How to succeed on Tinder

[ZA Dater]

Is it about the bio or the pictures chosen and if so are there any sort of pictures that people have found are better at attracting people?

 

Bio's are there some words which shout more to people than others. Let me be very clear here, I am asking what are the superficial things one can do which would work better on Tinder.

 

On reflection I have decided to take a different route and instead of looking for a relationship I am just going to try and look for something fun so I need to figure out how to change my approach to accomplish this.

 

Do I accept everyone on Tinder is looking for a good time?

Edited July 23, 2019 by ZA Dater

[mr_ybor]

Hell if I could ever find out.

 

I've tried a number of different pics and bios. Tried to look my best, engaged in cool hobbies, tried being humorous, tried being honest about what I was looking for. You name it. I've probably tried it.

 

Been on-and-off it three or four times over the last 6+ years or so. Throw Bumble and Hinge in there as well.

 

Tried the FWB angle when I was just completely exhausted with trying to find a woman who was looking for something more serious. No goddamn clue what women want anymore. It ain't me, that's obvious.

Edited July 23, 2019 by mr_ybor

[alphamale]

for most people OLD is a complete waste of time

[mr_ybor]

for most people OLD is a complete waste of time

 

Correct me if I'm wrong, online is the now the most common way people meet their S.O. in 2019... which would make it the least waste of time for the most people.

[PRW]

Is it about the bio or the pictures chosen and if so are there any sort of pictures that people have found are better at attracting people?

Tinder is visual. The bio is just supplemental. For the pics one or two good clean head shots, then a few full body shots so they know what you look like over all. The pics should show you having a good time somewhere out with friends, but nothing too over the top. It should look like something they would want to join you in that is not intimidating (no jumping out of airplanes or bunjie jumping for example)

 

On reflection I have decided to take a different route and instead of looking for a relationship I am just going to try and look for something fun so I need to figure out how to change my approach to accomplish this.

I think that is a really good idea. Treat it as practice,...fun practice,...it is not a mission. If you never see her again,...no sweat,...there's another bus every 15 minutes.

 

Bio's are there some words which shout more to people than others. Let me be very clear here, I am asking what are the superficial things one can do which would work better on Tinder.

Just keep it short and simple, don't over complicate it. The viewer's attention span is probably 10-15 seconds.

 

On reflection I have decided to take a different route and instead of looking for a relationship I am just going to try and look for something fun so I need to figure out how to change my approach to accomplish this.

No need to put that in the profile. It is not a job application. Just have your own discipline settled in your head,...your body will follow,...and they will read your body language facial expressions, etc.

 

Tinder is still primarily a hook-up app full of shallow people but there are still other types of people mixed in. Just accept it for what it is and don't get all worried about it.

[PRW]

Correct me if I'm wrong, online is the now the most common way people meet their S.O. in 2019...

 

To meet? Yes.

 

To accomplish anything? No. But it may be good "social skills" practice as I recommended to the OP.

 

Of course standing by a subway train and meeting people as they get off and walk by is about as effective at "meeting" people. Standing in the middle of a busy street works well too,...at least they will honk and say passionate things to you.

[mr_ybor]

To meet? Yes.

 

To accomplish anything?

 

 

Well, most "couples met" was the statistic... I'd very much consider coupling an accomplishment. Personally, my last girlfriend was from an online dating app.

Edited July 23, 2019 by mr_ybor

[Foxhall]

speaking of trains- they are a decent source of meeting people actually,

 

no harm speaking to any random ladies at any given place,

 

the one in ten who gives you the time of day- just might be the one.

[normal person]

Do I accept everyone on Tinder is looking for a good time?

 

Not necessarily. I'm not sure how it is in other places but at least in New York, you can usually assume people are on it looking for something more substantiative unless otherwise noted with something like "not looking for anything serious," or "just visiting for the week." You just have to read between the lines and screen out the people whose desires don't match your own. It's not hard. If they seem well put together, somewhat conservative in presentation, you can usually assume they're most likely not on there for "fun."

[salparadise]

ZA, given what i know from your other threads I think you will not enjoy Tinder. It's an attention-seeking game on steroids to most of the women. Conversion rate is low-low. Extremely good looking and witty men are probably having a field day, but for the other 95.7 percent it's a time-sink and frustration.

