Guy lied about his age on tinder, dissapointed

[spiderowl]

Ugh! I really hate it when guys do that. He lied about his age. He started a potential relationship by lying. What does that tell you about him?

 

I can tell you this will be the first of many lies. He is a guy who thinks that lying gets him what he wants or gets him out of difficult situations.

 

You are absolutely within your rights to dump this guy outright. You owe him nothing; he was not respectful enough to be honest with you.

 

I am sorry you were disappointed like this. I know it feels horrible. I actually feel you need to be careful with this guy. Lying about his age could be seen as a minor lie - what if he has a prison record? What else might he be lying about? Do not give away your surname, your place of work, car description or number plate, or your home address. Your safety is the priority.

[Inspire]

A 10-year age gap is a BIG deal. The guy is 40 creeping on girls in their 20's. It was his ego that was bruised. What a tool.

[Twizzlestick]

A 10-year age gap is a BIG deal. The guy is 40 creeping on girls in their 20's. It was his ego that was bruised. What a tool.

 

 

 

The fact he lied is a big deal, the fact he’s a creep - for lying is a big deal.

 

A ten year age gap a big deal? Whaat? I’m 39 ( a young looking and minded 39 year old) and on a date with a 29 year old today. She’s a professional, owns her own home. My last rele had a 9 year age gap and lasted a decade. It didn’t fail because of age gap. It was a successful rele until the end, more successful than a lot of so called perfect age gaps of mates who got divorced will inside that time.

 

Provided age is legal, who people choose to date is no one’s business really .

 

OP, this guy sounds dodgy as hell. Glad you steered well away.

Edited July 28, 2019 by Twizzlestick

[Inspire]

The fact he lied is a big deal, the fact he’s a creep - for lying is a big deal.

 

A ten year age gap a big deal? Whaat? I’m 39 ( a young looking and minded 39 year old) and on a date with a 29 year old today. She’s a professional, owns her own home. My last rele had a 9 year age gap and lasted a decade. It didn’t fail because of age gap. It was a successful rele until the end, more successful than a lot of so called perfect age gaps of mates who got divorced will inside that time.

 

Provided age is legal, who people choose to date is no one’s business really .

 

OP, this guy sounds dodgy as hell. Glad you steered well away.

 

Cool story? Glad it worked for you, but that doesn't mean a 10+ year gap isn't a big deal in terms of compatability or everyone would be married to people 10+years older or younger. It happens but its not quite as common as you think.

[Twizzlestick]

It was a relevant example, not sure about a cool story.

 

I didn’t say how common it was, but that doesn’t infer it’s a big deal. That said where I work (an airline) it’s incredibly common. I think it depends on where the age difference is seated. An 18-29 difference is poles apart from 29-39. In that instance as I said in my earlier post on this thread there are genuine factors to consider, emotional maturity being a huge one and where partners are both at in life - one wants to party, the other wants a shed type extremes.

 

But when both parties become older, people start to align more (in general) with their outlooks, maturity levels and aims. I think at that point, perceived issues as a whole are actually seated on social prejudice under the guise of there being actual “problems”.

 

I find incompatibility and compatibility with individuals regardless of their age, I’m not personal minded to start harvesting my options down if I meet someone ten years younger who I click with because of out dated 1950s social ideals. But that’s me. Funny thing I found an article on psychology today about age. Came across the age halved, minus 7 . Never heard of that ha

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201405/who-is-too-young-or-too-old-you-date

[Inspire]

My response was to the OP about the person lying about a 10+ year age gap. Cool story was a slight to your quoting me to tell me about someone you're dating/hooking up with that is younger then you. In the short term age is far less relevant for a lot of people. The OP's post was about someone lying about their age.

[introverted1]

So the guy didn't lie about a 10 year age gap.

 

 

 

He lied about being 10 years younger than his real age, which was an 18-year age gap.

 

 

 

And given that he's 40 and she's 22, pretty significant.

[schlumpy]

I just don't think his behavior is OK and that alone is such a letdown for me that I don't even know if I'll like him anyway.

 

I doubt he is having any change of heart. Your criticism of his character was like water off the back of a duck.

 

He will just ask someone else. If he has to ask ten times and only gets one girl to say yes, that's really all he needs.

 

Best Wishes

[fromheart]

Yeah move on. Besides him lying about his age, he's also apparently chasing very young women (who he knows would probably never go for a guy like him, someone almost twice their age)

 

Not sure about that. Im in my 40's and the most common age bracket of women that go for me are 18-23. Ironic since I don't actually chase them.

