Lovejourney Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) Currently, I live in an apartment with my husband and his brother (who will be leaving soon). Recently while relaxing at home, me and my husband were taking about jobs. He then said out the blue, you know what about thief in the city jobs? I thought ok, odd...then he said that I would make a good thief assistant like I could do the job well. I laughed it off. Then he asked me in a round about way if I ever stole? I told him I never took anything in my life and he accussed me of lying. Which is weird. I found this whole thing odd because in all of the years I knew him, he never joked like this with me. I dont know if Im being sensitive or what. It made me uncomfortable. Have you ever felt like this? Am I being sensitive? Add to the fact that his brother lost something. So is this his way of. asking if I took it? Edited August 5, 2019 by Lovejourney Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 You will have to ask him what he meant. "Why do you ask?" would be a good start. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovejourney Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 (edited) You will have to ask him what he meant. "Why do you ask?" would be a good start. I tried and he denied he even made the joke now. Accussed me of being messed up in the head. Edited August 5, 2019 by Lovejourney Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 It sounds like you are being gaslighted, or possibly groomed for something. What is the reason for his brother being there at all? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 He then said out the blue, you know what about thief in the city jobs? Is "thief in the city" somehow different than your everyday crook or conman? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovejourney Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 It sounds like you are being gaslighted, or possibly groomed for something. What is the reason for his brother being there at all? I feel the same way. Like I heard his brother saying some things about me then wlhen I come out the room, suddenly they are both whispering. Its just ironic that the same morning his brother lost something of his, was talking too loud and saying he told my husband so is the same day my husband asks about stealing and thievery. Its like hes trying to make ot seem like Im crazy. The brother is visiting from another country but wants to stay here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovejourney Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 Is "thief in the city" somehow different than your everyday crook or conman? Mr. Lucky Who knows. I guess its one in the same. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Does you husband often talk down to you like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovejourney Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 Does you husband often talk down to you like this? Not really. But recently he acts like something is wrong with my recollection of events that happen and things he says. Im a sober person with no history of mental illnesses so Im pretty in touch with reality. Its like he'll say one thing, then Ill ask about it and then suddenly it didnt happen. Like the whole thing about him lying about having children & telling me the whole dna story. He first denies it happened at all. Im crazy, "something is wrong with you" then turn around admit to telling me that he made the story up to protect his son and see what my reaction to him having kids would be. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Like the whole thing about him lying about having children & telling me the whole dna story. He first denies it happened at all. Im crazy, "something is wrong with you" then turn around admit to telling me that he made the story up to protect his son and see what my reaction to him having kids would be. Not even sure why you felt the need to post this new thread? His deceptive handling of his parental status would have already sent most running towards the exit... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Its like he'll say one thing, then Ill ask about it and then suddenly it didnt happen. Like the whole thing about him lying about having children & telling me the whole dna story. He first denies it happened at all. Im crazy, "something is wrong with you" then turn around admit to telling me that he made the story up to protect his son and see what my reaction to him having kids would be. Oh god, that guy? I remember you and your story now. The man is a bald-faced liar and gaslighter. He probably stole something and is "testing" you now to "see what your reaction would be" if he "hypothetically" stole something and if you would make a good "hypothetical" stealing "assistant." Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Let's go to the horrible possibility itself: your husband really got some crazy idea about you being a thief. Now the brutal question to you. Once you get pass being shocked and appalled and in disbelief and all that ... be brutally real: is this the kind of wacky idea he is really capable of having? Think about it. Don't stay in denial. You know what you heard, you know what he asked you. I have never heard of good results when something happens like what happened to you ... and the person in your position ... just pretends it didn't happen, pretends they didn't hear what they heard. Never. Don't lose years pretending that your ears and brain are malfunctioning. Major red flag about him and the relationship. You guys got money problems? Does he have a decent-paying job? Confront him ... directly ... and boldly. You gotta confront him. Far from overthinking, you're not thinking seriously enough about what he said. Ask him ... and listen with curiosity ... and really dig into your memory bank to see if what he said relates to something or some kind of thinking you've heard him engage in before. My bet is that it does. You've probably heard him present nutsy ideas before. Start to protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Not really. But recently he acts like something is wrong with my recollection of events that happen and things he says. Im a sober person with no history of mental illnesses so Im pretty in touch with reality. Its like he'll say one thing, then Ill ask about it and then suddenly it didnt happen. Like the whole thing about him lying about having children & telling me the whole dna story. He first denies it happened at all. Im crazy, "something is wrong with you" then turn around admit to telling me that he made the story up to protect his son and see what my reaction to him having kids would be. I'm not sure how long you've been married, and I honestly haven't looked back at any of your other posts, but given what you've said right here, I would run, not walk, to the nearest escape exit. If you have no children together, all the more simple. Do you want him to father your children? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 Sounds to me that he wonders if you took his brother's lost thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted August 8, 2019 Share Posted August 8, 2019 LJ, you're all over the place. In your last thread about the child he lied to you about, you said you were going to divorce him. And you also said you were going to move forward with a relationship with the child, implying no divorce. Now this. What are you doing?? How much more crap are you going to put up with?. Link to post Share on other sites
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