guy45 Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Just something that's been bugging me lately. I feel as if everything I do has to produce the most good in this world kind of like a utilitarian. For example don't eat meat because it will save animals. Recycle because it will save the fish, don't spend your money on things you like but instead donate it etc etc... But looking at all this I just feel that it would be impossible for anyone to be happy if they tried to meet all of these requirements. Whenever I do something that makes me feel good it also makes me feel bad at the same time because I think what if I'm selfish. How can I just live a normal life without always worrying about the greater good? It's like my mind doesn't even care about my own happiness. Any advice is appreciated.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Have you ever sought help for your anxiety? 1
Author guy45 Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 Have you ever sought help for your anxiety? no I haven't
Author guy45 Posted July 26, 2019 Author Posted July 26, 2019 You should. well now that you put it that way that fixes everything lol 2
Foxhall Posted July 26, 2019 Posted July 26, 2019 Give yourself a bit more balance, allow yourself a treat week or fortnight where you indulge yourself without feeling guilty, then take a week again where you hold back/ turn down some of the material things and be a giver rather than a taker, no harm to cut back on the meat anyway, reduce your cancer risk 1
Twizzlestick Posted July 27, 2019 Posted July 27, 2019 Armchair psychology alert! Whilst your conscientiousness is admirable on face value, going off your post, it seems to be seated deep down in some peculiar little things your mind is telling itself, about itself. Prob things that would serve you well exploring, possibly with someone trained to help you along.
preraph Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 Just an observation and may have no bearing on you, but the people I've met who are that way have usually had one big bad habit of some type they needed most to deal with but were dealing with all this ancillary stuff instead to make themselves feel better about not doing the one they needed to do the worst and weren't willing to do. Like alcoholics accounted for a few of them. They got some sense of control by quitting other stuff when alcohol was what was ruining them. Or it could even be staying in an abusive relationship. 1
LuckyM Posted July 28, 2019 Posted July 28, 2019 You do not need therapy. Waste of money probably, My advice is to do what you want if you enjoy that, and please don't punish yourself verbally or physically for your environmental conscience habits. Its good to have a conscience about these issues, but not if it interferes with your modest happiness on a daily basis. I am an environmentalist up to a point. If you let it seriously bug you, you can let it control your life, like an obsession. I know all about utilitarianism, the famous ethics from Britain. I am a utilitarian too, but not an extremist. So temper your utilit. with self-pleasure (egoism). Saving animals and earth is not your responsibility. Instead of J.S. Mill, read some of Ayn Rand. (Virtue of Selfishness) . Her rational philosophy may help...though it has faults. 1
heartwhole2 Posted July 29, 2019 Posted July 29, 2019 You're no good to the world if you're overwhelmed by compulsion and guilt. Put on your oxygen mask first (i.e. engage in self-care and be gentle with yourself) before you give yourself to the world. I am a deeply ethical person, but I also remind myself to do "do your best and leave the rest." Altruism should come from a place of joy and compassion, not a place of anxiety and guilt. My recommendation is to start a meditation practice. Do 10-20 minutes when you wake up and another meditation later in the day. Choose simple meditations that have to do with peace, self-love, gratitude, etc. This will help you turn off the voice in your head that says, "You should be doing more! You should be doing better!" so that you can simply be, and can act calmly and with purpose. 2
Author guy45 Posted July 30, 2019 Author Posted July 30, 2019 Thanks all, I feel I have my feelings more under control now. I'm not really sure why I always place my happiness last. I guess I should value it more. I also noticed I tend to worry a lot about things like these if I have nothing to look forward to or no goals. Usually if I have something good on the horizon things like these won't really bother me.
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