beldar Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 Not if it ruins 20 years of marriage and leaves your loved one in a state of distress... There are none so blind as those who will not see. Honesty is in a strong foundation of a marriage. Your theory of benevolent dishonesty is in a strong foundation of a train wreck. 1
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 Your theory of benevolent dishonesty is in a strong foundation of a train wreck. Honesty caused this train wreck... Had she kept schtum, there would be no issue. He would be sleeping well at night and he would have a woman by his side who he trusted like he has done for years until she decided to spill the beans... Now he is a shadow of his former self and contemplating divorce... he will likely never be the same ever again. Great!! Fantastic!!!!
Timshel Posted October 3, 2019 Posted October 3, 2019 he will likely never be the same ever again. Great!! Fantastic!!!! He should not be the same again, neither should their marriage. My dad told me that marriage is not easy but that in the daily commitment of moving forward together, the building of something great makes it so much more, something much greater and more important than I or you....us. Honesty, though painful for awhile, keeps growth together. Either a couple grows together or falls apart. Stagnation is not an option, really, just a postponement of the inevitable. Marriage is playing the long game. The acceptance of each others flaws and the momentary passions are to be acknowledged, time taken with an understanding of a new understanding. The rigid and inflexible need not apply. 1
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