 

Lying is a deal breaker in a relationship, online is usually for hook ups so people come out with all sorts of nonsense to get what they want.

 

Age gaps are up to the consenting adults involved, and their business alone. If you think 20 is too young for a 40 year old, then don't date a 20 year old when your 40, and don't inflict your rules on others.

Edited July 30, 2019 by fromheart

[Versacehottie]

I doubt he is having any change of heart. Your criticism of his character was like water off the back of a duck.

 

He will just ask someone else. If he has to ask ten times and only gets one girl to say yes, that's really all he needs.

 

Best Wishes

 

I agree. I think he is playing the numbers game, i.e. throwing out his lie to as many as he can, knowing he will get away with it with a handful of those people--or at least hoping he will. That's why he reacted the way he did.

 

I think it's more important for you to be recognized as more than an "age group" and as an individual and this guy pretty much showed his hand of what is he is going for in terms of you just being a member of the age group and not an individual and lying his way into attractiveness (supposed) with the group. It's a limited mentality and at the best you would end up with a limited boyfriend or at worst, used and played with. It's no loss at all. TBH, any guy who reacted the way he did, is no loss at all.

[smackie9]

hahahaha he says you have a big ego hahahaha! Someone sure got butt hurt. I have a feeling this was his first attempt lying about his age on his profile, and he got you OP, calling him out on it. Too funny!

[Lamartine]

Do not waste your time on a liar. You are in the prime of your dating life in your late twenties. Don't waste those good years yearning for flawed men or overlooking glaring red flags. I did that, and I am back on the dating scene at almost 38 years old. Trust me, it's no more fun now than it was then.

 

Let's put the age issue aside. This guy's first interaction with you was dishonest. What he essentially said to you was: "I want a younger woman. I don't care about respecting that younger woman or treating her with honesty. I will lie to her to get what I want, and I don't care if someone else gets hurt in the process." His problem is CHARACTER, not AGE.

 

There are plenty of younger women willing to date older men. He should tell the truth and meet one of those. However, you are the one who matters here. I know it might hurt in the short term, but you will save yourself God knows how much pain in the long term if you identify red flags early and move on.

 

Good luck!

[Michelle ma Belle]

This is guy is a riot! Classic!

 

Lying about one's age is pretty common online.

 

I've gotten a ton of messages from men who claim they were in their 40's yet when I looked at their photos, they looked about as old as my oldest son who is 20. You know why? Because they were my son's age!!

 

All of them gave me the same line that they either didn't get along with women their age or just preferred older women. Translation? They all wanted their very own Mrs. Robinson experience (insert eye roll here).

 

On the flip side, I've seen women put themselves down for younger with often a disclaimer right in their profile letting men know they are actually older. Why? Because women of a certain age so often get filtered out of most men's searches because of the age cap they set for themselves.

 

The best are the ones who act like they have noooooo idea how their profile has them sitting at 10-15 years younger and they can't change it...yeah, riiiiiiiiiiight (insert a hard eye roll here).

 

 

Bottom line, at some point, men and women who've been doing online for a while will often resort to dramatic measures to increase their pool of options be them age appropriate or not.

 

Welcome to online dating folks

[kendahke]

He than replied and told me that there are a lot of girls that don't react like I do and that they don't care that he changes his age.

 

He's lying about that, too... he doesn't have a lot of girls--else he wouldn't have dealt with you if his dance card was hoppin' like that. And the type of dysfunctional "pick me" girls who don't mind liars are the best he's going to get... like attracts like.

 

That I seem to overreact and that it stems from my big ego that was shattered (?). He then deleted me. Omg, this guy has some issues. Lol

 

He sure is butt-hurt, isn't he? His game got peeped, you handed him back his behind--let him go take his lies elsewhere.

 

You dodged a large mortar round, let alone a bullet. Bet he's drippin' with STD's.

[smackie9]

 

I've gotten a ton of messages from men who claim they were in their 40's yet when I looked at their photos, they looked about as old as my oldest son who is 20. You know why? Because they were my son's age!!

 

Ha they all must have watched The Graduate

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

I've always wondered about this tactic, because I would THINK that men who like younger women would want to look for women like me instead of effectively disqualifying themselves by pretending to be in my age bracket.

 

Exactly!!!!!