UPDATE: About that girl on my previous thread

[Tagalz]

Hey!

 

I recently got a job at the cinema and this is the third day of being under training with another one as well (we can call her Maria) I just feel like quitting my job because I have a feeling that she is talking behind my back to the manager and then to our colleagues. Keep in mind that I’m not sure.... it’s me judging by how they act towards me.

 

For Maria I get the feeling that she want to be distant. She also has less eyecontact with me now than before.

 

It’s important for me to ask questions as I learn but everytime I ask my manager he says «Yeah I will teach you but right now I cannot do that on the computer or else it would be wrong at the end of the day»

 

1. He says he will help me, but he doesn’t

2. My questions is the same as Maria’s but when she asked him a question the manager gladly helps. All I can do is just watch and learn. Not the best way.

3. Even at some point I have to ask Maria to teach me. That just proves the manager is not giving me full training.

 

Does that say anything to you on how my manager gives Maria full training?

 

so Maria and my manager has had alot of «time together» when it’s just him and her. I was doing my tasks so I did not care much until now. That is why I believe she might have been talking about me when they are doing whatever they do just without me. This also makes me worry about her time with my manager. Are they keeping a secret? Why cannot I come? Do you get my point?

 

Also! I was washing tables and soda machine when I saw my manager and Maria come from outside (they might have gone out to smoke) and I overheard my manager saying:

 

«If you feel like you need to ask anything, just ask because it’s better to ask alot than asking less. I would gladly help you»

 

And ends the sentence saying «good work!»

 

It’s clearly that he is not happy with my work. My friend says that all of this is overthinking but is it? Why does my manager spends so much time with Maria going out or somewhere in the cinemas? I don’t think Maria asks him about work related stuff when they are wandering around. It’s probably something secret.

[Rayce]

I'm sorry your going through this. I would just try to ignore Maria and do what you can within your control to shine at your job. Try not to get too hung up on them going out and stuff like that. If your still unhappy after a period of time start looking for something else.

 

wishing you peace and success

[The Outlaw]

Don't worry about it. Wanting to quit after three days would make it easier on him if he isn't impressed with you. And to hell with them if they're talking about you behind your back. If they are, we all have critics or someone that's dismissive of us. Allow it to motivate you. Become a self-taught man and learn as you go.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Try not to worry what people are talking behind your back. I am sure they are talking behind mine but meh..

[Tagalz]

hey!

 

to the admin: You can feel free to put this on the same thread that I wrote a few days ago about this girl. But if you do change it as "updated" I would prefer it to be alone so people can see it when they click on business and professional relationships

 

So I mention a lot about this girl Maria on my previous thread. She is under training as well as me at the cinemas. She has since day one been talking behind my back.

 

I believe she does because:

 

1. She and my manager has had a lot of time together just wandering around the cinema's (Just him and her). what could they possible be talking about? it could be work related stuff or just her talking behind my back.

 

2. One time I was just going to the toilet and when I came back Maria and my manager stopped talking. a sign?

 

3. She is talking behind my back to other female colleagues.

 

I want to confront her but at the same time I can't because what I believe she does doesn't exactly mean that she is doing this. And If I did she could easily say: "What are you talking about?" like I have no evidence. Again this comes from how I read people's body language and how they are towards me and that leads me to believe she is 100% talking behind my back.

 

 

BUT if I were to confront her I would say this:

 

"Hey, listen I won't say any names, but I know that you've been going around to other female colleagues and talking sh*t about me. I just want to say that you should stop because you are the one who creates a bad work environment here and not me"

Edited June 23, 2019 by Tagalz

[The Outlaw]

We're all going to have our critics. If she's chum with the boss, so what? Like I said the other day, if he isn't willing to teach you anything, learn yourself. Strive to be your absolute best. If they have any doubts about you, prove them wrong. Do whatever you feel is right, but if you confront her it's only going to make your overall work experience there THAT much more awkward and uncomfortable. I have someone that I work alongside that I can't stand. But I just give her the brush off the and go about my day.

