Am I being too practical or not practical enough?

[uncertainty799]

My boyfriend (67 yrs old) wants to move in with me (62 yrs old). We’ve been together for many years and love each other. But I’m very settled financially have a good retirement and earn a good living. I told him he can’t live with me until I see he can support himself so when he moves in he can pay something towards the household expenses.

 

He has improved somewhat but breaks even with almost nothing left in his checking account at months end after he pays his bills. He brings in over $4000 a month from working and social security and I know he doesn’t gamble or anything and his rent is $1400/month so I’m confused why he only breaks even. He does put away $200/month. I don’t know if I can trust him to share expenses. At first he said he’d pay several hundred less than his rent he pays now and put the difference into an account for both of us to use for vacations etc. but I told him he’d have to give me the full amount and I’d take care of putting the money aside since I’m very good with saving and he is not. Finally he has only $20,000 in assets this needs to cover retirement and his extra expenses. Sometimes I believe I’m justified in feeling uneasy living with him and other times maybe an excuse. Thoughts ?

[schlumpy]

How strong are your feelings? That's what will ultimately make your decision. I'm wondering what you will get out of the new living arrangement. You already have his company unless you need to see him every minute of the day. I see exactly what he will get from it and it is very attractive.

 

I would urge you not to do this without getting very unromantic advice from your financial advisor or lawyer. You can't rely on just goodwill. You will need legal protection that is enforceable. Try to be pragmatic.

 

 

Best Wishes