Am I stupid

[KayNGee]

I previously posted about a friend, shortly after that event he got a new job working for an airline as a area manager in the far east. (I'm in the UK)

 

We've talked a lot on Skype, like several times a day. I said I loved him and he said he does too but he wants to say it to my face.

 

I really do love him. now this is where people are telling me I am stupid.

 

I want to book a flight to where he is stationed, book a hotel just in case (or we can just stay there) and go over and just be with him, I truly love him and I feel its the same back. I just want to wake up next to him, Not on Skype or anything, actually in the same building.

 

Am I crazy? Or should I go for it? I really want to go for it. I know I have my allergies and I'll have to be extra careful, but I want to know if it's meant to be.

[Redhead14]

He's the one who works for an airline . . . let him book a flight to come see you. You would be beyond stupid to travel to a foreign country alone to visit a virtual stranger. I don't care how long you've been skyping and chatting, etc. You do not know this guy PERIOD. I would discourage you from being alone with a man you met locally for the first time let alone going to a foreign country.

[crystallake]

I completely agree with Redhead14. Let him come to you and make sure when he does you are in a safe place. You never know with people you meet online. Don't do it.

[KayNGee]

He's the one who works for an airline . . . let him book a flight to come see you. You would be beyond stupid to travel to a foreign country alone to visit a virtual stranger. I don't care how long you've been skyping and chatting, etc. You do not know this guy PERIOD. I would discourage you from being alone with a man you met locally for the first time let alone going to a foreign country.

 

I've known him for 2 years in person. He left the UK to go work for the airline.

I saw him at Christmas.

[Redhead14]

I've known him for 2 years in person. He left the UK to go work for the airline.

I saw him at Christmas.

 

 

He works for an airline, let him come to you . . .

[The Outlaw]

Have you two ever dated previously?

[KayNGee]

Have you two ever dated previously?

 

No. we spent some amazing days together.

 

I want to surprise him, I have some leave coming up and thought it would be perfect to get a cheap flight and surprise him

[preraph]

What do you mean you didn't date but spent amazing days together? This sounds like it's not even gotten off the ground other than you telling him you love him, which even friends do. Of course you shouldn't go making plans. You haven't even dated yet. He needs to make an effort to date you before you're in a romantic relationship.

[Beendaredonedat]

I would be very upset if I was him. You are assuming that he would want you to come????

 

Please... just suggest to him that he come visit you on his next furlow... He can fly to you for under a $100.00 if he works for an airline.

 

If he makes excuses not to come on his next opportunity to do so then you are in a one sided relationship... or at the very least, you're not on the same page romantically.

[Normm]

Not all surprises are good surprises.

[spiderowl]

He could have easily visited you if he had wanted to. Has he ever suggested that?

 

I expect you will do what you want to do, but please be safe. I would take the advice of posters here and not go to a foreign country on the off-chance that he would be pleased to be surprised.

 

How do you know he hasn't got another girlfriend where he is?

 

It sounds like you are rather impulsive and someone who follows her heart. These can be great qualities but you need to let them work FOR you not AGAINST you. Do not take risks and let him come to you.

[Arieswoman]

KayNGee,

You're not stupid but I think you're either deluded or infatuated.

 

 

Please do not put yourself at risk by taking this crazy trip.

 

 

 

Let him come to you if he wants.

 

 

Actions speak louder than words.

[KayNGee]

Wow so many replies!

 

What do you mean you didn't date but spent amazing days together? This sounds like it's not even gotten off the ground other than you telling him you love him, which even friends do. Of course you shouldn't go making plans. You haven't even dated yet. He needs to make an effort to date you before you're in a romantic relationship.

 

I've spent full days/nights with him, Yes I've done day trips with friends but never ended up in the same bed .

 

I would be very upset if I was him. You are assuming that he would want you to come????

 

Please... just suggest to him that he come visit you on his next furlow... He can fly to you for under a $100.00 if he works for an airline.

 

If he makes excuses not to come on his next opportunity to do so then you are in a one sided relationship... or at the very least, you're not on the same page romantically.

 

He has previously asked me to come, He has said to give him dates when I am on leave and he would come over and "Do all the things [he] should have done ages ago" when asked he would say "I want to take this girl out, you might know her, she's called [my name]. You see I messed up first time trying to take her on a date. So I'm going to try again and spoil her". It does appear we are on the same page romantically.

 

He could have easily visited you if he had wanted to. Has he ever suggested that?

 

I expect you will do what you want to do, but please be safe. I would take the advice of posters here and not go to a foreign country on the off-chance that he would be pleased to be surprised.

 

How do you know he hasn't got another girlfriend where he is?

 

It sounds like you are rather impulsive and someone who follows her heart. These can be great qualities but you need to let them work FOR you not AGAINST you. Do not take risks and let him come to you.

