Did I make a mistake?

[Summer18]

Hi everyone

 

I apologize my first post is straight into my problems but I really do need an unbiased opinion, please.

 

I broke up with my boyfriend in June. I was going through a loss of a close family member and everything was messy. He started picking fights because he needed a lot of reassurance which I couldn't give at the moment and fighting him daily was too much, so I ended it.

 

He later texted me I was right in having ended the relationship because he was at fault and that he was sorry he had screwed things up. After a month he texted me he was going on this trip and that he was thinking about me. We talked about it and we decided to give it another try starting from the beginning and slowly giving it a chance.

 

Thing is he was hot and cold, but whenever he got the impression I had enough of it, he would get super nervous trying to make everything right so I called him out on that and I suggested we should think about it without contacting each other, telling him he needed to think about what he wanted. And after some time he texted me we should meet to talk.

 

When we met, he was pretty nervous and he immediately told me his conclusion about us:

 

 

Summary, friends with benefits. But if some day, the line between friends and couple was crossed again, he would love to explore that idea again.

 

 

I said no, I told him I wanted a relationship with him and that being "friends with benefits" was insulting and if we didn't want the same thing, there was no point then in even trying anything else. He started crying telling me not to vanish from his life, that he was missing me already and he didn't want to miss me even more, that when we met we got along way better because there was no pressure (?) and that he didn't like that I forbid him of seeing his friends (what?). But if I disagreed with him, that I should give him options then to fix this, because it had been my decision to end it

 

He told me he thought this through and he tried to pick the best option to make me happy (?), but he was panicking knowing he was going to tell me this because he didn't want to lose me.

 

I told him I couldn't be his friend, because honestly I will feel awful knowing he's dating someone else and that I felt so far away from him that it was scary, and I wouldn't feel comfortable telling him about anything in my life.

 

I left telling him I couldn't do this, he looked really sad and texted me shortly after asking me why. I didn't reply. He then texted me about his day, sent me photos, asked me how was I feeling, telling me he was thinking about me, goodnight and good morning texts like nothing happened, and I just had it because I felt mocked and pressured and blocked him without answering back.

 

A few days later I unblocked him and he texted me asking me if he was still blocked. I replied and we haven't talk since.

 

I feel pretty played honestly, and disappointed. We had plans, or so I thought.

 

He hasn't erased my number (yet?) but he hasn't tried to talk to me. I can't be his friend because what am I going to do? give him relationship advice? go to his wedding and be happy he's marrying someone else?

 

Why is he being so stupid and so contradictory?

 

Why am I being so stupid?

[Maddie82]

I think you did the right thing. It sounds like he doesn't know what he really wants.