Savannah1990 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Hey everybody! I'm kinda new in the whole datingscene and I'm just a few months on Tinder. Now I had this great contact with this guy with whom a had a lot of things in common. We chatted for a week, which was fun and we had a click in the digital way. I had a good feeling about it. He asked me if I would like to drink something with him, which I wanted to. But shortly after that, I found out that he is about 10 years older than his age on Tinder. He said he was 30, but actually is 40! I asked him why he changed his age and he said that he usually don't click with older women and he just wants to meet younger women cause he still feels really young as well. It's a real letdown for me, since I don't like it when people lie. And besides that, I think a man that's nearly 18 years older than me is a bit too old. I had a really good feeling about it, but that's gone and I don't even think I wanna date with him. On the other side: what if we do click that good irl. Am I throwing away a chance? I just don't think his behavior is OK and that alone is such a letdown for me that I don't even know if I'll like him anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 (edited) it's just one guy...that you no longer need to waste your time on. Just block/delete and let it go....move onto the next. You already pointed out, he's too old and he lied... Edited July 27, 2019 by smackie9 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 it's just one guy...that you no longer need to waste your time on. Just block/delete and let it go....move onto the next. You already pointed out, he's too old and he lied... Yeah move on. Besides him lying about his age, he's also apparently chasing very young women (who he knows would probably never go for a guy like him, someone almost twice their age) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 So, he’s 40 and you are 23? There is something wrong with a 40 year old man who “doesn’t click” with women his own age such that he wants to chase the really young ones... it would be a real red flag to me that this guy lacks maturity. We have a guy like this at work - he has Peter Pan syndrome, in that he doesn’t want to grow up. Yeah, that’s way too much of an age gap for my liking, particularly at that stage of life. I mean, you should be just finishing school and starting your life... Most forty year olds have been married for years, have an established career, have two children, are going to soccer practice. It’s usually a totally different stage of life for most people. AND, I would never trust him as he is a proven liar. Next... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Twizzlestick Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 (edited) I’m 39 but couldn’t date an 18 -24 year old. No harm, but you’re usually looking for totally different things. People change a lot in their early to mid 20s. Just curious people have quite tight fixed opinions about age difference. I get it when it makes sense for reasons, as I’ve exampled, but when it’s arbitrarily ruled out for the sake of it, I don’t. I think ages is irrelevant if there’s no citing factors other than social prejudice, but more importantly compatibility. For example a 55 year old dating a 40 year old makes much more sense than a 35 year old and an 18 year old. In the former you’re more likely to be aligned with maturity. My ex was ten years younger than me, we didn’t split due age. We had a long rele. I’m also interested in dating late 20s/very early 30s girls and like I say I’m 39. I don’t think that is a prob, but that’s me. I find a lot of girls in that age are mature with their heads screwed on and got past wanting flighty reles with vacuous love island type blokes. I’ve found a lot of girls my own age, in late 30s/40 already have children or ex husbands floating around which isn’t for me (been there got hands burnt). I’m sure there’s loads of decent/never married/no kids ladies in their late 30s but not found many that float my boat. Yet. Edited July 27, 2019 by Twizzlestick Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 The lie is a red flag, particularly as it's meant to trick younger women into going out with him. I wouldn't be interested in meeting someone who isn't transparent about something so basic. It would rub me the wrong way and make me wonder what else is not true, and what else he would fabricate in order to get what he wants. Out of curiosity, how did you stumble upon his true age? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 10 years isn't so bad but 18 years is a stretch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 The problem is he felt comfortable lying to get the responses he wanted (from younger women). That comfort with lies probably extends to other things as well, so you're right to be leery. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Unfortunately this isn't only about the big age difference, the biggest part is he needed to lie to manipulate you into dating him. That's a hard pass. His excuse to why he did it, is not encouraging for the strength of his character. I mean even if he wants to date younger women (not uncommon at all), giving the excuse in that way, aloud to you, who he has been chatting with already and is a real person to him, not an age group, is kind of creepy. Frankly, it shows that his sophistication level is low and kinda crude--and that he is acting like you are stupid enough to fall for it, i.e. couldn't even be bothered or smart enough himself to come up with a better, more tailored to you response. Again, hard pass. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 The lie earned him a block. He didn't have to lie--he's trying to manipulate women he feels aren't mature enough to figure out his game. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 A lot of guys (and no doubt women) put themselves in the younger category because they don't want to date age-appropriate and some online dating sites only show you the ones in your age range, so they lie. If they're not going to ask for two forms of ID, they may as well just not do it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 You should tell him off and then block him. Maybe if enough young ladies do that, he'll stop. Can you report him to the dating site? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
