how to proceed?

[jeremyjacobs]

I'm not intending to convince her to go out with me. I'd never give a woman a list of reasons why she should be into me if she isn't. What I want to show her is that I'm not simply interested in her for her looks. In the initial post I said I don't want to be eager, I just want to let her know that she's misinterpreting my intentions, and maybe that will provide her with some food for thought, and we'll see what happens later down the line. If, this whole time that's what she's been thinking, then I certainly want to let her know how wrong she is.

[d0nnivain]

Then go back to what I suggested initially & send her some flowers.

[Beendaredonedat]

Jeremy: She has an issue within herself wherein she believes that men only want her to have sex with her. Heed that red flag and stop all pursuit of her.

 

Find someone that enjoys sex, a good woman who isn't walking around with such baggage. Someone who isn't afraid of her own sexuality and trusts men more in general.

 

BottomLine: She's told you to find someone else to fancy so whether that line about fear of being used is real or a ruse to get you to back off. You should back off. period!

 

Find someone who is just as excited to get to know you better as you are her.

[usa1ah]

Again - I don't see the difference. She likes me, she's into me, she fancies me. There's no denying it. She told me she has a complex, thinking guys only like her for her looks. That isn't true for me - I want to prove that to her. How can i go about doing that without being overly attainable?

 

Also, I've never slept with this girl. I kissed her once when we were at uni but I never took it further because she was a in a bit of a promiscuous at the time, and ended up with a few of my mates. A lot of time has passed since then and every time we see each other now there's a hum of sexual tension between us. We always, always connect. I've tried to move it forward a few times but she always goes quiet. She has acknowledged this before. She'll say she doesn't want to ruin a friendship, she'll say she thinks I'm only in it for sex. All invented reasons, I think. She likes me and I like her, so we should have a crack. Not sure it's more complicated than that.

 

Date her but don’t have sex with her. Be faithful to her. Actions speak louder then words ever will. That is the only way to prove sec isn’t the only thing you want.

[SpiceCat]

Then go back to what I suggested initially & send her some flowers.

 

This. Try a sweet but benign gesture and see how she responds. If she still doesn't show any interest in you after this, then just settle for being her friend.

[jeremyjacobs]

So since I last posted about this girl I’ve dated a dated a couple of women, but in both cases I’ve lost interest, not really seeing it going anywhere, so here I am, single again.

 

Re: the girl in the original post - The last time I saw her she said ‘you jut want to **** me, you’re only interested in me because I’m pretty and blonde’. I very plainly told her she was totally wrong and that I like her for who she is, not what she looks like. We didn’t speak after that, and I just sort of forgot about it and moved on.

 

Anyway, I went to a party the other night and there she was. We got talking and she said she acted badly and wanted to apologise, and then started to go over old ground. I wasn’t really up for that, so I just called it water under the bridge. She replied ‘well it’s up to you if you want it to be water under the bridge’

 

Morning after the party she sent me a message essentially saying she had nothing to do that day and was at a loose end, so I told her to come over. She did, and we hung out for a bit. We’ve been texting a little since then (best part of a week), initiated by her. I feel like she’s willing me to ask her out again.

 

I do like this girl and I want to date her, but I don’t just want to fall back into the same push/pull pattern. Do I just steer clear and leave it as water under the bridge (she missed the chance she had), or do I stay persistent and go for what I want?