usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 And what exactly does he do with that info? If they are not his then he knows his wife is a cheater. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 You see a female always knows that a child is hers. Unfortunately a husband or bf never really knows, it is just assumed. It all depends on how morally bankrupt his wife is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Do you use a crystal ball? Not the only one here using a crystal ball though am I? Merely trying to introduce some balance into this witch hunt... This woman would have been burnt at the stake by now along with her kids, had some on here got their way... I get it, some are very angry with their own "cheater", but all we have atm is some woman talking to an ex on SM... Some perspective needed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) If they are not his then he knows his wife is a cheater. And that he was cheated out of a helluva lot more than a faithful spouse. It's the worst imaginable for a man who loves his kids. Just creating the circumstances where he is now unsure if they are his is egregious. Edited August 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I have read through the thread and it doesn't seem like the OP is going to do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 The relationship with her ex is not a secret. The OP has known about for a very long time. He has access to her phone, and always has. He does not appear to have good communication with his wife - he prefers reading her text messages when she leaves her phone lying around. He's always hated this guy, so his insecurity is obvious. Stalking the wife will end his marriage even if he finds she's been faithful. Make no mistake about the direction people are giving him - you want him to be a hunter, his wife the prey, and his children a weapon. Good luck with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I have read through the thread and it doesn't seem like the OP is going to do anything. He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Not the only one here using a crystal ball though am I? Merely trying to introduce some balance into this witch hunt... This woman would have been burnt at the stake by now along with her kids, had some on here got their way... I get it, some are very angry with their own "cheater", but all we have atm is some woman talking to an ex on SM... Some perspective needed. I have never been cheated on. My mom cheated on my dad when I was 4. He divorced her. I never heard a word against my mom from him. She never had anything good to say about him. I love both my parents. But I have seen first hand how snake like some men and women can be. It’s sin now and ask forgiveness later or they just don’t give a damn. And no one has said anything about burning them at the stake. Every husband and wife has the right to know the truth about their relationship, if one is cheating or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Their is only one reason to invite an ex over when the husband is at work and she did the inviting. That would be enough for me. It’s on thing to meet up at work or hotel but to bring the OM to her home shows complete disregard and respect for OP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. So you think he will be happy staying with a lying wife that has cheated on him? It was an EA at the least, more then likely a PA as well. And why would he be alone after the divorce, 50/50 custody of the kids and finding another woman one day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Funny thing, my dad found happiness again. my mom never remarried and is living alone with her cats that she says she hates Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Is there a chance to save this marriage, yes. Only if his wife is completely honest with him. I don’t think she is capable of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. The proof is in the text messages that talked about sleeping together, then she invited him into their home while OP was at work. It's pretty evident what went on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beaver0273 Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 The proof is in the text messages that talked about sleeping together, then she invited him into their home while OP was at work. It's pretty evident what went on. I do want to say that the times I do know of her in inviting him, the kids were there as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I do want to say that the times I do know of her in inviting him, the kids were there as well. What is your wife's response to this situation? Is she attempting to get you to move on? Is she saying things like, "It's been two weeks, get over it already." Is she being extra nice and thoughtful? Are you finding your favorite meal served on more regular basis? Are you experiencing the best sex of your entire marriage? How is she handling this? Best Wishes Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I do want to say that the times I do know of her in inviting him, the kids were there as well. Let's hope it's not because they are his. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I do want to say that the times I do know of her in inviting him, the kids were there as well. All the more reason for DNA tests. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 OP - a question. IF it turns out that all there is evidence for is an EA (which you already know happened) but NO firm evidence that a PA ever happened, do you know what you intend to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beaver0273 Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 What is your wife's response to this situation? Is she attempting to get you to move on? Is she saying things like, "It's been two weeks, get over it already." Is she being extra nice and thoughtful? Are you finding your favorite meal served on more regular basis? Are you experiencing the best sex of your entire marriage? How is she handling this? Best Wishes She is trying to convince me to stay. Being extra nice and thoughtful since it came out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beaver0273 Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 OP - a question. IF it turns out that all there is evidence for is an EA (which you already know happened) but NO firm evidence that a PA ever happened, do you know what you intend to do? No firm evidence. Says it never went that far. I dont know what I'm doing yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 She is trying to convince me to stay. Being extra nice and thoughtful since it came out. She's in self protection mode. Usually that doesn't last. You need to recover her deleted text messages. It's almost impossible to live without the truth. You will not get that from her without proof. If it's what it sounds like all cheaters lie a lot. Rugsweeping is disastrous long term 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 No firm evidence. Says it never went that far. I dont know what I'm doing yet. Her behavior is your evidence. Were this innocent she would be very angry at you. A real good woman would at first reassure you that nothing was going on, but would eventually get angry. Her being extra nice and trying to convince you to stay is guilty behavior. Listen many if not most posting on your thread has been where you are at this very moment. Unfortunately for us men, we tend to not react, we tend to sit around until we simply can no longer avoid what our guts are telling us what is our new truth. That just allows them to easily manipulate and gaslight us. Your wife had an affair, a very long very sexual relationship with this guy. I think you would serve yourself well to start taking strong actions. I'm not sure what those actions look like in you case. Me, if I had it to do all over again I would have proceeded to filing right away. I've learned that once they realize there is no room for BS you dont get any. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I do want to say that the times I do know of her in inviting him, the kids were there as well. That has not stop others from having sex when the kids are home. All she had to do is put them down for a nap or playing in the playroom and they go have their 15 to 30 minutes of fun Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 She is trying to convince me to stay. Being extra nice and thoughtful since it came out. Sounds like you are not really prepared to actually do anything about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 One husband came home early from work one day to surprise his wife and take her out for lunch with the kids. When he got there the kids were down to sleep and she was locked in his office with the other man it took her 5 to 10 minutes to open the door when he started beating on it. Link to post Share on other sites
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