Tips needed

[Lonelyloser1987]

So I really like this cutey that I met when she interviewed me - we have maintained good relationship but the number she gave was her is her work number and unfortunately, due to strict work policies, she wasn't able to respond in giving her our personal number but she didn't say no which to me is a positive sign that she likes me a bit but how do I get in contact with her without sounding desperate or too pushy? She said that she can't meet because she already has my details so we can't go for a second round interview so I can sneak in a little drink date. I feel like I am going through a book like 1984.

 

Any pointers?

Edited August 4, 2019 by Lonelyloser1987

[BaileyB]

Here’s a pointer, if she is interviewing you and she says that she can not give out her personal information due to workplace policies - respect that. Leave her alone.

[Lonelyloser1987]

Here’s a pointer, if she is interviewing you and she says that she can not give out her personal information due to workplace policies - respect that. Leave her alone.

 

I have always respected her - she is a lovely person and I only was here to share the love, but how can I meet her?

[ExpatInItaly]

due to strict work policies, she wasn't able to respond in giving her our personal number but she didn't say no which to me is a positive sign that she likes me a bit but how do I get in contact with her without sounding desperate or too pushy?

 

It's not a sign she likes you, OP.

 

It's a sign she was uncomfortable with your request and hoping you'd take the hint when she offered no alternative way to contact her and cited workplace policy. You need to read between the lines there. Some folks have difficulty being direct, especially when they're put on the spot, but her response was indeed a no.

 

She isn't an option for you, so you're best to keep moving.

[Lonelyloser1987]

It's not a sign she likes you, OP.

 

It's a sign she was uncomfortable with your request and hoping you'd take the hint when she offered no alternative way to contact her and cited workplace policy. You need to read between the lines there. Some folks have difficulty being direct, especially when they're put on the spot, but her response was indeed a no.

 

She isn't an option for you, so you're best to keep moving.

 

 

Pretty sure she likes me otherwise, she wouldn't have said those things. Time to bring back some love into this world. We talk like friggin robots over the phone and pretend everything is okay when it's not.

[ExpatInItaly]

Who talks like robots over the phone?

 

What are they pretending is okay when it's not?

[BaileyB]

She was being polite, nothing more and nothing less.

 

You made an inappropriate request that made her uncomfortable. Her response was an attempt to politely extricate herself from the situation. Leave it alone.

[Happy3917]

I'm sorry to say, but it sounds like she made up a response to spare your feelings. I've never heard of a work policy to not give out your personal number. That just doesn't happen.

 

Good luck, though, on your quest to find love.

[basil67]

Pushing an HR person for a date even after she's said No is a sure fire way to make sure you don't get the job. She'll see you as too much of a risk for a sexual harassment claim.

[justwhoiam]

I'm sorry dude, but I think you messed up.

 

So she's someone from HR and she interviewed you for a job, right? And you call her to ask her out on a date? NO. That's very unprofessional.

 

If you were really interested, you should have asked her when the round of interviews will be over and the hiring process should be over for the position you applied to.

 

Then, knowing that, as soon as the hiring process is over you would have had two choices:

A) you got hired (you can ask if she'd like to have lunch with you, during lunch break)

B) you didn't get hired (you can call her and tell her you'd love to go get some coffee with her somewhere, when she's available)

 

Now, is everything lost? Well, option A) might still be open (but the chance is very slim, after what you did).

 

So, in case you're not hired, if you're really into her, I'd ask a friend to call the company and ask when the hiring process should be completed, so that you have an idea. Then you might have an approximate date (let's say Sept 15). Then you let a week go by (e.g. Sept 22), and at that point you call her again and play it the best way you can, like " Good morning, (her name). It's (your name) again. So, I guess the hiring process should be over by now, and I wasn't chosen. May I dare invite you out for a coffee again?" and see what happens.

 

Work policies do exist, but only for employees. And you might not be one.

[Veronica73]

Leave her alone. She doesn’t want to see you. You put her in an awkward position.

[rjc149]

Here's a tip -- change your username. Stop internalizing negativity and self-deprecation. How is calling yourself a "lonely loser" going to help anything?

[preraph]

She's not interested. She is in an awkward position of being hit on by an interviewee and doesn't want to just outright reject you in case you should get hired because her boss likes you or even because you might get picked for a second interview and she has to see you.

 

It's her job to be polite and friendly and professional. She doesn't want anything personal with you and has refused to give you that access. You have probably already blown your chance for getting hired. You need to leave her alone.