I love where my life is at

[anika99]

So why have children in the first place?

 

 

I'm always puzzled how people complain that they have no life and how hard it is and how much they look forward to freedom when children grow up. Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation?

 

I think you kind of missed the point of the OPs post. I didn't get the impression that she was complaining about the sacrafices she made for her kids. I think she was just saying that now that that chapter of her life is over she is very much enjoying the next chapter. She didn't say raising kids was misery that gave her no pleasure. Besides anything worthwhile is worth sacrificing for. When a doctor or lawyer talks about the sacrafices they made in order to excel in their field do you say "well why even have a career then if it took so much sacrafice? I don't understand why students who are staying up late at night studying and working various jobs at the same time in order to pay for their education are always talking about how glad they are going to be once they graduate. That's so puzzling to me."

 

As for what you said about parents getting unconditional love while other people have to earn it, bwahahahahaha????. That's only when they are little. After that kids are their parents harshest critics.

 

You make a lot of negative assumptions about parents. You seem to think that all childless people are out changing the world and doing good deeds while all parents are just selfish egotistical narcissists who contribute nothing to society of any value. I know plenty of childless people who do nothing but serve themselves. There's a childless middle age guy who lives next door to me. He spends his time drinking, womanizing and playing video games. In the summer he goes camping, works on his expensive hot rod car, has drunken parties. Can't see what's so altruistic or exceptional about that. I know parents who donate time and resources to various charities on top off everything they do for their families. Having or not having children doesn't have anything to do with being mediocre. You don't know what people are doing or not doing to contribute to the world or to be better than mediocre. Many people establish themselves in great careers before they become parents. Some parents develop great careers after their kids are raised and some do both at the same time!

 

If you know yourself and you know that children are not for you then I think that's great! You should live your life as you see fit and celebrate your choices. However I've seen you post in several threads where you seem to ooze contempt for parents. Instead of just being happy and secure in your choice to not have kids you seem to be angry or bitter towards those who have chosen to have children. Even this thread that was meant to be a positive message by someone who has successfully raised their children and now happily moved into the next stage of their life you took as an opportunity to disparage and insult people who have chosen to be parents.

[preraph]

I have to agree that there definitely isn't "unconditional love" with kids. That's largely a one-way street. There's demands for attention that shouldn't be confused with "unconditional love" and then they become teens and hate you. You want unconditional love, get dogs. Not cats. Cats are very conditional.

[introverted1]

So why have children in the first place?

 

 

I'm always puzzled how people complain that they have no life and how hard it is and how much they look forward to freedom when children grow up. Is having children some kind of biological impulse that has no rational explanation?

 

 

It might be biology to start, but, for me, having children was absolutely wonderful. They were delightful to be around at every stage from babyhood to adulthood. Different joys at different stages. The adults stage is where you can sit back and enjoy your children as peers even though, as GT said, you never stop worrying about them.

 

 

Best thing I ever did. <3

[major_merrick]

I think there's something to be thankful for at each stage of life. Glad you're enjoying where you're at! I enjoyed being single, and now I'm really enjoying becoming a mom. I had my awesomeness before I had kids, now I'm just exploring a different phase of awesomeness. I'm sure that if and when I get older, I'll enjoy having my children grow up. They aren't meant to stay in the nest forever, after all.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Right there with ya, amaysn!

 

And ES, kind of right there with you, too!

 

I never wanted children (couldn't see any reason for having them) and was using more than one form of birth control when I found myself with a flu bug that wouldn't go away. A friend had to inform me the flu didn't last that long and I must be with child, which I was!

 

All that to say, my best career dreams have been realized but they don't hold a candle to the joy I've had/still have from my children, whom I reared mostly as a single mother as their dad and I divorced when they were young and he disappeared from their lives. Those were hard hard hard years! And yet, I wouldn't trade them for anything.

 

And, like amaysn, I appreciate the relative ease of life I now enjoy. But, the ease is sweetened by visits and phone calls from my wonderful grown children and the sweet "babies" they've brought into my life, who think their grammy is a rock star!