SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Do you think it is fair to find someone warm for the winter just for the companionship? The thing is I do this often. I am Canadian and I haven't found the one I would like to spend a few years with. So I usually have seasonal relationships if that makes sence? Winter is coming here now and it is about the dating time that people usually start heavily dating and spending time with there "crushs" that they didnt have time for during the summer months. Is it ok to basically be with someone for a soul perpose of making sure you don't end up lonely during the winter. SilentPrayer-In Canada:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Apex Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Canada has very cold winters. It is only fair if you let the guy know he is just a placeholder ahead of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Canada has very cold winters. It is only fair if you let the guy know he is just a placeholder ahead of time. Canada is fugin cold during the winter. You mise as well make funeral arrangements for yourself in the fall time for your funeral in the winter if you don't have a partner. I feel very sad for the homeless that we have in canada, because the majority sleep out in the streets in the moth bitter weather. As for the placeholder. I kind of don't tell them. I just let them go....sonner then later. Usually just before spring. Does this make me out as a total a**h***? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I recommend a good electric blanket. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Can an electric blanket snuggle with you. Rub your back? Kiss your neck? Go for coffee with you on cold winter storm days and share thier cookie/muffin? Nope~ Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 While you are with someone for superficial reasons you are off the market.. You are possibly missing finding the guy that would be there thru all the winters and not just one by doing this. You need to learn to love yourself and be happy being alone.. Then you will find your guy Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 I have always made sure the the men I have relationships with knew that If I were to be with them. It would not be a dead serious relationship. The only thing is is taboo in my relationships is physical contact with others besides your current partner. I have a few rules and please quote me on them if you want: 1) It is never that serious of a relationship if there is no marriage or engagement. 2) Neither partner may exchange physical sexual contact with anyone outside the relationship, unless it is previously discused and planned upon. 3) If either partner meets someone they are seriously interested in, the relationship can either end or either partner may court the new "crush" but with no physical sexual contact. 4) That if either partner wants to sleep with another person but is not emotionally ect interested in them. It needs to be discuseed before hand so that both partners are fully aware. 5) If it is an open relationship each and every outside physical contact needs to be brought to attention before planned. I am an open person. So If I ever meet someone I want....and is the ONE. Then I can easily leave whatever partner I am with. So far all these rules have been pretty flexable and worked for the partners I have had. I am never off the market unless I am married...and it a closed relationship lol:love: Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I recommend a winter trip to Florida. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayhawks Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Women are notorious for being single and carefree in the warmer months but come winter time they are looking for someone to be with them. It is a friggin phenomenon. You are normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I am never off the market unless I am married...and it a closed relationship lol:love: Oh yes you are.. You may not know it but they can tell.. Us guys.. When a woman is available she had this thing that she emits in her personality and even physically that tells us that she is available.. If you are with a guy you don't emit it.. so you are telling ALL guys that you are taken.. The rub is that to you it is only for the winter.. And by the way.. I would have trouble being in a serious relationship with someone as "open" as you.. I don't think it is as much open as much as you are a commitment phoebe Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Women are notorious for being single and carefree in the warmer months but come winter time they are looking for someone to be with them. It is a friggin phenomenon. You are normal. I believe that is VERY VERY TRUE!!! I live in Canada and we have some pretty hard winters. It is really hard on men and woman to be alone during these months. Once it gets colder you spend more time with your family, close friends, partners, kids. Reason being is because the cold makes you more protective and give your body the impression it is time to bunck down and hybernate. Like bears...we need someone to hybernate with during the winter. I know it's true...I bunk down for the winter...because its FALL right now...and I need to lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Oh yes you are.. You may not know it but they can tell.. Us guys.. When a woman is available she had this thing that she emits in her personality and even physically that tells us that she is available.. If you are with a guy you don't emit it.. so you are telling ALL guys that you are taken.. The rub is that to you it is only for the winter.. And by the way.. I would have trouble being in a serious relationship with someone as "open" as you.. I don't think it is as much open as much as you are a commitment phoebe Regaurdless of my current relationship status I have more then 4 guys a day trying to get to know me wherever I go. A cafe, restaurant, hot dog stand...whatever. This happens even while I am in a "somewhat" relationship". So saying that I give off some major harsh lazers that tell other men I am taken is wrong. As for being a commitment phoebe. That is not true @ all. A few years ago I dated a guy exclusively for quite a long time. I remained faithfull and so did he. It was great....I just prefere relaxed relationships right now because I am young. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Well then.. I would just suggest that you keep up what is working well for you .. You seem to have a handle on it.. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Oh yes you are.. You may not know it but they can tell.. Us guys.. And by the way.. I would have trouble being in a serious relationship with someone as "open" as you. I have to agree with Art_Critic on this. These are things many guys consider. And you don't want any guy, but basically the knight on a white horse - and the chances are that he is not galopping around the hot dog stand. And chances are extremely high that said knight will have some issues with you leaving a relationship out of the blue for him - as he may consider you taken already, and with that you don't exist as a romantic prospect at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Look, It started off "Do you all think seasonal casual whatever relationships are ok? "Is it ok to find someone mainly for comfort during the winter?". I personally believe that whatever knight finds me however will understand how I do relationships. The parnter I would leave the knight for will be very ok with this because it is a human fact and I pretty much date open people and if they are totally vanilla and straight they usually find some kind of awwww in the relationship no strings or attachements. It lets you be YOU! Anyhow....the hot dog stand was the lowest place that I have ever been hit on..."I was told that my dog looks yummy and to add some mustard to it so he can have a bite"? I wasnt too happy about that...but whatver. That is not the BEST example of where Ive been hit on lol. You just had to pick that out.omg Also I feel that everyone is never tied down to anyone unless it is a marriage and it is a closed marriage. So being that I would have no harsh feelings if a man left me for another. I would need to feel the exact same respect if I left man for another. As for Mr.KNight in whatever....."PLEASE find me.... S.O.S!!...It's getting cold" lol seriously.....Come Rain or Come Shine...I will do just fine:p Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 Well do you think it is ok to be with more then one person @ a time. Them knowing you are not serious with them and they are not serious with you. I have told all people (4) that I am dating @ this time that I am seeing other men as well. They don't mind because I have not been sleeping with eiteher of them. Should I settle down soon and choose one....I feel kind of confused. BTW! It's snowing right now....WOW...It looks so great. Silent* Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 No, I did not choose the hot dog stand on purpose. It seemed the easiest of the three places to move around for a knight on his horse. But you get the idea. I think that most people assume that when you say you are in a relationship, it is a closed relationship. And that it would be disrespectful to try to win you over, as you are in a relationship. In short that some guys who would have been interested in starting a relationship simply did not even try. Even when they have no problem dealing with the "open" relationships you believe in. As they cannot see by simply looking at you, that you believe that - which is probably still a minority view on relationships. And if the guy you would take an interest in, does not believe in similar open relationships, he would be a bit reluctant to start anything with you - and maybe not even understanding that it was not a selfish dumping - or an excuse to cheat on your boyfriend. Not saying that you are wrong at all, but you may be looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack. But - don't settle because that is what you are supposed to do, but what you want to do, in this case with a guy who is right for you. Snow Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 I think I am pretty open with how my relationships work. My friends know, my family knows, everyone I know knows that I do what I do. It is a topic of discussion quite often because it is practically platonic most times. If I am flirting with a guy...and I want him. I will tell him I am in a relationship and I will explain how it works ect. More then likely I will introdice the new CRUSH with the current BF. I have never had a probelem with a relationship not starting with me before. I have had trouble with X's but that is about it. As for the guy who is right for me. He would have to be able to be really flexable and understand with the big fact that even I am the way I am. I was told to write an open relationship book once. Maybe I should? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SilentPrayer Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 I am pretty sure I found the one I want for the winter. He is a Taurus and a very smart guy should I let him in on the fact that I usually don't keep the relationship running that long? I have a feeling he wont like it but I also want to keep him..he's pretty. SOOoooo......anyhow. I kind of feel like my ways might corrupt him but in a sick way I want to do exactly that:cool: So really what I am asking is "Is it ok to bring an innocent party into a relationship like that, not knowing "my" mast, not knowing how i do relationships, and also knowing that I could leave him anytime that I choose to be with someone else...since it is NOT a serious serious relationship"? Im really thinking here...he is so pretty...wonderfull....and really really smart. I want him in so many ways...but I have a visual of us together but only in the winter. WTF? that is all that is in my head..is us...walking..with a cup of coffee...and its winter...I cant imagine him past that??? Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Back in The days when the West was first Opening up many of the Fur Trappers would live for a Winter with one Of the Indian Tribes that they traded with, Often these men would take "wives" for the winter season. It was not uncommon for trappers to have several wives in different tribes. I guess what i am saying you are not doing anything new. It is nice to have someone there on those long cold nights. I don't put moral judgments on people. I do feel that because you are young and I take it very attractive you can get away with a lot that in a few years you will not be able to get a way with. Right now you are setting the rules for your seasonal Love affair. There may come a time when your feeling for someone could grow deeper then you could imagine and he may find his need to be free when the snow melts. Again as the years pass you may find it harder to attract that winter mate. Now if you live in one of Canada's great ski areas i just might put in an application for a Winter snuggle buddy. Maybe we should talk about what my rules would be and see if they match. Link to post Share on other sites
Gold Pile Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I believe that is VERY VERY TRUE!!! I live in Canada and we have some pretty hard winters. It is really hard on men and woman to be alone during these months. Once it gets colder you spend more time with your family, close friends, partners, kids. Like bears...we need someone to hybernate with during the winter. From time to time I hear talk of cold climate people getting so cold and lonely... that some folks get close with ones they shouldn't. Not you of course, but do you hear such tales, or can you dispell them? Link to post Share on other sites
Horse Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Do you think it is fair to find someone warm for the winter just for the companionship? The thing is I do this often. I am Canadian and I haven't found the one I would like to spend a few years with. So I usually have seasonal relationships if that makes sence? Winter is coming here now and it is about the dating time that people usually start heavily dating and spending time with there "crushs" that they didnt have time for during the summer months. Is it ok to basically be with someone for a soul perpose of making sure you don't end up lonely during the winter. SilentPrayer-In Canada:love: I think it's OK if you find someone who is looking for the same thing. I used to do this when I lived in Florida. I didn't purposely set out to only hook up with someone for the winter, but it worked out that way. I lived in a spring break town where, during the spring and summer, girls would come from all over to party and get crazy for two or three weeks. It was a bad place for a 20-21 year old to try to have any kind of serious relationship. In the winter all of the girls would go away, so longer relationships become more attractive. Then it would be spring break and the craziness started all over again. Depending on your age, I don't think it would be too hard to find a guy who wants to spend time with you during the winter, only to be cut loose right when all of the other girls start going wild again. The only hard part is that peoples feelings often change. The guy may say he only wants someone for the winter, but then he falls for you and starts stalking you when you break up with him. The opposite could happen too. You could fall for this guy and he bails on you as soon as the weather gets nice again. It took me a while to learn that lesson. Link to post Share on other sites
erika2610 Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 I am pretty sure I found the one I want for the winter. He is a Taurus and a very smart guy should I let him in on the fact that I usually don't keep the relationship running that long? I have a feeling he wont like it but I also want to keep him..he's pretty. SOOoooo......anyhow. I kind of feel like my ways might corrupt him but in a sick way I want to do exactly that:cool: So really what I am asking is "Is it ok to bring an innocent party into a relationship like that, not knowing "my" mast, not knowing how i do relationships, and also knowing that I could leave him anytime that I choose to be with someone else...since it is NOT a serious serious relationship"? Im really thinking here...he is so pretty...wonderfull....and really really smart. I want him in so many ways...but I have a visual of us together but only in the winter. WTF? that is all that is in my head..is us...walking..with a cup of coffee...and its winter...I cant imagine him past that??? I don't think it's right. You're just leading him on. I think you should tell him up front. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 Hey there, sweetie! Welcome back I understand the need to have someone warm for the winter in Canada... but will one or both of you be heartbroken come January? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 27, 2005 Share Posted September 27, 2005 So really what I am asking is "Is it ok to bring an innocent party into a relationship like that, not knowing "my" mast, not knowing how i do relationships, and also knowing that I could leave him anytime that I choose to be with someone else...since it is NOT a serious serious relationship"? No it's not ok. Geeze. And it's not about 'being moral' It's just being a decent human being. Although I wonder if anybody cares to be decent human beings anymore. He's a human with feelings which may be badly hurt if you do this. I can't believe everyone who's suggesting you go right ahead and play with him and then toss him away as though he's a garage-sale toy rather than a person with a heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts