Finding Someone Warm for the Winter

[RecordProducer]

While you are with someone for superficial reasons you are off the market..

 

You are possibly missing finding the guy that would be there thru all the winters and not just one by doing this.

 

You need to learn to love yourself and be happy being alone.. Then you will find your guy

 

This is very true. You are not really available to go out on dates when you're going out and sleeping with someone. Besides what kind of pleasure is it to have just anyone and not the right guy? A crush can also be the right guy to date, especially at age 20.

 

The only thing that matters is that you don't compromise your needs for the sake of beating winter loneliness. You don't need to spend time with someone who intellectually doesn't please you, only because he kisses your neck. All the people you let in your life should contribute to your development and growth, not just fulfill your time and vagina.

[westernxer]

I can't believe everyone who's suggesting you go right ahead and play with him and then toss him away as though he's a garage-sale toy rather than a person with a heart.

 

Are you saying that you don't want to see him on LoveShack, talking about how some winter maiden broke his heart?

 

Kidding, of course. *chuckle*

[SilentPrayer]

Hey there, sweetie! Welcome back

 

I understand the need to have someone warm for the winter in Canada... but will one or both of you be heartbroken come January?

 

 

I hope neither of us is heartbroken:(

I had a talk with him this morning over coffee and he understands my rules ect. He is actually pretty ok with it. He is a very very attractive man and yes he thinks I am too:laugh: WOW! He is really romantic.

 

We both understand eachother. However he said that neither of us can have any kind of sexual contact with someone else. That if we want to ect...it has to be talked about before it happens..and that the relationship must be ended if it does happen.

 

I agreed...and were on good terms. I also had to make a phonecall to the (3) other guys stateing that I have met someone that I am going to pay more attention to. They seemed let down..a little bit affected that it wasnt them but I also made out some good pointers on someone fit for each of them. So I hope this helps because I set up 2 dates. The 3rd guy however says that he is planning to travel this winter and wont look for anything just yet.

So I am not on anyones bad list. Except my father..this is driving him NUTTY lol.

He wants me to get married, finish college, start a family, get a house..and settle down somewhere in canada. He is afraid I will go abroad and get stuck in some country.

 

Possibly france...brittian??

 

lol

 

Silent:bunny:

[Nostalgic]

 

Also I feel that everyone is never tied down to anyone unless it is a marriage and it is a closed marriage.

 

 

"Closed Marriage"...hmm, isn't that redundant? Sheesh, there are so many loopholes for ppl to avoid commitment--now you need to specify what level of marriage you have!

 

But I digress...(sorry!) As for your original question:

 

I definately see where you're coming from--it'll be getting cold pretty soon here in NY too, and so far i am alone...I know you wanna get your own needs met but just be incredibly careful not to play w/ the guy's heart, ya know? As long as you're honest w/ him up front--as i think you said you are--and he's cool w/ that, I see nothing wrong w/ the two of you keeping each other company for the winter.

 

It's nice to have someone to snuggle up in front of a fire with. :love: And who knows, it could turn in to something more.

 

Good Luck!

[Jayhawks]

anyhow. I kind of feel like my ways might corrupt him but in a sick way I want to do exactly that

 

You are so normal SilentPrayer. I have heard many of girls say that they would love to corrupt a nice guy. It is a fantasy to introduce a guy to their worldly ways. Just take care to not capture his heart or you might have trouble getting rid of him.

[SilentPrayer]

"Closed Marriage"...hmm, isn't that redundant? Sheesh, there are so many loopholes for ppl to avoid commitment--now you need to specify what level of marriage you have!

 

But I digress...(sorry!) As for your original question:

 

I definately see where you're coming from--it'll be getting cold pretty soon here in NY too, and so far i am alone...I know you wanna get your own needs met but just be incredibly careful not to play w/ the guy's heart, ya know? As long as you're honest w/ him up front--as i think you said you are--and he's cool w/ that, I see nothing wrong w/ the two of you keeping each other company for the winter.

 

It's nice to have someone to snuggle up in front of a fire with. :love: And who knows, it could turn in to something more.

 

Good Luck!

 

Ok something totally OFF topic..

I had a dream last night I was pregnant and I was going for this Fund Raiser walk or something...and the "new guy" the crush..whatever was there...he was the father I presume because he was rubbing me belly.

Next thing I knew...another prego was walking with me...and she said....you are so close to finishing congrads.

Then I woke up~ What is with the dream? It changed how I thought of him...funny thing though lol.

 

Anyhow...he is doing ok by this..and its a first for him he is curious to see how it goes..so am i:D

 

ps: he is into bondage..........BDSM. I know enough about it to practice it but....then again....I haven't had the BIGGEST urge to do it. Im curious as hell yes...but sheesh...is it sain to do?

Silent:lmao:

[basscatcher]

How the heck can someone have just a seasonal relationship and causual dating relationships? I will date someone maybe a few times and if I dont think there is any potential in a serious future I will express to him my insight. Why should I lead a guy on for months and months and break his heart when someone better comes along. There is always someone better, sweeter, richer, better looking, funnier out there. The grass always looks greener on the otherside too. When you find someone you feel compatable with and you can see a possible future with (not perfection) I then think its only fair to give the go ahead on something more serious. But why toy with someones feelings to meet your own needs temporarily..

