spiderowl Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I can see all the reasoning for no contact and I agree with it. I do think, however, that she needs to let him know it's over, otherwise he is just going to be confused about why she is distant. One text to make it clear it is over and he should not contact her is all that is needed. Leaving him uncertain about what has happened is not going to stop him trying to contact her. Once it is clear, he has no excuse for getting in touch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan4321 Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 Thanks for the advice to go NC and I was inclined to do that as feeling angry but on reflection I have to agree with schlumpy and spiderowl. Sent email this morning to make it clear to him that I don't want him to contact me. I hope he doesn't reply but what ever reply he sends wont matter as I'm not going to be guilt tripped anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan4321 Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 OP feeling guilt is what he wants you to feel...it's about control. He's been gaslighting you long enough.....making you feel you the one making the mistakes, it's all in your head, guilting you out.....as you pull back he's gonna push. Push him BACK...block/delete and look the other way. I sort of knew this, helpful to have it said to me. It helps for it to sink in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan4321 Posted August 10, 2019 Author Share Posted August 10, 2019 Like others here I wonder how long the distress continues. Had email today. Can't just get them to go to junk. I check my junk file due to having important emails going there in the past. I will ignore it but it brings back doubting feelings. He wants to discuss how we both feel. Reading through my thread helps and brings me back to my resolve of no contact. Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 Like others here I wonder how long the distress continues. Had email today. Can't just get them to go to junk. I check my junk file due to having important emails going there in the past. I will ignore it but it brings back doubting feelings. He wants to discuss how we both feel. Reading through my thread helps and brings me back to my resolve of no contact. Stay strong you’re doing the right thing. It’s a long road but all of us here will support you. I encourage you to post to some of the NC threads in the coping section. A lot of people there have had similar experiences and can relate well. You said you needed a strong arm of support so just if you get stressed post here as much as you want and I’m sure someone will get back to you soon. Sorry for the tough time you’re going through. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 Wish him the best. That's gotta be a joke. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 That's gotta be a joke. I guess she could look at it that way. It's language designed to not give him a reason to challenge her. If she said what she really felt then the conversation would likely continue and that's not what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author megan4321 Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 Megan send him a no contact letter or message. Make it clear you are through and moving on. You do not need to talk things out. Wish him the best. Make it a generic as possible and do not list the reasons why. He will only want to argue about it point by point. That way he doesn't have a defensible excuse for showing up like saying he was concerned for your welfare. Well that sort of hasn't worked. He has being pushing to continue to the point I felt I had to communicate with him to reiterate that I have ended the relationship. His response was to say 'well thank you for your honesty, I thought we were a couple still' Couldn't help myself replying ' I have always being honest with you but you haven't listened'. I would of liked to have said more but no good would come of it. Just having a rant as I can't believe he is still pushing to continue a relationship. He must see me as a really weak person (rightly so, as I have been). Link to post Share on other sites
Tamfana Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 (edited) Well that sort of hasn't worked. He has being pushing to continue to the point I felt I had to communicate with him to reiterate that I have ended the relationship. His response was to say 'well thank you for your honesty, I thought we were a couple still' Couldn't help myself replying ' I have always being honest with you but you haven't listened'. I would of liked to have said more but no good would come of it. Just having a rant as I can't believe he is still pushing to continue a relationship. He must see me as a really weak person (rightly so, as I have been). "I thought we were a couple still" after you ended it? Hm. Are there intellectual deficiencies there? heh. Stay strong. Block him. Dance to your favorite music, even if it's from when you were 10. Or dance to angry country western breakup music. (endorphins). Edited August 23, 2019 by Tamfana 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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