she did a 180 breakup

[songeln]

im so broken hearted i feel like its killing me, man my hair is even falling out. trying to understand what has happened.

 

me and my ex girlfriend were together for a long time, many years, we had a family and friends and a home and a toddler.

 

life was not perfect, but it was good.

 

over the years my ex started picking fights with me. just over anything and everything, it didnt add up.

 

but during our breakup, it was like she had a mental break down or a quarter life crisis or something. spiraling out of control and i know that it wasnt normal behavior.

 

i remember she went on medication to help with her anxiety. not sure what type, i dont know if it has anything to do with it , but it made her drowzy at night, made her aloof. and kind of care free.

 

anyways , she broke up with me. we loved eachother like crazy. and when she broke up , she was angry , explotion of anger. almost like making up stories in her head that were not even true or events that never happened to have a reason to break up.

 

during this time things were crazy, she started selling everything in our house and re arranged everything to look different, everyroom in the house she moved around so that it looked different.

 

any interaction with her was awful , she couldnt stop being angry, could not stop yelling, and the calmer i was with her, or that more i tried to talk about problems , the more angry she got.

 

she then went our bashing me and spreading lies about me to everyone, i still never played into this game. just shocked and confused why she turned on me and is acting so sadistic.

 

i know now she wants full control over me. she wants to rampage but will not let me move on. she keeps me on the side for either financial support or someone to yell at, i told her i wanted to cut all ties and move on, this made her angry and caused threats and also her using our child against me.

 

i begged her lots to not leave me again, and yes this is the second time this happened, the sudden black white behavior where one day your their best friend and the next they are over you and are moving on and hate you.

 

to be honest, there probably is another man, because the first time we broke up there was. so she probably did this to me twice and is trying to justify her actions by making herself believe her own lies.

 

and me trying to understand why she would trade love for lust. well , i think shes a narcissist. and i think they get bored. i think that they are sex addicts, i think that she knows the pain she has caused me , and she sees that as a weakness. maybe this is how she was raised, cheated and moving on is a normality to her. i dont know, all i know is im having a hard time moving on because she just wont let me.

 

has anyone experienced this, can you tell me your story, did you ever get answers or explanations?

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you spoken to a lawyer? You need to do that, first and foremost, to work out a formal custody arrangement. She cannot legally keep your child from you.

 

Any chance she's been taking recreational drugs?

[Maddie82]

I totally agree with Expat, speak to a lawyer. She has committed adultery and sounds like a real danger to both you and your child. There are definite issues going on with her and you need to take some control for the sake of your child. He/she is in the middle of all of this and it isn't fair for him/her to be used as a pawn by her. Her behavior is out of order. Stand your ground. Don't let her control you. You are your own person. Take action for you are your child.

Edited August 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[schlumpy]

Please call it quits.

 

I have stopped finding it surprising for the poster to solve their own problem. I was getting to the end of your post when you insert infidelity. It was one of the reasons I was going point out. Some people in affairs are being tortured by their conscience and they do things to drive their SO away. Usually it works but you are a hard case.

 

Please take your wonderful loyalty and bestow on a more worthy object of affection.

 

You can't save the one you are with. You can go down with her though. As noted by others she more then likely has organic mental problems. I doubt very much that she is who you think she is.

 

Look up the 180 and start applying yesterday. You can't be nice or understanding and hope to solve this situation. It never works unless you are willing to sacrifice your own happiness as she spins though life like the blades on a blender.

 

See a lawyer. If infidelity counts for anything in your state get the goods on her. Cancel the credit cards and any old joint accounts. Take a stand not only for yourself but for your child.

 

Best Wishes

[Maddie82]

Nothing the OP has written indicates his ex gf is actually psychotic.

 

Screaming and yelling for no reason. Very angry for no reason. Rearranging the whole house for no reason. Something is wrong with her.

[schlumpy]

Nothing the OP has written indicates his ex gf is actually psychotic.

 

Duly noted Elaine but I had the feeling that she was driven and compelled to do some of the things he described. That tipped me in the direction of some kind of mental condition like bi-polar.

