Patrice Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 I have not been in touch with this man in two years. He has been blocked on my e-mail accounts at work and home, from my phone. I got a text from a number I did not recognize on Monday - it was him. He told me that he is divorced and has sold his home. Then proceeded to tell me that he is involved with a much younger woman, and he is happy and in love and all about their fantastic sex life. He sent me pictures of her. This was his pattern throughout our brief time together - I have been divorced for ten years, and am dating, enjoying my life and my career. I said, why are you contacting me? He responded that he just wanted to say "hi". I told him please do not contact me again. Why would he be texting me, if he is involved and in love with another woman? I have my own thoughts, but would appreciate some insight. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Weird! It sounds like a 'look how successful I am now, free and with an attractive woman' - don't you wish you were with me? I don't know what happened in your relationship with him but he appears to be trying to make you jealous. He is even getting round blocking to do it. Sounds an awful person to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 I said, why are you contacting me? He responded that he just wanted to say "hi". You know, of course, that he says not texting you to say “hi.” If he was, he could just say “hi, hope you are well.” He doesn’t have to share pictures of the “much younger woman” he I said dating or tell you all about their “fantastic sex life.” He is not reaching out to be polite, to ask how you are doing, to catch up on old times... He is bragging. He is simply stroking his own ego - which will get a particular boost if he gets a response from you. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Nice guy. It would only serve to remind me how grateful I would feel to have this jerk out of my life... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 sure if what he is saying is true, nor do I really care. If he is with a new woman, and repeating the pattern of what he did to me? Why would someone who is evidently over the moon in a new relationship, even bother? He was all about compliance, and control - which would never work for me. He is no prize, and was a serial cheater in his marriage, which I found out later. I think very low self esteem, making stuff up to just try to hurt me. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 (edited) Why would someone who is evidently over the moon in a new relationship, even bother? He was all about compliance, and control. He was a serial cheater in his marriage. I think very low self esteem, making stuff up to just try to hurt me. He has low self esteem? No. He has poor character. This behavior is in keeping with his character - you have seen this before, in a different way, have you not? Lying, manipulating, sneaking around, putting you down (rubbing the hot young girlfriend in your face) for his enjoyment, and stroking his ego at your expense. Why would he even bother? Because he can. Because, he knows he can get to you. Because, that is enjoyable in some twisted way for him. It matters not that he is in a new relationship, he is a serial cheater - the current relationship is rather inconsequential. If he hasn’t respected other partners, he’s certainly not going to respect this one. Edited July 31, 2019 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 jealous, and would be upset if she knew he was in touch. I think he is totally just making it up. He seems to thrive on making people jealous, I heard the pattern when I was around him, and we live in different states. He got a chuckle out of seducing women, and having them fight over him. I feel sorry for her, she's in for a heck of a ride with this creep. And, I feel sorrier for the wife he had for 37 years, who had no career because he wanted her submissive and at home. I'm thinking he may be a narcissist, doesn't care what he does to others. Anyway, the new number is blocked again - if he tries again, I will get a restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted July 31, 2019 Author Share Posted July 31, 2019 again. Probably a new sidechick ... what a sad person. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 So he’s still just a predictable liar... Be glad you got rid of him. His communication wasn’t designed to say “hi”! Not one bit. I’d send a solid note to his home address. I bet he’s not divorced either. His wife needs to know what great lengths he goes to in contacting you. Let her know you also plan to file a restraining order when he does it again. Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 Wow, what a jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
heartwhole2 Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 I shudder to think of being an oblivious woman dating a newly divorced man, only to have him texting the woman he cheated with his wife on to talk about our "fantastic sex life." Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted July 31, 2019 Share Posted July 31, 2019 OP, what are your thoughts? Are you affected by his contacting you again, other than anger and annoyance at him? If he weren't contacting you and being a major jerk, but instead, if he had let you know that he's divorced and would you be willing to consider being with him, would that have change the narrative here? Or did you two ended on a very sour note that getting back together is not even an option (if he was single). He sounds like a pathological liar though. Sorry he's bothering you. Absolutely block him. Link to post Share on other sites
