elaine567 Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 And he needs evidence those 3 kids are actually his biologically. And what exactly does he do with that info? Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Make an informed decision 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beaver0273 Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 May be a dumb question but is there s recommendation on a voice activated recorder? Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 sony ICDPX312 or ICDPX333 voice activated recorders. Best Buy sells them for like 50 bucks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 Make sure you turn off all beeps, or just stick an earbud plug into the socket, with the buds cut off of course. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 May be a dumb question but is there s recommendation on a voice activated recorder? Sony makes top rated one for a fair price. Google them. Get the good batteries. It's best to get 2 so you can swap them out. If you're putting it in her care get some Velcro for fastening. Keep your mouth shut, eyes and ears open. Sorry man Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 OP is not damaging or blowing up his marriage. His wife's actions are. You don't have a window to any knowledge about that, and your advocating aggression against the wife on the basis of your own personal history. It's getting harder to tell what's really going on here - is it a wayward wife or controlling husband? They are both equally capable of bringing a relationship to the point described herein. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 With a Voice Activated Recorder you are essentially doing nothing, just standing by waiting for her to cheat, and then pouncing at the opportunity to crush her. Doesn't sound like much of a plan, and doesn't sound like someone who's marriage material. Be careful what you wish for. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Controlling husband who knows his wife has been carrying on a secret relationship with her ex for their entire relationship and done nothing..I dont think that would be anyone's idea of a controlling husband 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Controlling husband who knows his wife has been carrying on a secret relationship with her ex for their entire relationship and done nothing..I dont think that would be anyone's idea of a controlling husband You would have to try really hard to ignore that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) I'm disgusted by the posts which point the finger at the OP. Based on what he has shared, his wife is stepping out on him. Even if the OP has not been the best husband or his wife is unhappy, cheating is not excusable nor is it a productive way of solving marital issues. Edited August 5, 2019 by BettyDraper 4 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 My thoughts. Woman at home with three very small children. Tired, bored, feeling unwanted and unloved. Little or no sleep. No real adult conversation. A baby making machine. Trapped. Depressed. Ex Fiance enters the scene. Interesting, exciting, reminds her of happier times. No doubt he lays the compliments on thick. She has purpose and meaning to her life again. She looks forward to his messages, a ray of light in a dull world... In March something happened, not sure what but messaging stops... She returns to the fold. Is this a hill to die on? It is amazing how you know exactly how she feels. I do know women that are like this. I also know women that thrive on being a mom. The fact that you know her husband made her feel unloved, not cared for and just a baby making machine is amazing. Do you use a crystal ball? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 And what exactly does he do with that info? If they are not his then he knows his wife is a cheater. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 You see a female always knows that a child is hers. Unfortunately a husband or bf never really knows, it is just assumed. It all depends on how morally bankrupt his wife is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Do you use a crystal ball? Not the only one here using a crystal ball though am I? Merely trying to introduce some balance into this witch hunt... This woman would have been burnt at the stake by now along with her kids, had some on here got their way... I get it, some are very angry with their own "cheater", but all we have atm is some woman talking to an ex on SM... Some perspective needed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) If they are not his then he knows his wife is a cheater. And that he was cheated out of a helluva lot more than a faithful spouse. It's the worst imaginable for a man who loves his kids. Just creating the circumstances where he is now unsure if they are his is egregious. Edited August 5, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator rude 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I have read through the thread and it doesn't seem like the OP is going to do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 The relationship with her ex is not a secret. The OP has known about for a very long time. He has access to her phone, and always has. He does not appear to have good communication with his wife - he prefers reading her text messages when she leaves her phone lying around. He's always hated this guy, so his insecurity is obvious. Stalking the wife will end his marriage even if he finds she's been faithful. Make no mistake about the direction people are giving him - you want him to be a hunter, his wife the prey, and his children a weapon. Good luck with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I have read through the thread and it doesn't seem like the OP is going to do anything. He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Not the only one here using a crystal ball though am I? Merely trying to introduce some balance into this witch hunt... This woman would have been burnt at the stake by now along with her kids, had some on here got their way... I get it, some are very angry with their own "cheater", but all we have atm is some woman talking to an ex on SM... Some perspective needed. I have never been cheated on. My mom cheated on my dad when I was 4. He divorced her. I never heard a word against my mom from him. She never had anything good to say about him. I love both my parents. But I have seen first hand how snake like some men and women can be. It’s sin now and ask forgiveness later or they just don’t give a damn. And no one has said anything about burning them at the stake. Every husband and wife has the right to know the truth about their relationship, if one is cheating or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Their is only one reason to invite an ex over when the husband is at work and she did the inviting. That would be enough for me. It’s on thing to meet up at work or hotel but to bring the OM to her home shows complete disregard and respect for OP 3 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. So you think he will be happy staying with a lying wife that has cheated on him? It was an EA at the least, more then likely a PA as well. And why would he be alone after the divorce, 50/50 custody of the kids and finding another woman one day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Funny thing, my dad found happiness again. my mom never remarried and is living alone with her cats that she says she hates Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Is there a chance to save this marriage, yes. Only if his wife is completely honest with him. I don’t think she is capable of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Maddie82 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 He has too much to lose here and there is no "proof" that this went any further than just texting. Is he going to blow up his and his kid's world for a few texts? NO. Cost benefit analysis. Home, wife and kids usually wins. Divorce - alone, poorer and sadder in an apartment, no way. The proof is in the text messages that talked about sleeping together, then she invited him into their home while OP was at work. It's pretty evident what went on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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