Can you tell if someone is single and childless?

[Springsummer]

Let's say you see someone here and there for a while but don't know each other and have never had a conversation.

 

Can you tell by the way the person acts or behave? can you just feel something like these?

 

is there an aura about a person that we can tell?

[alphamale]

if she makes extended eye contact and smiles at me I will assume she is single

 

if she looks relatively sane she probably doesn't have kids

[major_merrick]

I'd say it is more like the reverse - while it is tough to tell if someone is single and childless, there are some dead giveaways that show if someone has a partner and kids.

 

I've noticed that many mothers end up with a kind of "mom frump" look to them. Like they don't care about their appearance as much because their life is in chaos. Back in my single days, if I was curious about a girl, I'd often find a way to glance at her car. Crappy car full of junk often means "I've got little kids." Of course, there are other easy giveaways such as ring on the finger, personalized necklaces, and personal pictures used as phone screen backgrounds.

 

Now, fatherhood is more difficult to spot than motherhood. Fathers don't seem to let their lives become a mess as easily as mothers. But I've noticed that since my husband has had kids (and more and more kids) that some of his habits have changed. Like the ever-present steno pad full of lists of stuff to do. Fathers who have kids at home are less likely to spend lots of time out with the guys, and are often hurrying home after work because they've got housework too. There's also the issue of "dad bod" which is the male equivalent of "mom frump." Men don't dress differently, but sometimes their fitness takes a hit when they have kids.

Definitely not a catch-all list, but just a few things I've seen along the way...

[Mr. Lucky]

Can you tell if someone is single and childless?

 

Like through a blood or breathalyzer test? Not yet, though I'm sure the app is coming.

 

If it's a woman, check her purse for Goldfish crackers...

 

Mr. Lucky

[preraph]

Women with little kids are rarely without them except during elementary or kindergarten school hours. You can probably tell by looking at someone's grocery shopping cart or Target or Walmart cart. But mostly it's just a the single child free ones are going to be out and about doing things when others are going to be with their kids are at home.

 

If you see a woman eating out mid afternoon anytime except summer, the mothers are all picking up their kids and not out and about then unless they're at the grocery store with their kids.

 

At work you can usually tell by looking at their desk.

 

You can tell alot by looking at someone's desk workspace. Someone who just got fired I guess at my office, there was a living Bible on her desk, look like a short condensed one.

 

There's a diva in my office who can't be making more than $12 an hour and she has a new Chanel bag on her desk and you're. pretty sure she's single and child-free.

 

A younger woman in my office parties every night and is feeling it every morning like I was her age and has Mardi gras beads on her desk. Pretty sure she's single and child-free. But probably not for long.

[noelle303]

For some reason, absolutely everyone who I'm introduced to is absolutely shocked to the core when they find out I'm a mom.

 

People at work have a hard time believing it and are totally taken back by this information.

 

I personally don't get it, like moms have to have a special look and behavior to be moms and I don't fit into their stereotype.

[basil67]

if she makes extended eye contact and smiles at me I will assume she is single

Or she's wanting to get a bit on the side. You're making quite an assumption about her not 'stepping out' on her husband there Alpha.

 

if she looks relatively sane she probably doesn't have kids

Or they are in boarding school.

 

Springsummer, then only way to get close to knowing is to have a conversation with the person.

[schlumpy]

I don't think there is a reliable way to tell unless you notice a child car seat in their Chevy.

[d0nnivain]

No you can't tell. There are ways to tell if they have kids -- you may see toys or spittle. But by looking at somebody you can't determine if they have an SO.

[chillii]

l'd say many guys can tell quite easily, they usually just have a totally different way dress personality, there's quite a few things actually that are usually pretty obvious.

No guarantees you get a few surprises but there's def' usually common things.

Even one of my sisters she didn't have her daughter until 44 but she's a totally different person in most ways now.

[Springsummer]

l'd say many guys can tell quite easily, they usually just have a totally different way dress personality, there's quite a few things actually that are usually pretty obvious.

No guarantees you get a few surprises but there's def' usually common things.

Even one of my sisters she didn't have her daughter until 44 but she's a totally different person in most ways now.

 

Please elaborate on what are the 'obvious' and 'common things'.

[amaysngrace]

l'd say many guys can tell quite easily, they usually just have a totally different way dress personality

 

Yep. I have tons of “badass mommy” tee shirts and tees with iron on mall photos of my little rascals to pair along with my mom jeans.

 

I totally agree.

