samsungxoxo Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I recalled that a couple of my threads from 10-13 years ago was about having control, hitting back (yet I was a hypocrite by saying I would hit if told ''shut up'') and my anger towards abusive males. This is what I sounded like back then: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/abuse/99276-who-else-believes-hitting-back-rule https://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/personal-rants-confessions/103307-stupid-chauvinist-jerks-grrr-sooo-pisss-now Now at the age of 32 I look back and think to myself ''That was really me posting all that garbage''? My handwriting looks different by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Welcome back! Abusive people are always deserving of your anger. It's not a "radical feminist" thing. I agree that escalating to violence is always a bad idea. Self-defense is fine, but you weren't just advocating self defense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted August 5, 2019 Author Share Posted August 5, 2019 Welcome back! Abusive people are always deserving of your anger. It's not a "radical feminist" thing. I agree that escalating to violence is always a bad idea. Self-defense is fine, but you weren't just advocating self defense.Thank you and yes you're correct on your last sentence. Applying physical force towards someone else should only be reserved as the last option. My mentality is different by now. If I were hit in my relationship, my main focus would be getting away and having him charged for assault. Abuse is still an immediate deal-breaker in my book. If for whatever reason, getting away isn't possible and the attacker is blocking your exit then that's a different story. There is a high chance I might then react physically at that point. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 I used to have a lot of anger towards women and I feel I have changed a lot so don't torture yourself about it. The fact that you can look at your old posts and be happy you changed shows much more reflection and introspection than many people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 5, 2019 Share Posted August 5, 2019 Now at the age of 32 I look back and think to myself ''That was really me posting all that garbage''? My handwriting looks different by now. That's what your 20's are for, trying on different ideas and personas and seeing what fits. Three of my kids are now in their 30's and all have changed significantly in the last ten years... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted August 6, 2019 Share Posted August 6, 2019 The difference between 20 and 30 is pretty amazing. At 20 I was pretty violent, and by all accounts very tough to be around. My husband says I have mellowed with time. Our relationship in our early 30's is really succeeding. Teens and 20's - not so much. I don't think it is a radical feminist idea to escalate to violence. Not always a good idea, but understandable if it is the thing that pushes you over the edge. The trick is not to spend time around people who treat you like crap. And the people who don't treat you like crap - go out of your way to not treat THEM like crap. Simple, but when you're young and mad at the world it takes time for it to sink in. Link to post Share on other sites
Mottly Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 People change over time. This is normal. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 I think change over time is natural. I’ve pretty dramatically changed over the past ten years. Some for the better, some for the worse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 7, 2019 Share Posted August 7, 2019 [...] I look back and think to myself ''That was really me posting all that garbage''? As others have said, congrats on putting in the effort to come to this higher way of looking at yourself, and the people and world around you! . Escalating any situation to violence represents the lowest levels of the consciousness of humanity...but still anyone can fall under the temptation to do it. What I find more interesting in this day and age is that there are so many different types of people and groups who somehow see it that when they do violence, it is okay... ...because their 'reasons' (excuses) are valid/justified...but, if some other person or group does violence against them...then those other ones are 'out of line', their reasons not valid or justified, and they need to be punished or persecuted until they 'get what they deserve'. When the majority of people on Earth do the work that you've done, and arrive at the same conclusion, then it will be so great! . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author samsungxoxo Posted August 10, 2019 Author Share Posted August 10, 2019 I used to have a lot of anger towards women and I feel I have changed a lot so don't torture yourself about it. The fact that you can look at your old posts and be happy you changed shows much more reflection and introspection than many people.I remembered you and I guess we sounded like each other's counterparts. Glad to hear you were able to recover. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 It feels good to let go of that anger and bitterness doesn't it? It feels like a weight has been lifted off. Link to post Share on other sites
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