D0nna Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Well he is there to find a "real match""",so he can't start such little information with a lie! Like not even one year but 10, !!!wowww. He is up to something. Block block! Tinder is same as every one online you don't know who you dealing with! Best is to socialize in your area. Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Someone lying on Tinder??? Oh My God!!!! Whoever heard of such a thing!!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Yes, all of the above. And I'll add this as well: he wants to date younger women because he can manipulate them easier. You do sound your age and quite innocent, that's good. But this guy, sorry to be so blunt - he is a creep! Here you are, actually not sure what to do. That's because you are young. He can never get away with such stunts with a woman his age. Also I think he knows just what to say and how to act to make young girls feel like they click with him. It is manipulation. It's similar to creeps using candy to lure children into bad situations. All bad guys have their bag of tricks. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 (edited) he said that he usually don't click with older women and he just wants to meet younger women cause he still feels really young as well. This is what all men who lie about their age say and it's such BS. Even if it's true, just say that in the profile and let the woman decide if she's ok with the age gap. It is demeaning to women to assume they're going to be so captivated by their charm that being 10 years older won't matter to them (as if women don't know what they really want). Edited July 27, 2019 by CautiouslyOptimistic 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Savannah1990 Posted July 27, 2019 Author Share Posted July 27, 2019 Hey there, well this ended in a funny way. The more I came to think of it, the more I got turned off about it. I told him that, no matter what his motives are, he lied to me and he lies to other girls. And that that is something I really do not appreciate. And that I think it's even worse that he didn't even straighten up told me he changed his age in the period we had contact, but just stayed silent about it. That I value honesty and some one that's trustworthy and that this action does not looks like that. He than replied and told me that there are a lot of girls that don't react like I do and that they don't care that he changes his age. That I seem to overreact and that it stems from my big ego that was shattered (?). He then deleted me. Omg, this guy has some issues. Lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 I think you just blew up the stereotype he was counting on for a younger girl. And he didn't appreciate the confrontation when it could have been ANOTHER opportunity to right his wrong--instead he tried to flip it on you like other girls don't have a problem, which insinuates that you do. Girl, you so dodged a bullet. boy, bye. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Lol. I like older men. My fiancé has a solid fifteen years on me. I don't like liars. I've always wondered about this tactic, because I would THINK that men who like younger women would want to look for women like me instead of effectively disqualifying themselves by pretending to be in my age bracket. All I can figure is that they have no interest in actual relationships and that the lie is ALSO an effective way to torpedo any interaction that might start going in that direction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Lying about his age could have just been the tip of the iceberg. Again, you dodged a bullet. If you had met up with him after all, one lie could have led to another. Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 People lying about their age means nothing. There is so much ageism in this world, and people get blocked if they tell the truth anyway. Lying about age does not make you a dishonest person, it just makes you someone who does not like your own age lol Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Uhhhhhhh, pretty sure lying about anything is the #1 indicator of dishonesty. Woman sleeps with 3,000 men, claims to be a virgin. Man claims to have a good career, is actually jobless and homeless. Woman weighs 450 lbs, uses photos of slender model in profiles. "Well, yeah, I lied about XYZ, but that doesn't mean I'm dishonest, it just means I don't like it." Come on. Give me a break. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 What a creep. Lots of people lie about their age on dating sites. I met a few guys who did, dropped them like hot potatoes when I found out they were liars. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 Hey there, well this ended in a funny way. The more I came to think of it, the more I got turned off about it. I told him that, no matter what his motives are, he lied to me and he lies to other girls. And that that is something I really do not appreciate. And that I think it's even worse that he didn't even straighten up told me he changed his age in the period we had contact, but just stayed silent about it. That I value honesty and some one that's trustworthy and that this action does not looks like that. He than replied and told me that there are a lot of girls that don't react like I do and that they don't care that he changes his age. That I seem to overreact and that it stems from my big ego that was shattered (?). He then deleted me. Omg, this guy has some issues. Lol Good for you! You dodged a bullet and are very wise . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted July 27, 2019 Share Posted July 27, 2019 The first guy I ever met off OLD also lied about his age, and that wasn't all he was lying about, he was a scam artist. Fortunately for me I was suspicious of his stories and did some research and discovered pretty quickly that he was lying about "his job". "His car" was registered to someone else (his girlfriend), when I questioned him about "his car" he realized I was onto him and he disappeared. A few months later the police called me as my phone number was in his phone and they asked if he'd taken anything off me (he hadn't), it turned out he'd scammed nearly 100K out of several different ladies he ended up in prison for the next couple of years. So my advice is be very careful and listen to what they say and if your gut tells you there's something amiss do some research. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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