just really wants and needs me there, and I really wish I was able to, but the timing was just wrong. We have been having touchy feely light hearted inside jokes etc, stuff that makes me want her more. Aside from this, things are mostly cool now and my anxiety is evaporating. Except for small things like I get a jealous feeling when any other guys flirt with her, particularly one who is my friend, he's basically a rival in this instance as all 3 of us are single. She also brought me in a gift today. A really good set of headphones her family brought her back from holiday last week. I told her I needed a new set and she gave me them. So generous of her. I'm just going to do my best to train her as best I can over the next 2 days so that she's more confident in the job, because as I'm leaving for 3 weeks I do feel bad for her because she want's me to be there more than anyone else. I do think the 3 days coaching her will build somewhat of a bond, but then it's being severed by my 3 weeks off. I'm also worried the 3 weeks will change things in a negative way. But hopefully not. I'll be keeping in touch with her during the 3 weeks though. Edited July 24, 2019 by seany25 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 24, 2019 Share Posted July 24, 2019 Shes certainly motivating you for the job anyway and giving you a little extra bounce, hmmn workplace flirting and so on to be used as a motivating tool. you seem to be gelling quite well so keep it going! Link to post Share on other sites
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