 

Only about half, maybe less, respond to a message after matching. Lot's of those will try to sell you pics, convince you to send them money, or get you to give your CC# up to a fake website. if you do get a response from a real person, most of those will either quit responding or unmatch after a few messages. I could go on, but bottom line -- it's titillating (at best), but very few dates result.

 

If you're one of those guys who can pick up women where no one else can get a glass of water, it will make hookups a lot faster and easier.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Tinder was originally designed as a hook-up site. All you needed to do was upload a photo and pin point your location wherever you may be at that moment and search out prospects within a small radius.

 

These days, although Tinder still attracts a lot of people looking for "fun", there are plenty on there looking for something more serious. Sometimes they put that right in their bios but many times they don't even bother and instead choose to keep their options open either way.

 

I have no idea what photos capture someone's attention since every woman is different with regards to what she finds attractive. Putting too many photos makes you look either super thirsty or narcissistic. Having just one pic and a bad one at that, often isn't enough for a woman to pull the trigger. As much as men complain about women being deceptive about the way they look, men do the same damn thing.

 

That being said, there are scads of men on Tinder and every other dating site with no photos at all and they seem to still manage somehow.

 

Even if you match up with someone on Tinder it doesn't guarantee much. Like with anything online, people can be flaky not to mention easily distracted by the next one. Patience is a virtue when doing online dating and sometimes takes a long while before you find someone that sticks around long enough to actually get a face-to-face.

 

Good luck.

[chillii]

Never know, could well work out l can tell you a funny one.

Don't know anything about all the dating apps you guys use, but here , after all my marriage business, l just went onto a date site to look around and see what they're like.

 

l wound up talking to women and stuff but no one that really hit the spot and l wasn't ready anyway, just curious really.

Then l thought l'm not ready to even think about some new relationship yet, why don't l just write l'm only interested in a good time.

Low and behold, l got emails from all sorts, some half my age, and no l'm not rich , got invites, all sorts. Again though , l signed out in the end, few weeks, it was just too soon .

[Blanco]

I don't use any apps, but from what I have picked up, better looking guys have the advantage, at least in terms of getting their foot in the door. We are speaking of a visual-first form of linking people up, after all. From there, though, it's generally advised you banter a bit with the people you match with and don't wait too long to set up a meet-up. Doesn't have to be in the first conversation, but spending weeks and weeks chatting before meeting is generally not advised.

 

So I don't know. A pleasing appearance is a good first step, but past that, I know a few women who are not gonna meet up with a guy if they don't have some enjoyable banter through the app first, which, as I understand it, isn't really your strong suit.

Edited July 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ZA Dater]

 

So I don't know. A pleasing appearance is a good first step, but past that, I know a few women who are not gonna meet up with a guy if they don't have some enjoyable banter through the app first, which, as I understand it, isn't really your strong suit.

 

I can actually do the written banter quite well, less so in person so often I think the issue is the difference between the app banter and the actually meet up in person.

 

I think I am going to get some proper pictures taken and see from there if I do a bit better.

[Blanco]

I can actually do the written banter quite well, less so in person so often I think the issue is the difference between the app banter and the actually meet up in person.

 

I think I am going to get some proper pictures taken and see from there if I do a bit better.

 

Guys are pretty bad at taking or having good photos of themselves. Most of us just don’t seem comfortable with photos unless it’s of us doing something, and those can be hit or miss.

 

I’m friends with a few professional photographers and I’ve toyed with the idea of having them shoot a few photos of me, since they’re likely to get the best, most natural visual of myself.

[6ix]

This thread has not had a good start with over half the posts off topic and deleted. If you are here to bully the OP, move along or we will consider a permanent ban. This includes the long term members that feel they “know” the OP.

[basil67]

ZA, Tinder is a ruthless place. I worry that it would take your self esteem even lower.

 

Please go into it with your eyes open and self esteem protected.

[LauraXX]

I assumed that the OP is already on Tinder and that's where he met his dates?

So is this about how to improve your Tinder experience or are you wondering if you should go on Tinder in the first place ZA Dater?

[ZA Dater]

I

So is this about how to improve your Tinder experience.