[basil67]

She and the manager could be talking about work stuff or personal stuff. They could be talking about movies or what they did on the weekend. They seem to have an easy relationship so chat comfortably.

 

To be honest, I'm worried that you're sounding a little paranoid. You have no evidence that she's talking behind your back. Confronting her over it could not only risk your employment, but also lose you a referee. Rule 101 in the workplace: don't ever burn bridges. If you do find the workplace becomes untenable, leave graciously.

 

With your training in the meantime, they may be teaching a few skills at a time. When you master those skills, they teach you more.

[alphamale]

get another job man

[Foxhall]

I enjoyed Norway's penalties the other night- womens world cup!

 

maybe try and get to know Maria a bit better yourself- is she hot!

 

Ask her how her weekend was and so on- she might be nicer than you think

[d0nnivain]

Taglaz

 

At your other job in the convenience store you believed that a male co-worker was conspiring with a manager against you. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/platonic/business-professional-relationships/684679-my-current-situation-work

 

Here you are 3 days in to a new job & you think a different co-worker is conspiring with a manager against you.

 

Perhaps consider that not everything is about you. Do your job. Ask Qs if you need to learn but put your head down & work. Stop worrying so much about office gossip & politics.

[ChatroomHero]

Yeah, you're over thinking it and creating a fictitious drama playing out in your head. Walking up to a new co-worker and saying what you want to say without proof and with a made up scenario in your head is a bit alarming.

 

 

To me it's more likely you are the problem and they are right to avoid you because the sense the craziness coming from you.

[siren8272]

I would hold off on confronting anyone unless you have proof because then you would appear irrational. Just keep a mental log and if you come across proof then PROFESSIONALLY confront the person. I get it office politics can impact your career. So just sit back and observe.

Edited June 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[BaileyB]

IF you do happen to find proof, I would be more inclined to find another job than confront the other staff. But, that’s just me... I wouldn’t want to stay in an unhealthy workplace.

Edited June 26, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Tagalz]

Yo peeps!

 

I am the only one that doesn’t have the keys out of like 20+ colleagues that have. The key give us access to different rooms at the cinema’s including the wardrobe. I have to ask either my manager or my colleague for the keys everytime I come to the work.

 

I got the keys when I first started this job but it turns out it didn’t go trough the door when I was asked to get some soda’s. I have been waiting to get a key that actually work since then. It’s not the important part tho.

 

It was closing time and my manager asked me to lock the door so that no more customers could get in. He was standing with two other colleagues and chatting. I was standing at the entrance of the screening room while they were at the cashier side. (It’s far away)

 

I said to the walkie talkie: «Can you help me lock the door? I don’t have the keys» And then everyone started to laugh. He said something back in Urdu (He’s from Pakistan) I didn’t understand so I just asked if he’s coming or not.

 

I felt that they were laughing at me just because I asked for help and it was not a pleasant feeling. I don’t see it funny. My manager should know better. I even ask him for the keys to the wardrobe everytime I come to work so how could he not know?

 

I’m telling myself not to overthink this because he probably saw that I was nearest the exit so I could lock the door while I was there.

 

Am I being bullied? I think there is also a girl who is behind that to. That girl asked me to get something but I took the wrong object and she was laughing at me for that. She’s probably talking about it to everyone.

 

I’m not the one who causes the bad enviroment.. it’s my manager and he’s favourite girl

Edited July 20, 2019 by Tagalz

[alphamale]

you need to change jobs

[Foxhall]

You need to be more assertive and ask for a key the next day you are at work,

 

say straight to this manager, that situation was awkward the other evening,

 

Can you give me a key to avoid this in future,

 

stand up to people without getting angry or annoyed, but say it also in a polite but firm way,

 

It is minor bullying perhaps, but the main problem is you are allowing yourself to be bullied by having been too quiet and not asking for the key,

 

if people show weakness or are too quiet,other people will walk all over them.

you are every bit as good as this manager or these girls who are laughing. so make your presence felt.