 

I see you beat me again to the post by 12 mins. Must be the time zones.

 

 

Best Wishes

[Matt77]

Elaine is right. This is more like sociopathy. Some people don't know that a psychopath is born and a sociopath is made. This doesn't mean she is a certified sociopath. But she does seem to be displaying narcissistic and sociopathic behavior.

 

The same thing happened to me with my STBEW. The first time it happened we were engaged. And the second time happened just last year. 10 years between each episode. But I can tell you this. Most women do not leave ole faithful provider unless they got someone or something else ready to fill that void. With mine it was drugs and a guy the first time. The second time was just a guy. She lied her ass off about both times. She got dumped and her ass came crawlin back to ole faithful.

 

I can tell you man, do not take her back again. It will only prove that she can keep doing this and you will take her back every time. Do not be a fall back guy for her or any woman. Never play captain save a hoe ever again.

 

I know she is the mother of your child and I put that last part a little bluntly, but I say the same thing about my situation. My wife and I have a kid and I feel and say the same harsh thing. Why cause I dont wanna be ****ed over ever again by her or any other woman.

 

I wish I could go back. I wish I had another chance to not take her back the first time. All you can do now is move on. Don't take her back. Make any and all contact about the your guys kid. I know this hurts like hell right now and you probably want her back really bad in some way. But trust me, when she does come back, your going to be hit with ton of feelings of "what did I actually just get back". The answer, a chick who tried to monkey branch from you and when it didn't work out she came to her fall back guy. Her Plan B. And now she's back and used up from riding the cock carousel after she did monkey double back flips on the alpha male she was with.

 

I know a bunch of other posters are gonna bash me for what I've said and what I'm about to say, but these experiences that happen over and over are proof that what we've been doing is all wrong. Take the Red Pill bro. Google going Red Pill. This disney land dream we were sold is a lie...

[Matt77]

Screaming and yelling for no reason. Very angry for no reason. Rearranging the whole house for no reason. Something is wrong with her.

 

Yeah it's called cognitive dissonance because there is another guy. She is and has been cheating.

 

How do I know. Take a wild guess.

[Maddie82]

Yeah it's called cognitive dissonance because there is another guy. She is and has been cheating.

 

How do I know. Take a wild guess.

 

Fair enough

[songeln]

Have you spoken to a lawyer? You need to do that, first and foremost, to work out a formal custody arrangement. She cannot legally keep your child from you.

 

Any chance she's been taking recreational drugs?

 

quite possibly, along time ago she used to do lots of drugs, after she broke up with me and was completely unreasonable , she started drinking tons, huge bottles of wine, everyday. and going out with her friend to the bar all the time. started dressing really revieling and posting all these photos on instagram. she would dress up 4 or 5 times a day just to take photos for the internet.

 

it was like her ego from instagram went through the roof i remember neer the end she would be on instagram all day and night

[songeln]

Elaine is right. This is more like sociopathy. Some people don't know that a psychopath is born and a sociopath is made. This doesn't mean she is a certified sociopath. But she does seem to be displaying narcissistic and sociopathic behavior.

 

The same thing happened to me with my STBEW. The first time it happened we were engaged. And the second time happened just last year. 10 years between each episode. But I can tell you this. Most women do not leave ole faithful provider unless they got someone or something else ready to fill that void. With mine it was drugs and a guy the first time. The second time was just a guy. She lied her ass off about both times. She got dumped and her ass came crawlin back to ole faithful.

 

I can tell you man, do not take her back again. It will only prove that she can keep doing this and you will take her back every time. Do not be a fall back guy for her or any woman. Never play captain save a hoe ever again.

 

I know she is the mother of your child and I put that last part a little bluntly, but I say the same thing about my situation. My wife and I have a kid and I feel and say the same harsh thing. Why cause I dont wanna be ****ed over ever again by her or any other woman.