LIRR88 Posted August 1, 2019 Share Posted August 1, 2019 again. Probably a new sidechick ... what a sad person. Wow what a loser! Let his new booty call deal with that hot mess, you did good by blocking him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted August 1, 2019 Author Share Posted August 1, 2019 wasn't a typical OW scenario. I met him 4 times in 10 years ... every time was a disappointment to me. I think he strings people along for some reason, I was open with him about my divorce and the other things that make a person vulnerable at the time. I thought he was a good friend at the time I was going through my divorce. He has never been here, or made an attempt at coming here. I am well-educated, he is not, so that was thrown in my face multiple times. It was not going to be, in my rational head a good person to spend my life with. Nor, with the latest in the continuing saga of trying to make me jealous, anyone I would care to live my life with. I am disappointed in the person I thought was a good friend, he would not fit into my world, and would not understand it. I think he is a consummate liar, I think he takes pictures of women he has been with, had sent them multiple times in the past 10 years, I would never send any pictures. So, I believe I got duped, and this is a learning lesson and has been for me. I could never accept a man into my life who plays games like this, just not for me. Link to post Share on other sites
karmaisabitotch Posted August 2, 2019 Share Posted August 2, 2019 He's an arrogant a**hole, he tried to make you feeling bad for ending the A. You just laugh at him and feel sorry for his desperate a**. You may consider to change your phone number so he won't find away to contact you again with all of his bullsh*t fantasy just to get you back. I would if I were you. Take a good care of you dear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I think he strings people along for some reason, That's all it is. It's like his own private parade and he feeds off the self-indulgence he gets from riding on the main float. The problem with your response is he now knows how to march this parade of sh*t past you. Best if you never acknowledge it, let him think the reviewing stand is empty and he'll move on to the next spectator. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 wasn't a typical OW scenario. I met him 4 times in 10 years ... every time was a disappointment to me. I think he strings people along for some reason, I was open with him about my divorce and the other things that make a person vulnerable at the time. I thought he was a good friend at the time I was going through my divorce. He has never been here, or made an attempt at coming here. I am well-educated, he is not, so that was thrown in my face multiple times. It was not going to be, in my rational head a good person to spend my life with. Nor, with the latest in the continuing saga of trying to make me jealous, anyone I would care to live my life with. I am disappointed in the person I thought was a good friend, he would not fit into my world, and would not understand it. I think he is a consummate liar, I think he takes pictures of women he has been with, had sent them multiple times in the past 10 years, I would never send any pictures. So, I believe I got duped, and this is a learning lesson and has been for me. I could never accept a man into my life who plays games like this, just not for me. You knew he was married. Can I ask why you even got involved with him in the first place? Did he lie to you about his marital status? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 You wasted 10 YEARS on a man that was mainly concerned with getting his ego fed? Why would you do that to yourself? Be glad it’s over!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Swingen Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 (edited) It's funny how some people (regardless of how awful they are) can get under one's skin. Anyone from the outside looking in can see how awful this person is, you know how awful he is. Yet, people like that are like an itch we can't scratch. A few average meets over 10 years, 2 years no contact and he still has the ability to send your brain spinning (you've come on here to vent and question, which if he had no effect on you, you wouldn't do.) From what you've said about this guy, my advice would be to block any messages, not reply and have nothing to do with him. I'd also advise not wasting any thoughts about "why he did this or why did he do that?". If he pops into your head, take a walk, think of something else, don't dwell. Even messaging on here is you wasting your time on this A. Just walk away and don't look back. Edited August 6, 2019 by Swingen bad spelling, punctuation 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted September 2, 2019 Author Share Posted September 2, 2019 I have a friend in the CIA, got his wife's name, his address, found out he lied about the divorce, had sent pictures of a woman from porn hub. I simply wrote back that he needs to leave me alone and that he is being watched. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Why are you wasting one more second on this guy? What did you plan to do with his info? Consider it over and move forward... stop wasting any thoughts/energy on this dude. It’s over! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 I have a friend in the CIA, got his wife's name, his address, found out he lied about the divorce, had sent pictures of a woman from porn hub. I simply wrote back that he needs to leave me alone and that he is being watched. Why do you keep responding to him? Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Rather than asking your friend not to risk his job by having him share this guy's perosnal and private information, why can;t you just block him? He doesn't control your behavior and how you respond to him. That's on you. He can't get under your skin if you refuse to allow it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Patrice Posted September 19, 2019 Author Share Posted September 19, 2019 me, the last being sending porn photos to my work. I think he is a narcissist and he has been discarded. I will protect myself and my work and my family. If I choose to play hardball with this creep, I will do so. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 20, 2019 Share Posted September 20, 2019 File a restraining order and have it served on him at home! That way he will be forced to stop bothering you! Also it alerts his wife! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted September 21, 2019 Share Posted September 21, 2019 You, a woman who is better educated than he, and better in other ways, hurt his pride by calling off your relationship with him. He's still trying to regain control. He went way out of his way to contact you and tell his lies. I hope he doesn't begin to stalk you. In a way, he has stalked you by figuring out how to get around your block. Seems to me he could be a scary sort of a person. Link to post Share on other sites
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