[Tagalz]

you need to change jobs

 

Nah I’m probably just overthinking, Alpha. The thing is that I didn’t hear what they were laughing about altough yes it is also possible that it was ment towards me. I just know that it was not a pleasant feeling (:

[JEG88]

I'll echo the sentiment to change jobs. What's so special about staying in that environment that you couldn't get at another cinema or similar venue?

[preraph]

If you want to stay even though you feel there are people laughing at you, at least ask the manager in private for a set of keys. My thought it people probably don't stay too long at this job, so maybe the girl leading the laughing will leave soon. Once you get the keys, just pay them no mind.

[Tagalz]

If you want to stay even though you feel there are people laughing at you, at least ask the manager in private for a set of keys. My thought it people probably don't stay too long at this job, so maybe the girl leading the laughing will leave soon. Once you get the keys, just pay them no mind.

 

I asked my manager today and he told me that I had to wait for someone to leave the job in order to get the keys and that could take years or maybe months. I will post an update now about this girl. I 've got some more information now

[Tagalz]

Hey!

 

The past weeks has been very challenging for me and it's draining all my energy...

 

On monday and thursday I had work on both jobs which was making me choose one. It's never a good position to be in when you have work in two places at the same day. It's possible to have two jobs without it having to crash between the two. In my case I have to choose one company to work for and I need much time as possible to think. I never wanted it to happened and I want to keep my both jobs. I got a warning by the manager at the cinemas so the next time I skip then I'm sure they are going to fire me.

 

NOT only do I have to think about choosing my workplace I'm also having trouble with two girls that are kind of bullying me. I'm going to refer the girls as Girl A and Girl B - Mainly. Also Girl C which is best friend with Girl B.

 

The most noticeable is that Girl A and B are the ones who is behind all that laughing and talking sh*t about me.

 

One time when I was taking the trash out I overheard Girl A talking about that episode where I took the wrong cups for the popcorn. She said: "I can't believe Tagalz didn't even see the right cup size, like omg is he not listening or something"

 

Today Girl B was at work with Girl C. I assume that they are bestfriends by their body language. So Girl C was talking to Abdi and asked if he needed help. Then I came and said: "He's independent male and doesn't need any help." Yah I know it's rude but then Girl B was whispering in her ears and they went somewhere to hide. They were laughing as well and after that Girl C was just talking behind my back to Abdi.

 

yesterday they were laughing at me because I asked for help to lock the door. Meaning that they really think that I have low IQ to not even be able to lock a door. I asked Abdi who was there when they were laughing and he was avoiding my questions so that's a sign that I'm not overthinking.

 

I have a serious decision to make that needs time to think and then I get bothered by those girls... I just want to get rid of the girls bullying me first and then I can take care of the important decision... If I keep getting bothered by those girls I won't even be able to sleep!

Edited July 20, 2019 by Tagalz
I hope people read this and understand because I really need help right now

[Tagalz]

The next time Girl A asks me to get something for her I'm thinking to say this to her: "Listen, I don't think I'm the right guy to ask when it comes to bringing you something. Please ask another one of your colleague :)"

 

Or "I don't think you're nice to me and we don't have good work relations, so please ask another colleague"

 

If she says: "Are you serious with me or are you joking?"

 

Then I'll say: "Don't ask me to do something for you when you're not even nice to me, Thanks!"

Edited July 20, 2019 by Tagalz

[preraph]

Dump this cinema job where the girls are rude and just go get another job. It is MUCH easier to get a job when you are already working. You can just say you're trying to just move up instead of that you are unhappy with people there. Don't give them any real info.

 

But yes, after a warning, you will be fired, so beat them to it! Go get a job at some other place right away.

[Tagalz]

Dump this cinema job where the girls are rude and just go get another job. It is MUCH easier to get a job when you are already working. You can just say you're trying to just move up instead of that you are unhappy with people there. Don't give them any real info.

 

 

Did you read everything? I won’t leave my job because they are rude. I can either be rude back or confront them (:

[Eternal Sunshine]

I don't see why you don't find another cinema or customer service job. Sounds like this is not a career job for you. It's not worth the drama and also looks like the manager is looking for an excuse to fire you.