 

He has come over to visit me, Back in April. He mentioned he was at his Airlines head office and he had some leave scheduled after. He suggested he would fly from his airlines head office to see me in the UK. I agreed however it was me that had to cancel when he was here as a show my employer was going to be at was moved. He did come and support me at that. I felt really bad we couldn't spend the days together. We spent the nights together which were good. I'm scared of asking him to come over because of this incident. I don't want him thinking I'm wasting his time.

 

From the amount of time we spend talking to each other and what he has said, I don't think he has another girlfriend.

 

KayNGee,

You're not stupid but I think you're either deluded or infatuated.

 

 

Please do not put yourself at risk by taking this crazy trip.

 

 

 

Let him come to you if he wants.

 

 

Actions speak louder than words.

 

I agree, He has come over. He has said if I want to go where his airlines head office is when he is over we can have a mini city break. He has made loads of effort with me. I've got some leave coming up. I don't really want to say "Hey I got this time" he comes over and I go "Sorry got to work". I would love to say "I can come over to you" or "We can meet at your hub city" (He calls where the airline is based a hub or hub city).

 

If it works out, great if not I know.

[chillii]

Ahhhh, in that case just do it.

l wouldn't surprise him though run it by him first just to be sure. l know that'll take some shine off it but think it'd be best.

lf it's any consolation my gf flew cross the world to meet me.

Anyway , you know it might all still be there and get stronger than ever orrrrr, it might not. Either way though at least you'll know.

[Maddie82]

There is no long term future with this man. The career he has chosen will take him to many different places for long periods of time. As you can gather from almost every response here, it is not a good idea to travel alone to see him when there is no guarantee that he will even have the time to see you. I think people are right that you are infatuated and not thinking clearly about this.

Edited July 30, 2019 by Maddie82

[Caauug]

I would say yes, let him know when you can come though. You will want his help in the planning as he is the reason you are going there. Go with your gut feelings.

 

There are no guarantees in life, life is what YOU make of it. The last thing you want is thinking back as an old person on "What if's".

 

 

For those people saying stay at home he MIGHT be a bad person, well the serial killer that MIGHT live up street MIGHT visit you also.

 

Hey 20 years ago I flew to the other side of the world to be with a girl, I still live there. You never know if you do not have a go!!

[clia]

No. we spent some amazing days together.

 

I want to surprise him, I have some leave coming up and thought it would be perfect to get a cheap flight and surprise him

 

Why does it have to be a surprise? Why don't you tell him your leave dates and ask if you can come and visit him? If he loves you as much as you think he does, he should welcome you with open arms.

 

I honestly think showing up on someone's doorstep as a "surprise" is a terrible idea.

[KayNGee]

I know it seems I am infatuated, I love him to bits. I do just want to be with him.

 

I spoke to him on skype. I asked if I could visit and he seemed well up for it. Asked what dates I was thinking. He sent me his availability and told me to let him know and he'll book it off.

 

He also sent me this number to put in to the airlines website, it tries and books me a business seat. He said he gets so many family flights so I might as well use them to see him.

 

He said he can arrange some activities. I don't mind, I just want to be with him.

 

Also, if he is paying for my plane ticket (by working for the airline) should I get him something as a thank you.

[Normm]

Also, if he is paying for my plane ticket (by working for the airline) should I get him something as a thank you.

 

 

Take him out to a nice dinner.

[KayNGee]

Take him out to a nice dinner.

 

Thats an idea. No idea where though!

[Normm]

Ask him to pick a place.

[KayNGee]

There is no long term future with this man. The career he has chosen will take him to many different places for long periods of time. As you can gather from almost every response here, it is not a good idea to travel alone to see him when there is no guarantee that he will even have the time to see you. I think people are right that you are infatuated and not thinking clearly about this.

 

He has said where ever he is he will always let me know. They are happy with where he is, He has said he only comes back to the UK for me, He has no family as such.

 

We've spoke and he has sent me his schedule. So are you saying I should not go?

[Normm]

So are you saying I should not go?

 

You like him, he likes you and you both want to meet up in his country. You are going to consider cancelling your trip because some random poster who doesn't know either one of you says it's not a good idea?

[KayNGee]

You like him, he likes you and you both want to meet up in his country. You are going to consider cancelling your trip because some random poster who doesn't know either one of you says it's not a good idea?

 

No, I'm definately going, I just want to hear why

[Maddie82]

He has said where ever he is he will always let me know. They are happy with where he is, He has said he only comes back to the UK for me, He has no family as such.

 

We've spoke and he has sent me his schedule. So are you saying I should not go?

 

I'm not telling you what to do (as another posted rudely suggested). I am simply giving my opinion. You love each other and that's great, but all i'm saying is that it will always be a long distance relationship which will require allot of travelling costing allot of money. He career can be quite demanding so he may not always have a great deal of time. It's bound to take it's toll eventually. That's all I'm saying. People don't have to be rude about it.