 

I want to try improve my tinder experience, specifically the matches I seem to get. I like to think I come across ok in person/I am always working on this but as the app is so visually focused what sort of pictures should one have.

 

How do you intrigue people enough?

Edited July 25, 2019 by ZA Dater

[Michelle ma Belle]

I want to try improve my tinder experience, specifically the matches I seem to get. I like to think I come across ok in person/I am always working on this but as the app is so visually focused what sort of pictures should one have.

 

How do you intrigue people enough?

 

Attraction is very subjective. Asking a bunch of strangers what works is pointless. What I find attractive may not be someone else's cup of tea.

 

Trying to capture the attention of the opposite sex on an app where you have maybe 3 seconds to make a good first impression is infinitely harder.

 

Like you said, you're better in person. I am as well. Unfortunately, OLD isn't designed for that, Tinder especially. Photos are the cornerstone but which ones is anyone's guess.

 

If you have any girlfriends, I might ask them to review your profile and photos. Again, what they like may not be what the next girl likes but at least you're asking someone of the opposite sex and around your age range about what typically works for them.

 

Good luck.

[chillii]

I want to try improve my tinder experience, specifically the matches I seem to get. I like to think I come across ok in person/I am always working on this but as the app is so visually focused what sort of pictures should one have.

 

How do you intrigue people enough?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why don't ya just throw the stupid damn thing out the window, sounds like a shyt of a thing to me, try a real date site or something.

Actually where have you been meeting all these women you've met lately anyway ?

It's sounded like you've found some great sorts for yourself and your tastes , even if it didn"t go anywhere.

[ZA Dater]

Actually where have you been meeting all these women you've met lately anyway ?

It's sounded like you've found some great sorts for yourself and your tastes , even if it didn"t go anywhere.

 

I have tried the real sites but I learnt that bio's generally don't work there and the pool of people is very small, many of them have been on the sites for year.

 

Tinder has been my primary dating app but I don't think I am using it effectively, the good catches are few and far between.

Edited July 26, 2019 by ZA Dater

[normal person]

Why don't ya just throw the stupid damn thing out the window, sounds like a shyt of a thing to me,

 

I don't see how it's much different than anything else. It's become a de facto method of meeting people and very useful for most, I'm sure ZA will be the first to admit he's an outlier, at least for now while he figures out the nuances of it. But, I think we should appreciate him stepping out of his comfort zone and trying something new to see how it goes even if it's not the easiest thing for him. Here he is taking the action to break his habits that people (me, at least) suggest. I'd encourage him to keep going forward from here rather than take a step back to where he came.

 

try a real date site or something.

 

And when online dating first came into existence, people said "why don't you meet people in real life, or something?"

 

Like it or not, times change. This is how it's done now. Adapt or die.

 

 

Tinder has been my primary dating app but I don't think I am using it effectively, the good catches are few and far between.

 

Buy the premium version. Make sure your pictures are good. Boost yourself when most women are at home, doing nothing (8-11 pm Monday-Thursday). That will get you in front of the most eyes.

[chillii]

Ahh, l was only thinking that from what a lot of people round here seem to say about it.

But on the other hand if you've met them from it za then really that's pretty good going, personally l'd be more than happy with that going on the type of women you've been meeting lately, great effort l'd think.

When l was on the date site seriously l only actually met a couple the rest was nothing really, just chit chat , no one really suitable.

[JEG88]

I've found Hinge and OKC to be the most active apps for me in terms of women I would actually want to meet and talk to, followed by Bumble. Tinder has too many weirdos/fakes/bots and too much focus on hookups obviously.

 

OLD has been a pretty useful means of meeting women for me, but I live in a large metro area so the sheer numbers make it a bit easier. Mostly due to convenience as I have a full-time job, run a side business and spent a decent amount of time in the gym.

 

You can make a textbook-perfect profile and may not get many messages or dates. It's just a numbers game depending on which women are attracted to you at first glance. But then it's up to the man to keep things interesting via messaging. And even then, there are so many reasons why you may not ever meet said women or just end up getting ignored - other men on the app, lost interest for whatever reason, she's busy with other stuff and the energy to keep messaging goes away, etc. It's a very fickle world given the convenience, and you have to get lucky and strike at the right time so to speak.