mixed up Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 this is so bizare! when we met i was the one who was jealous and insecure and always questioned his whereabouts but now in the last half year or so he seems to be the one asking all the questions. i use to acuse him of just running off in the morning and not spending any time with me in the mornings, now im the one doing it just to go to work and he is the one feeling left out. i use to be the one who asked endlessly "do you love me" now he is the one asking me all the time if i still love him. i use to be the one who felt threatened by him being gone all day and not calling, now when i don't call him during the day he wonders if i'm seeing someone else. how did this happen? now i know what i put him through and what he was complaining about all the time. what the heck happened? i don't understand this at all, i know i went for some counseling and was on some meds for a while that seemed to of helped alot with my jealousy problems all though i still get jealous at times and may give him the third degree and when i do i can see a hint of a smile that he tries to hide like he likes the jealousy thing once in a while. what do i do now cause now he is driving me crazy with guilt trips in the morning and so much loving and saying all these sweet things endlessly. i'm not complaining about that but i am frustrated with his guilt trips in the morning when i want to get out of the house early and he wants me to stay and visit for a while, what is going on with him? i have not changed that much at all for him to feel threatened at all, so what could this be? help! Link to post Share on other sites
Jana Posted June 5, 2001 Share Posted June 5, 2001 I wonder if your bf used to feel very needed and wanted by you when you constantly needed that security from him. Now that he doesn't have 24 hour assurance that you need and want him right by your side (since you have learned to become a less jealous person--and great for you), he may be expressing his fears and insecurities by acting like a jealous and possessive nut! Tell him how much he means to you. He is obviously starving for a few words from you. He definitely needs to overcome his issues with jealousy, etc., but you'd be amazed what a little reassurance from you would do for him--and for the both of you. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
mixed up Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 this is so bizare! when we met i was the one who was jealous and insecure and always questioned his whereabouts but now in the last half year or so he seems to be the one asking all the questions. i use to acuse him of just running off in the morning and not spending any time with me in the mornings, now im the one doing it just to go to work and he is the one feeling left out. i use to be the one who asked endlessly "do you love me" now he is the one asking me all the time if i still love him. i use to be the one who felt threatened by him being gone all day and not calling, now when i don't call him during the day he wonders if i'm seeing someone else. how did this happen? now i know what i put him through and what he was complaining about all the time. what the heck happened? i don't understand this at all, i know i went for some counseling and was on some meds for a while that seemed to of helped alot with my jealousy problems all though i still get jealous at times and may give him the third degree and when i do i can see a hint of a smile that he tries to hide like he likes the jealousy thing once in a while. what do i do now cause now he is driving me crazy with guilt trips in the morning and so much loving and saying all these sweet things endlessly. i'm not complaining about that but i am frustrated with his guilt trips in the morning when i want to get out of the house early and he wants me to stay and visit for a while, what is going on with him? i have not changed that much at all for him to feel threatened at all, so what could this be? help! Link to post Share on other sites
agreewithJana Posted June 6, 2001 Share Posted June 6, 2001 I know if i was in his position, and my girlfriend went from like fbi-level interrogation to something of a lesser degree, i would feel kind of insecure. it's like that annoying kid who always calls you and wants to hang out with you and it pisses you off, and then he finally stops and you miss the attention. kinda the same thing. just make sure he knows how much he means to you, not just by telling him, but through little actions too. Jana's right, a little reassurance can go a long long way. and if that doesnt work, you went to counseling....why can't he? Link to post Share on other sites
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