ScaryPanda Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 I'm running on empty. Everything is so overwhelming, I just feel like I can't keep up anymore. My self-esteem is incredibly low today and I just feel hopeless. How could I feel better Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 ah its not that bad, any day you are above ground is a good day, to be able to view the sky and the sea, to be able to walk, to be able to breathe fresh air life is precious, enjoy it while you can:) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ScaryPanda Posted July 25, 2019 Author Share Posted July 25, 2019 ah its not that bad, any day you are above ground is a good day, to be able to view the sky and the sea, to be able to walk, to be able to breathe fresh air life is precious, enjoy it while you can:) Simple and to the point.. Thanks, Fox! We all need to be more grateful for what we have indeed.. Although it's crazy how life can really drive us mad here and there. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Finding things to be grateful for -- even the small stuff helps I had turned away from my faith for years but went back about 2 years ago. Regularly attending services has helped me tremendously more then all the therapy I used to do. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Well, I know of some things that don't work.... Drugs and alcohol. Too much food. Or the American method of world peace (ie bomb the hell out of everything around you). None of those things do much good. About the only thing that works for me is distraction. Get so busy that I don't think anymore. Then most of the problems go away. The last thing you want is to have time alone to mope and whine. Do something new. Hang out with friends. Rebuild carburetors while watching movies with lots of guns and nudity. Whatever does it for you Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Sounds like you could use some chatting with a counselor or Help Line or similar? Might be helpful... Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 (edited) I work now work in the mental health field and one of the greatest remedies for people dealing with stress, anxiety, depression etc. is to get outside with nature and practice 'grounding'. Nature can be as effective as Ritalin or anti-depressants. Spend the day outside. Leave your phone at home. Take your shoes off. Feel the grass between your toes. Lay in the sun. Listen to the wind and birds chirping. Feel the breeze on your face. Smell the flowers. Check in with body as you tune into these experiences and notice how you're feeling. Try to be very present when you're doing this and do it for at least 30 minutes as often as you can and you will feel better, happier and calmer. I also recommend starting a Gratitude Journal. At the end of every evening, write down 3 things you are grateful for. It's an awesome exercise that helps you be more mindful each day as you seek out happy moments to add to your journal rather than get lost in the all the bad ones. Good luck. Edited July 25, 2019 by Michelle ma Belle 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Finding things to be grateful for -- even the small stuff helps I also recommend starting a Gratitude Journal. At the end of every evening, write down 3 things you are grateful for. It's an awesome exercise that helps you be more mindful each day as you seek out happy moments to add to your journal rather than get lost in the all the bad ones. Great advice, and an approach so easily lost in a world where marketing and social media makes it seem like everyone else is living a newer, shinier, sexier and more rewarding life. I'm currently watching my SIL turn herself into a basket case planning my niece's wedding and reception, to be held on their lawn. Seemingly forgotten is the fact they're financially very comfortable, have raised a beautiful, grounded daughter who's marrying a great guy and this will be a joyous occasion in front of family and friends. Every day you get to choose what you'll take from it. You've gotten some good feedback on context and emphasis... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Mr. Lucky -- weddings make everybody nuts. Hopefully it's a temporary thing. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Some things that help me when I keep from getting overwhelmed.: -Sleep. This can't be overemphasized enough. It's the most important part of keeping myself sane. I get my eight hours of sleep, come hell or high water. I'll pop half of a melatonin if I'm struggling to fall asleep. If that half doesn't work, I take the other half and get my butt to bed. Some of the other things I'll describe help me sleep. -Exercise. This doesn't have to be strenuous work; I just focus on getting 10k steps per day and then anything above that is icing on the cake. I do make this a priority during the day; I'll go for an hour long walk at night to make sure I hit those 10k steps if I have to. I can definitely feel it on days when I don't get those steps in. -Nutrition. It's amazing what dialing back on the junk food will do for one's mental health. I don't deprive myself of treats here and there but I make sure that the kitchen is loaded with lean cuts of meat, eggs, fish, fruits, veggies, nuts, and healthy sources of grain. It sounds cliche but proper hydration is huge as well; having a water bottle available at all times has been great. -Detaching from technology. I limit my use of social media as much as