hawx79 Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 I know my girlfriend now for 2 years and in a few weeks we are taking a trip together. Then its my plan to strike the questions. She actually expects it already. But I am really stupid in this. I know I need to buy a ring for her, but for myself too? Should I show her the ring at the same time while asking the question or after it? And what is a good place to propose to her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 You can propose anyway you want to propose. However traditionally you should have a ring. You should present the ring to her and ask for her hand in marriage. No you should not have a ring for yourself. That will come later and usually at the wedding. A few other notes: you may want to consider asking her father or her parents ahead of time. It's kind of old-fashioned but it's oftentimes very appreciated. As for the setting you should think about doing it someplace romantic and probably someplace intimate. That way she can react however she feels rather than what's appropriate for the setting. But it's your choice. I proposed to my first wife sitting in traffic. Long story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 3, 2019 Author Share Posted August 3, 2019 Thanks for your reply. I want to buy a ring alone so to surprise her. But how can I know her ring size? What if the ring is too small or too big? Are most rings sized universal like small, medium and large? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Thanks for your reply. I want to buy a ring alone so to surprise her. But how can I know her ring size? What if the ring is too small or too big? Are most rings sized universal like small, medium and large? Rings can be resized. Ask the jeweler what they recommend for a size. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 3, 2019 Share Posted August 3, 2019 Or you could not-so- sneakily measure her ring finger, like H did with me... Seriously though, in this day and age where couples get to a much more intimate stage of relationship before marrying, and therefore would have had conversations about marriage before the proposal, it's unlikely to be a total "surprise" anymore. So don't worry overly much about that aspect IMO. As for your other question, traditionally only women wear an engagement ring. You'd buy that ring for her, and then both of you would usually shop together for wedding bands for both of you that you would put on each other's fingers during the wedding ceremony. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 But how can I know her ring size? What if the ring is too small or too big? Are most rings sized universal like small, medium and large? I just took one of my wife’s other rings with me, most women have some jewelry. Don’t get carried away with the ring purchase. You don’t want to start marriage in debt... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 I just took one of my wife’s other rings with me, most women have some jewelry. Don’t get carried away with the ring purchase. You don’t want to start marriage in debt... Mr. Lucky That was my thought too when I read that I should buy a second ring for the real marriage! Can't the engagement ring serve as a marriage ring too? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 (edited) Can't the engagement ring serve as a marriage ring too? Of course it's entirely up to you both, but most people in Western cultures don't typically do this (of course, if you live in a culture where engagement rings aren't really a thing, then that makes the decision easy for you!). The wedding rings are typically a plain metal (e.g. gold, platinum, silver, etc) without any gems, and often (but not always), the bride and groom wear matching or complementary wedding rings. You put these rings on each other at the wedding ceremony, which is the first time EITHER of you have worn the ring. The engagement ring typically contains a gem. It doesn't HAVE to be expensive, either, plenty of people buy engagement rings that cost less than $1000. Some women don't even like diamonds and prefer other gems like sapphires or rubies etc, which are typically cheaper. It's about the thought, and a woman who loves you would appreciate that. I mean... You've been with your girlfriend for 2 years, surely you have an idea of what she would want or not want? Are you really ready to be married if you have no idea at all??? Edited August 4, 2019 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 If she's expecting a proposal on this trip, you may as well go ring shopping together and get her ring size. Your only other options are to take a ring of hers if she wears them, or get a family member to somehow find her size (but again, if she's expecting a proposal, she's going to be 100% aware of what this is all about). What is a good place to propose, how to do it, etc; we can't answer these for you. It should be personal and meaningful to you and your soon-to-be fiancee. One of my best friends proposed to his wife in the Sahara desert at sunrise, which is as romantic as you can imagine---except she was exhausted and sweaty from the hike, wasn't expecting it at all, and when he actually proposed she just stared at him in shock until he was finally like "...well?" My husband's proposal came as a complete surprise even though we had already gone ring shopping at that point. I was expecting he would do it a few weeks later. Even when you know it's coming, you really aren't prepared for it emotionally. I also know people who haven't formally proposed at all. One friend of mine was on vacation with her boyfriend when he said out of the blue "We should go look at engagement rings." And proposing while sitting in traffic sounds pretty efficient to me! That sounds like a good story. What would be meaningful for the two of you? Where would you want it to be? Do you want friends and family there? What about a photographer? These are all questions you should be able to answer. Based on these answers you can figure out how to propose. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 4, 2019 Author Share Posted August 4, 2019 I am sure that I want to get married to her. I just turned 40 and this is the second relationship I had in my life. She is 33. She likes the beach, while I like forests and high places and don't mind to propose to her in a forest all alone. I like to propose when we are alone when I see a nice opportunity. I found out that her ring size is 17 so that should help finding the right ring. She is not big on diamonds or anything so I'll buy something classy but within budged. Link to post Share on other sites