[preraph]

For some reason, absolutely everyone who I'm introduced to is absolutely shocked to the core when they find out I'm a mom.

 

People at work have a hard time believing it and are totally taken back by this information.

 

I personally don't get it, like moms have to have a special look and behavior to be moms and I don't fit into their stereotype.

 

Well, it's certainly refreshing when they don't, so be happy about it.

[Woggle]

No way to tell just be looking at somebody.

[preraph]

Mothers with young kids not in school tend to not have time to dress well unless they are still working and have childcare. They let themselves go a lot because they're too tired and busy. But then there's lots of people without kids who also dress frumpy and have no excuse!

[Foxhall]

Married with children types of women will be rushing and barely have time to talk to you,

 

single and childless may be more receptive to chat,and will be more prepared to stay a while in your company.

 

not always of course but as a general rule Id say it is reasonably accurate

[noelle303]

Well, it's certainly refreshing when they don't, so be happy about it.

 

I mean, I'm not offended by it, but it's just strange. Some of the things people say make me "not a mom" are - young, dressed up, professional and put together.

 

So, I'd acually be offended if I was one of the other moms listening to that.

[preraph]

I mean, I'm not offended by it, but it's just strange. Some of the things people say make me "not a mom" are - young, dressed up, professional and put together.

 

So, I'd acually be offended if I was one of the other moms listening to that.

 

Right. Which is why I put the stipulation about young kids because those are the most harried mothers and the ones least likely to be trying to work professionally, except the ones with family childcare. Even then, they can be overly frumpy in their attire.

 

I worked next to a young mom with a toddler for quite a while. This is not a dressy office. But there were three positions who were expected to dress well enough to make deliveries of documents and occasionally meet the public. And her position was one that had been traditionally like that. The woman before her, who granted wasn't there long, dressed to the hilt.

 

Thing is she didn't have the money to do that and I guess wasn't wanting to make the time, though I happen to know she partied a lot, so I think she could have done it if she was motivated. But anyway, because she was a bad dresser, she was never given the better responsibilities that would have elevated her and made her job easier and more flexible.

 

She wasn't huge fat like me, but for a young person, she was fat, with rolls of it, and it was clear that she hadn't bought new clothes since before she had her baby and gained weight. Everything she had was very cheap and tight as spanx. Then she kept piling on the visible tats on top of it (free tats by her ex). If she'd even gone to the thrift store and bought two nice professional outfits and a good pair of shoes for when it was needed, she'd have been promoted and taken the full duties of what she was hired for, but she seemed oblivious, though I'm sure my boss's mother had hinted broadly about it to her before, and I was always telling her inexpensive places to shop for plus clothes.

 

She was replaced by a guy who dressed neatly, but not strictly for that reason.

Edited July 21, 2019 by preraph

[chillii]

I mean, I'm not offended by it, but it's just strange. Some of the things people say make me "not a mom" are - young, dressed up, professional and put together.

 

So, I'd acually be offended if I was one of the other moms listening to that.

 

 

Yeah , even all that stuff is usually pretty obvious with mothers or not mothers so no worries, def' take it as a compliment.

[major_merrick]

I think that lots of young mothers don't realize that it doesn't take much work to look decent. I slip into a pair of jeans and a decent shirt in the morning, and shake my hair until it looks OK and then tie it back. Literally ten minutes from bed to dressed and ready. Whether the person you are interested in is a mother or not, just say no to those who wear sweatpants or those damn leggings in public.

[LauraXX]

is there an aura about a person that we can tell?

 

Not sure about women (but when I look at my female friends who are married and have small kids, I'm quite sure that they do have that certain aura).

 

With guys, I can't tell at all. I wish I could. It happened so many times that I started flirting with guys only to find out that they're in a relationship. Last time it happened was only a few weeks ago. It was soooo frustrating. It was at a big party (it's a very traditional event in my city), we were dancing next to each other and then kept running into each other again and again during that night. There was definitely something going on, I certainly didn't imagine that he was very flirty and touchy. When I left I said goodbye to him and he replied: "Ugh, I wish I could leave as well. I'm so tired. But my girlfriend wants to stay just a little longer." So he was there with his girlfriend the whole evening

 

 

That's why I would be lost without OLD. I just don't have a radar for these things.

[spiderowl]

No I don't think you can tell. I would not be able to. I suppose if I knew them for a long time, I might guess, but that would probably be from attitudes to children that I have heard from some single people who do not have them. Sometimes I sense a lack of understanding but as some parents lack understanding, really you never can tell.