possible; it became too overwhelming for me. At night, I turn on some relaxing music and break out a book. In the past, I'd be watching Netflix, surfing the internet, and messing around on social media. Cutting myself off from that for a few hours a day helped me chill out. I used to view technology as a way to unwind but it stopped serving me in that manner. -Dial back on caffeine. Initially, I cut back on my coffee intake but I was still feeling spun out so I switched over to black tea. I drink it in moderation, still get my caffeine kick in the morning but get the calming effect of the l-theanine within in it most of the day. Before this, I was a caffeine junkie and it affected my sleep, mood and stress levels. -Nature therapy. This one is easy for me as I love to fish. But, it's amazing how much just chilling out in a park helps my mood. In fact, I was stressed out this morning about some stuff so I went and sat in a local park with some light music and my book for an hour. Calmed me down. -Deep breathing. I picked up some simple deep breathing techniques from a therapist awhile back and they've served me well. During a hectic work day, I take any chance I can to stop and practice deep breathing techniques for bit; it helps to center me. -Limiting negative influences. If something or someone is emotionally draining, I remove them from my life as much as possible. One of my closest friends is a great guy but I have to limit the amount of time I spend with him simply because he can be so negative and angry. We'll do pretty much anything for each other but I have to be careful of idle b.s. time with him as it drags me down. -Getting our of self. This basically just boils down to finding coping techniques to get out of my head. A lot of what I described above help me do this but I still have "f- it" moments. If the day has been chitty, I will get out of work as quickly as I can, eat a decent meal or snack, go for a long friggin' walk, take a hot shower and then lay down with music and a book. I might have left my desk with work that needs to be done but I know I will just spin out more if I stay one more minute at work. Get out of there, decompress, and pick it up the next day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 ScaryPanda, when i'm feeling low and blue I sent donations to charities. it makes me feel better that my checks will help someone else who needs it. I have a budget of around $1,000 per year earmarked for charity. I especially like supporting a large regional food bank, PBS and the University of Michigan's Research Centre. Alpha 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 I agree with Michelle Ma Belle that at least for some people, getting grounded in nature can really help. No matter what state of mind I'm in, if I get on the river out in the middle of nowhere, I get back to my primal self, the self that can hear deer talk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 25, 2019 Share Posted July 25, 2019 Like your post Oats, interesting the deep breathing one, this guy I play at the squash -hes American actually, (found a woman over here!) anyway I had won our first eight matches I think, and he says to me the other evening,want to change the format, play first to six sets as opposed to the usual three, It stretched the game to over 90 minutes instead of 40/50, he beat me 6-5, and at 55 hes a fair bit older than me, speaking after then he showed me the deep breathing, one must breathe from the stomach and not the chest, says he knew he could out last me if kept me on the court long enough. so must try to adapt this more, imagine it is good too in the sense of managing stress and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
OatsAndHall Posted July 26, 2019 Share Posted July 26, 2019 @Foxhall The deep breathing techniques have been a life saver for me when things get stressful. And, there's many variations that aren't difficult to learn. When I get stressed, I inevitably start taking short breaths through my mouth and into my chest; I don't get enough oxygen or expel enough carbon dioxide. This compounds the stress and makes it worse. If I can stop, draw a a few long deep breaths in through my nose using my diaphragm and breath out of my mouth, it chills me out. Ten plus seconds on the inhale and then five seconds on the exhale. Here's another neat little trick I picked up from working at a treatment center. I press three fingers on each hand right underneath each collar bone, press down and massage. I need to get my fingers slightly under each collar bone. This presses on a nerve that runs right there and (apparently) helps release calming neurotransmitters. I thought the counselor that showed it to me was full of crap but it works. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Peace and motivation are two different things, but when I find myself confronted with a problem that doesn't seem to have a good solution, or just something I really don't want to do, I usually start thinking about the good old days. Like a Roman soldier watching barbarians pour over the border. Or a civil war soldier marching in formation toward the enemy while the guys next to him are getting hit with a canon ball. Quickly puts things in perspective. I'm a guy though, so you might need different examples as a woman. There are plenty of examples out there though. Of ladies who had it a lot worse than you do. Link to post Share on other sites
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