Rayce Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 How exciting! Have fun and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted August 4, 2019 Share Posted August 4, 2019 I know my girlfriend now for 2 years and in a few weeks we are taking a trip together. Then its my plan to strike the questions. She actually expects it already. But I am really stupid in this. I know I need to buy a ring for her, but for myself too? Should I show her the ring at the same time while asking the question or after it? And what is a good place to propose to her? Traditionally, you do not buy the ring for yourself (the mens ring). She is supposed to buy that. Yes, show her the ring while asking. A good place to propose is really subjective. You'll have to decide that on your own. Pick a place that would be special or beautiful to you both. Link to post Share on other sites
aria789 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 As for the place - I will say from personal experience. The coolest is not the place itself, but the moment. When this happens during a conversation about your love and suddenly you take out a ring and propose - it is so beautiful. But if the place is important to you - during sunset in any beautiful place. Wish you luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 23, 2019 Author Share Posted August 23, 2019 As for the place - I will say from personal experience. The coolest is not the place itself, but the moment. When this happens during a conversation about your love and suddenly you take out a ring and propose - it is so beautiful. But if the place is important to you - during sunset in any beautiful place. Wish you luck. Thanks for that advice, I will definitely do that that Link to post Share on other sites
eitheror64 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 I found out that her ring size is 17 so that should help finding the right ring. She is not big on diamonds or anything so I'll buy something classy but within budged. That's awesome to hear that you're not getting anything out of budget. Congrats! I can't understand the paradox of people getting into debt to buy an engagement ring (and have a big wedding) then get divorced over this financial catastrophe Just a little bit ironic. Engagement rings with diamonds started with De Beers. And it's mostly an American thing (do Canadians/Australians/British/other Anglosphere countries do this?) I live in the US but am from Southeast Asia. When I showed my friends my engagement ring (not expensive, not diamond), they asked why I was wearing a ring before the wedding 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2019 Share Posted August 23, 2019 Have you considered proposing without the ring and then shopping for it together? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 28, 2019 Author Share Posted August 28, 2019 Have you considered proposing without the ring and then shopping for it together? I have proposed to her a few days ago on the beach during sunset, she was surprised I could be so romantic! I didn't say the typical words but just said I that I had a present for her and gave her a small box with inside another small box with 2 of the same rings inside but of different sizes, one was the right fit while the other slightly too big. She was very happy and so now I am a engaged man! Until 2 years ago didn't really believe anymore this would ever happen to me. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 28, 2019 Share Posted August 28, 2019 She was very happy and so now I am a engaged man! Congratulations! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted August 28, 2019 Author Share Posted August 28, 2019 Congratulations! Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted September 2, 2019 Share Posted September 2, 2019 Congratulations! This is a really sweet story that gives hope to the rest of us that still want to get married. I am happy your proposal went well and I wish you guys a wonderful marriage! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted September 3, 2019 Author Share Posted September 3, 2019 Congratulations! This is a really sweet story that gives hope to the rest of us that still want to get married. I am happy your proposal went well and I wish you guys a wonderful marriage! Thanks alot, but there are so many people that are getting married Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted September 29, 2019 Share Posted September 29, 2019 Traditionally the man buys the engagement ring and offers it to the woman when he proposes (down on his knee of course). However, I am sure most women have an idea of what kind of ring they would like and she may have different taste to you. I think what I would do is to go to a jeweller and get a ring the right size but with an agreement (in writing) from the jeweller that it could be swapped for an alternative if she preferred this. Once you have a ring, you can propose in a lovely environment but somewhere private so she does not have to accept because people are watching. Of course you want her to accept but I am sure you want her to accept of her own free will rather than because there is an audience. If she feels the same way as you, she will love that you chose a ring and proposed to her. She will also love that there is an option to choose an alternative ring if that one isn't her style, colour, or it does not feel comfortable to be worn regularly. Best of all worlds! Good luck! Oops! I should have read the whole thread before replying. Congratulations! I wish you both every happiness! Link to post Share on other sites
Author hawx79 Posted October 1, 2019 Author Share Posted October 1, 2019 Oops! I should have read the whole thread before replying. Congratulations! I wish you both every happiness! Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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