I wanted to have a committed relationship last spring. I would have loved to have found a wonderful man to spend the summer with to go to the fairy, go fishing, canoeing, short trips, exploring, watch movies with, go out to eat, go dancing and explore the city---BUT IT DIDNT HAPPEN-----I'm still alive, healthy and I survivied. I would not have dumped him when fall came. Nor would I dunp him if I met him in the fall and we went spent the winter months together when spring came because there is sun, warmer weather and hot bod's running around with lots of tanned skin showing.

I think you are using these guys for your own benefit and these guys think they can tame you and keep you. (maybe a few just want to use you too.)

Why lead someone on if you don't see any possible "I do's" in the future. Why use them and lead them on. I think you need to tell them they are a seasonal thing so they know not to invest themselves into you...

I wouldnt make myself cheap. I surely woudnt want a man who is involved with another woman when he meets me. I did that and he didnt give himself time to detox himself from the OW. I felt compared to her all the time. It wasnt fair. Just the thought that he had sex with her the day of or a week or two before he was starting to date me is just gross. GROSS...

[SilentPrayer]

I am not using any of these guys. If thats how you would like to phrase it.

I have been going into these relationships with BOTh partys knowing. I have never had sex with either of them without then knowing this and being ok with it completly.

 

Neither of them has tried to tame me and I would feel a bitt weird if they did.

I can not be tamed or changed for just anyone. It has to be the right person.

I mean open as in...not so much of a damn marriage type of relationship where you have to be faithfull, spend ALL the time together, all of that.

Im young and I can. That says alot of why I probably do this.

 

I am one of the most ANAL people about diseases with sex..ect. So to say that I don't play safe is out of the question.

 

Anyhow....I do what I do..you do what you do.

 

Tomato To-Ma-To

 

easy as pie...were different.

 

You Cherry.....and I am some kind of funky one lol I dont know.

 

Nothing is wrong with what I do....its just different thats all

[amerikajin]

Silentprayer,

 

I'll preface this by saying that I'm unusual, so my 'rules' don't necessarily apply to other guys.

 

But after reading your rules, I think you're reminding me of why I'm always leary about dating young and highly attractive women. It's not that I don't have confidence, it's that you all know you've got the power in the relationship, and you all know that there are 5 or as many as 10 different jugheads who let their smaller heads do their thinking for them who will be in hot pursuit. Women under 30 just aren't worth my time anymore - not that it matters to you, but just to let you know that if you happen to encounter a 30-something who's not as turned on as you think he should be, this is one reason why. That said, I know that as long as you're young and attractive, you'll probably be able to find guys of just about any age as long as there's some libido left.

 

So enjoy your power while you've got it, girl, 'cause things change when you get to be older. Men control the market then - especially desirable men...i.e. the ones with brains, money, ambition, confidence etc.

[RecordProducer]

What is with the dream?

You might want to visit this web site: http://www.dreamsnightmares.com/pregnancy.html

ps: he is into bondage..........BDSM. I know enough about it to practice it but....then again....I haven't had the BIGGEST urge to do it. Im curious as hell yes...but sheesh...is it sain to do?

 

This is what I've found about bondage:

- "a state of being contained or trapped in a particular place, time, physical shape or moral condition."

- Making a submissive physically helpless and to a great extent immobilized. Techniques include rope ties, handcuffs, leather cuffs, stocks and mummification

- the state of being under the control of another person

 

As long as it doesn't involve physical pain, it's sane in my book.

[ReluctantRomeo]

I hope neither of us is heartbroken:(

 

I hope so too... I think the practise of open relationships is way more difficult than the theory though.

 

 

He is afraid I will go abroad and get stuck in some country.

 

Possibly france...brittian??

 

[SilentPrayer]

You might want to visit this web site: http://www.dreamsnightmares.com/pregnancy.html

 

 

This is what I've found about bondage:

- "a state of being contained or trapped in a particular place, time, physical shape or moral condition."

- Making a submissive physically helpless and to a great extent immobilized. Techniques include rope ties, handcuffs, leather cuffs, stocks and mummification

- the state of being under the control of another person

 

As long as it doesn't involve physical pain, it's sane in my book.

 

 

Hey,

 

Thank you for the site. It was really interesting. I guess this is a new beguining. No X...no steady relationship...no more wrongfull cheating...lol..I know that sounds funny coming from me but @ the point we agreed to not sleep with others. blah blah blah...whatever right.

 

Anyhow...this makes sence and it was bothering me for a few days.

 

Thanks for the tip,

 

Silent:love:

[RecordProducer]

Thank you for the site. It was really interesting. I guess this is a new beguining.

You are welcome.

I also thought that it might mean a new beginning for you, but I don't know your life and didn't want to play a doc anyway.

[Apex]

So enjoy your power while you've got it, girl, 'cause things change when you get to be older. Men control the market then - especially desirable men...i.e. the ones with brains, money, ambition, confidence etc.

I agree. The hot ones are only good when the mileage is low.

[hillman]

Canada is fugin cold during the winter. You mise as well make funeral arrangements for yourself in the fall time for your funeral in the winter if you don't have a partner. I feel very sad for the homeless that we have in canada, because the majority sleep out in the streets in the moth bitter weather.

 

As for the placeholder. I kind of don't tell them. I just let them go....sonner then later. Usually just before spring.

 

Does this make me out as a total a**h***?

 

In a way, yes. Is there some reason why you are unable to continue the relationship? Is it that you really don't like being with the person, or is it just that you dont want the burden of a Long Term Relationship? If you enjoy being with someone, don't drop them... summer holidays an be lonely too if you're single!!!