Need emotional help motivation

[Guest]

My husband and I can't find any motivation anymore. It's like our spirits have been broken. We try to put in an effort to get healthy but we don't 'feel' it inside. There is no real will to do anything.

 

We are both very heavy, well, obese I guess. He is diabetic and I might be too I haven't been tested. We are having health problems and just can not make ourselves do anything. We try for a while but then go back to our old depressed ways.

 

We don't have health insurance or the money to see anyone ourselves and we don't qualify for assistance. We make just enough money to pay the bills each month, but not enough to save or get ahead.

 

We are both so tired and so out of shape.

 

How can we get motivated! It's easy to say Just Do It, but it's totally different to actually do anything. Its so hard!

 

We can't even walk across the room without getting winded. I'm afraid to do too much or one or both of us will have a heart attack. We've tried to just sit and move our arms and upper bodies some to stretch and get some circulation going but we both feel stupid and embarassed to exercise around each other.

 

We talk about it a lot, but just can't make ourselves do anything. We need help to really honestly motivate each other. We've talked about the health risks and about how we don't want to lose each other and it scares us both to tears.

 

We tried to watch the TV show about fat people losing weight hoping that would motivate us. The first show we watched and drank water. The second time we watched we were eating fried potatos!

 

That's another thing - we don't have a lot of money and we eat so much bad food because it's cheaper. I have hypoglycemia which means that if I don't eat enough or regularly, I get dizzy and feel sick and he gets the same way too so maybe he is also hypoglycemic. A bowl of cereal and some toast leaves us feeling hungry 30 minutes later so we eat more. We just can't break the cycle.

 

We've tried to get health-care help through the indigent services in our area, but we are not indigent enough! Now he is having toothaches and has broken part of his tooth and we can't afford a dentist. His teeth are real bad because of his diabetes and it costs more to treat him than regular dental stuff because they have to use different drugs and stuff because of his health.

 

We both have high blood pressure and still we can't change.

 

I'll try to get back online later to see if there may be any other suggestions for us, right now someone else wants the computer and my free time is up.

 

Thank you.

[PYT]

Go to your library and read some books on cbt. It's the way you are thinking about things that is zapping all your motivation away. If you learn how to catch your thinking errors and counter them you will find your motivation coming back fast.

[Outcast]

The first thing you can do is change the way you eat. You don't have to eat badly just because you're poor. In fact, if you cut out meat, you could afford more vegies than you could possibly eat. It may sound like a nightmare to you, but you can get used to anything after a while, including not eating meat. Instead, you can eat beans and peanut butter and other proteins.

 

Secondly, do not fry any foods. There's no need. If you have a microwave, you can cook any vegetable, including potatoes, very quickly. If you don't, steam or boil them. If you have a deep fryer, take it to a consignment store and get money for it. Never, ever eat deep fried anything. When you shop, buy mainly fruits and vegies and good complex carbs like whole-grain breads.

 

Want nice taste? Try some Mrs. Dash spices or learn which other spices you enjoy and experiment with them. You don't have to buy them in those expensive little bottles - look for a store that sells bulk spices, which are much cheaper.

 

Do not drink pop. Have fresh water with a squeeze of lemon or lime instead. Again, it will take a bit of getting used to but once you're used to it, you'll not even want pop. Don't buy cookies and cakes which are also very expensive. Buy fruit and nuke or bake it with a bit of sugar or honey and some nuts or quick cooking oatmeal on top.

 

As for exercise, do what you can. Set an alarm and every hour get up and cross the room. When that doesn't wind you any more, cross it twice or go to two other rooms. Or instead of setting an alarm, do it every time an ad comes on the tube. Keep a couple of cans of soup or stew on your coffee table and every time there's an ad, pick them up and do simple lifts with them.

 

When walking around your house no longer leaves you winded (you'll actually be surprised how fast exercise works), then plan to go for a walk every day. Maybe it's just a half block the first few times but do it. Once you start to see and feel the progress, that will become your motivation.

 

The most important element of motivation is that you must WANT something badly. You need to convince yourself to WANT to feel good.

 

As someone else pointed out, the library is a good source of information. They'll have books on cooking light, healthy meals that don't cost a fortune. Or you can even search the Internet for low-cal healthy recipes. Same with exercises. There are also online dieters' groups that you can join to help motivate you.

 

You can do this!

[westernxer]

First thing you need to do is throw out your TV, that way you won't sit around all day thinking about food.

[slubberdegullion]

From a two-pack a day overweight sloth to marathon and triathlon contender, John Stanton embodies the type of character and turnaround that you're looking for. You can read more about him here: http://www.runningroom.com/content/?id=352

 

Point is, if he can do it, then you can do it too.

 

BTW... I have no connection to The Running Room

[lindya]

As Outcast says, healthy eating needn't be overly expensive. Obviously you have the added difficulty of your husband's diabetes. Perhaps it would be an idea to start a thread asking people for low cost, healthy recipes that are suitable for diabetics.

 

I think that getting started will be your main difficulty. Once you get into any new regime and start seeing results, that becomes a motivating force. Of course it's easy for other people to say "Just do it". Clearly at the moment, you and your husband are trying to get yourselves towards that stage where you can "just do it"...but right now you're needing some support to get you there.

 

I really think that a weight-watching group could help you out. It will mean paying out a few dollars each week to be a member, but you might find that by following the programme and recipes they give you you'll actually end up saving money. The people who lead those groups will be well-versed in the pitfalls of trying to lose weight (including the time and financial constraints that make people find it difficult to follow a healthy eating plan). Hopefully, they will also take a really positive approach that will help you to focus on realistic weekly weight loss goals.

 

Once you start losing weight, you'll maybe find that you can walk to certain places instead of always relying on public transport. That stage might seem a long way off right now, but with a bit of help and support I bet you can get there. Good luck, and keep posting

[Chimerical]

That was the best thing I EVER did my entire life. I didn't actually throw it out, but I don't have reception, or cable, so can't watch it.

 

Honestly, I dropped nearly 50 pounds since I stopped planting my butt in front of the tube. When I watch TV (at family's house) I get these incredible need to eat... And when I had the TV on all the time, I wouldnt' think twice about sitting down and eating a whole bag of dorritoes and a 2 liter of pop.

 

It something about the ad's. Constant food. You're bored, but you're watching tv, so what do you do but eat... they keep showing delicious sounding food.

 

Plus it'll drive you batty to just sit and do nothing without a tv. Forces you to do something, anything, after a while.

 

It's incredibly difficult in your situation. I know a little of how hard it is to lose weight and how powerless you feel about it. Always hungry, always thinking about it, (seems like) and the extra weight makes you more tired then you normally would be, so you feel too tired to do anything all the time. You're body hurts, your joints, everything, because of the weight... It's a bad situation.

 

Don't give up though.

[PYT]

Throwing out the TV certainly can't hurt!

[Outcast]

I'm always doing something else when I watch TV. At minimum, I read the paper during the commercials. Surveyers call me up to ask about ads I've seen and I can't answer because I don't remember seeing them.

 

You could also exercise during the ads!

[bunnzy]

Sounds also like your metabolisms are all over the place. If you make breakfast the largest meal of the day, and not eat after 7pm and only drink water, that will make a massive difference.

 

You should think about getting a pet dog. Toy Poodles are good if you are allergic and they arent too big. It will motivate you to play and walk and it does wonders for your mental health to have a loyal companion.

 

Get rid of the TV and the Deepfryer. Turn Vegan. People eat way too much meat and dairy and its bad for you. Eat heaps of FRESH fruit and Vegies. Rice, Pasta, Bread should be the bulk of your meals. Cut out sugary cereals, go for cornflakes, wheaties, puffed rice and 2% fat milk. Have Wholegrain or Linseed toast, with real butter instead of margerine use cinnamon as a topping. YUM. Get small tupperware containers full of dried fruits, nuts, seeds and healthy snacks to eat when you are feeling faint. They are great energy foods.

 

What do you like to do? Get involved with other people. Go to church or any community event. I guarentee you will be more motivated if you get rid of the TV.

 

I mean, you burn more calories when you are asleep than when you watch TV.