 

I wish I could go back. I wish I had another chance to not take her back the first time. All you can do now is move on. Don't take her back. Make any and all contact about the your guys kid. I know this hurts like hell right now and you probably want her back really bad in some way. But trust me, when she does come back, your going to be hit with ton of feelings of "what did I actually just get back". The answer, a chick who tried to monkey branch from you and when it didn't work out she came to her fall back guy. Her Plan B. And now she's back and used up from riding the cock carousel after she did monkey double back flips on the alpha male she was with.

 

I know a bunch of other posters are gonna bash me for what I've said and what I'm about to say, but these experiences that happen over and over are proof that what we've been doing is all wrong. Take the Red Pill bro. Google going Red Pill. This disney land dream we were sold is a lie...

 

yes the first time for me aswell she left for another guy who was doing drugs and fed her drugs.

 

the second time, although its not verified , she probably left me for another guy.

 

she asks me for money almost daily, yes shes gone on trips to cuba , and now british columbia. one thing i found baffling is she doesnt seem to pay her bills anymore, they are all getting racked up threw the roof.

 

i know i cant take her back, i cant save her, she seeks validation from certain people , like she needs approval to go forward with what shes doing, so she keeps these people in her life who are toxic. and who will agree with her.

 

everyone who disagrees with what shes doing, including her family and siblings, she has straight up turned on them aswell and cut them out for good. shes angry at them, almost like shes angry because they dont agree with her.

 

its just baffling

[songeln]

Didn't say nothing is wrong with her but those are not indications of psychosis

 

i dont know what psychosis is , but theres a very good chance that bipolar disorder was a thing, she would get hot and cold and so on and very edgy. all the time, like she had split personalities. another thing is i feel like she had a "tick" with ocd. where if something was out of place she would get mad, hense the rearranging of the whole house.

 

some of the people who know her thinks it might have been post pardum that continued on.

 

i think a combination of iud birth control and her anxiety pills just messed with her hormons,

 

but these are just theories. im no doctor. all i know is that to the average person, this chaotic sadistic behavoir is not normal.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, I'll ask again as I don't think you have responded to this:

 

Have you contacted a lawyer about a custody arrangement?

[songeln]

OP, I'll ask again as I don't think you have responded to this:

 

Have you contacted a lawyer about a custody arrangement?

 

yes i have , im waiting until the end of august for personal reasons. my ex also drives my vehicle aswell. it sucks having a good heart because i tend to let her walk all over me. just this morning she tried being nasty, i even asked her for closure , of course didnt get it, she avoids the truth, but i knotice when i bring up unanswered questions about things that she did, she gets angry, so its pretty obvious that she is trying to convince herself right to eliminate her guilt.

 

its very depressing and sad situation. like i let her back in to my life for her to just do it all over again, so it is my fault to some extent , but i guess i was raised to trust people who apparently love you. she was probably raised to survive by using people, either way a broken heart hurts like hell

[Marc878]

Stop being your own worst enemy. It gets you worse than nothing.

[Nosoul]

i can tell that you are hurt, but i do believe in karma for peoples actions. i have seen some serious karma over the years. where one member of a relationship will have this euphoric chaotic episode, and they no longer want to spend their life with one person. these people will have many relationships fail over and over because of the thing they are looking for is something that really is non existent. its always okay to leave someone if thats right for you. if thats what a person needs to do. but when these people dont know how to end a relationship so they create a story to have a reason. it never works out for them in the long run.

 

these people never really have anything to offer but their bodies. and the type of people they choose not to leave are the type of people that will eventually treat them, and leave them the same way they treated you. by the time they are 45 or 50, they are either unhappily married with someone who they thought was better, or they are single wishing that they never left you. and as for you , you will have a nice life, loving it , but that what if will always be there, but the pain will eventually fade

[Matt77]

Don't be nice anymore to her. Ever again. Don't be mean either. If the vehicle she is driving is yours, take it from her immediately. If she has anything of yours or is dependent on you for anything, take it or remove it or cancel it. However it applies, make it no longer available to her. It's just enabling her to keep doing what she's doing but also more importantly showing that you will always support her bad behavior. If she lives with you kick her ass out. Box her **** up and give it to a friend or relative who is willing to store it. Or drop it off at whatever place she is staying. Do it all today!!

Edited August 4, 2019 by Matt77