How Do I Tell Whether Or Not This Girl Likes Me Or Just Wants To Be Friends?

[GuitarGuy7]

So I met this girl back in February in one of my classes and we got to talking and it turns out that we have a lot in common with one another. I never asked her out because she had a boyfriend at the time but I still liked talking to her and she was friendly enough to keep the conversation going.

 

In May, she broke up with her boyfriend and then later that month moved away to a city about 2 hours away.

 

I start talking to her on Snapchat around June and she actually keeps the conversation going. We talk for about a week and I ask her out, but she says that she doesn't want to travel 2 hours to meet me, which was understandable.

 

 

A couple of weeks later, she wrote on her story that she was coming to my hometown. So I decided to ask her to meet up with me at a local bar, and to my surprise she actually said yes.

 

We met up and had something to eat and talked for a couple of hours before she had to go to her meeting. I got her talking about her life and her projects and we seemed to connect. I later texted her after the day, hey it was nice talking to you, if you're ever back in my city we should meet up again, and she responded with yeah totally!

 

 

For the next week, I text her once every couple of days but the texting conversations don't last too long and I am always the first to text her. She only responds back if I ask questions and if I make statements, she may or may not reply back.

 

About a week later, I ask her to meet with me online and play some video games (she's a big gamer...) and at first she says she is busy but eventually on Sunday she texts me and says she is free at 8:30. We went online to play some video games together but only did one match for about an hour till she told me that she had to go.

 

 

 

I honestly do not know whether or not this girl likes me or not or she simply sees me as a friend. I'm a 24 year old kissless virgin with next to no experience, so I honestly have no idea what i'm doing. I thought by asking her to meet up, this would imply that I like her but I honestly have no idea.

 

What do you think I should do next?

[spiritedaway2003]

It sounds like she likes you just as a friend.

 

If you like her, you could try asking her out on a date? Then you'll know your answer for sure, and you'll never have to wonder about the "What If?"

 

Good luck.

[basil67]

She's a friend. But don't hold this against her - she may help broaden your friendship group...and through her, you may meet another girl who is into you.

[alphamale]

dude, you are 24...that is considered a baby in the dating world. you'll get experience as time goes on.

 

this girl you're talking about likes you only as a friend

[GuitarGuy7]

 

this girl you're talking about likes you only as a friend

 

 

 

What makes you say that?

[alphamale]

What makes you say that?

 

well GG7, you would already be banging her if she thought of you as romantic material

[Maddie82]

She only likes you as a friend. If there was anything more things would've progressed further by now but it hasn't.

[GuitarGuy7]

Well I guess there's only one way to find out...

 

Next time we hang out, i'm going to tell her that I like her. This is probably going to be really bad, but at least now i'm stating how I feel and I get to see how she feels.

 

I'm placing bets. Iv'e got about a 5% chance of her actually liking me back, a 50% chance of her only seeing me as a friend, a 20% chance of her saying she would date me if it weren't for the distance, and a 25% chance of her being completely weirded out.

 

Yup should go really well...

[Maddie82]

Well I guess there's only one way to find out...

 

Clearly you're not listening to people here. Is it because you are hoping she likes you so you refuse to listen when people tell you otherwise?

Edited August 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[PRW]

Well I guess there's only one way to find out...

Next time we hang out, I'm going to tell her that I like her.

Like? Hang out?

Sorry man, that is an immature way to view it. The mature way to view it would be, "Interested in", and "make a date". I don't really see you having much of a chance here. I understand you have little to no experience, so I'm not knocking you,...just pointing out ways for you to see it and hopefully make changes.

 

Let me go back to the original message and point out some mistakes (in either action or thinking)

I never asked her out because she had a boyfriend

If you don't ask if she has one then you won't know and all you have to do is try to make a date. It is up to her if she wants to keep the BF or drop him and go out with you,...and you don't even need to know it happened. If she says "I have a BF" then respond in a light hearted way such as "Well, I don't want to pay for his dinner too,...but if your situation changes let me know. Then go hang out with some guys.

 

I start talking to her on Snapchat around June and she actually keeps the conversation going. We talk for about a week and I ask her out, but she says that she doesn't want to travel 2 hours to meet me, which was understandable.

A week is too long to get to the point. You contacted her because you want her and she was smart enough to know that the moment you contacted her. But she knows if it took you a week to get to the point then you are not a serious contender.

 

A couple of weeks later, she wrote on her story that she was coming to my hometown. So I decided to ask her to meet up with me at a local bar, and to my surprise she actually said yes.

Yes, as "friends". Even you presented it as "friends" in the way that you asked.

 

I later texted her after the day, hey it was nice talking to you, if you're ever back in my city we should meet up again, and she responded with yeah totally!

They will all respond like that to a comment like that,...none of them are ever going to say "No way, not a chance".

 

For the next week, I text her once every couple of days but the texting conversations don't last too long and I am always the first to text her. She only responds back if I ask questions and if I make statements, she may or may not reply back.

You are chasing her like a puppy dog and she is trying to blow you off,...but she is trying to be gentle about it.

 

About a week later, I ask her to meet with me online and play some video games (she's a big gamer...) and at first she says she is busy but eventually on Sunday she texts me and says she is free at 8:30. We went online to play some video games together but only did one match for about an hour till she told me that she had to go.

More of the same. She is trying to blow you off without being mean about it.

 

I honestly do not know whether or not this girl likes me or not or she simply sees me as a friend.

You are in the Friend Zone and she lives 2 hours away.

I'm a 24 year old kissless virgin with next to no experience, so I honestly have no idea what i'm doing.

I understand, I'm not trying to be hard on you. There is a ton of material about this stuff on YouTube,...so start digging around over there and do some studying. There are several good sources but if I name them the moderators will "ding" me for "Promoting <fill in the name>". Edited August 6, 2019 by PRW

[preraph]

She's drug her feet every step of the way, so she is definitely not attracted to you romantically.

[alphamale]

I'm placing bets. Iv'e got about a 5% chance of her actually liking me back, ...

 

no, there is a 0% chance of her liking you back

[GuitarGuy7]

no, there is a 0% chance of her liking you back

 

At least this way I will no longer by wasting my time with her. By telling her how I feel, it will force her to say how she feels as well, and if what you say is true, then at least now I know the truth and I can move on.

 

She should have told me no from the beginning, but no she strung me along. And that’s partially my fault for not stating my interest early on, maybe I should have been more upfront about me liking her.

 

 

 

Four years or pursuing girls, only to fail every time. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. Perhaps it’s not possible for a guy like me to ever be romantically involved with anyone. Reality is often disappointing.

[Maddie82]

At least this way I will no longer by wasting my time with her. By telling her how I feel, it will force her to say how she feels as well, and if what you say is true, then at least now I know the truth and I can move on.

 

She should have told me no from the beginning, but no she strung me along. And that’s partially my fault for not stating my interest early on, maybe I should have been more upfront about me liking her.

 

 

 

Four years or pursuing girls, only to fail every time. To say I am disappointed is an understatement. Perhaps it’s not possible for a guy like me to ever be romantically involved with anyone. Reality is often disappointing.

 

She hasn't strung you along at all. She hasn't done anythig. You're the one that's done all the chasing but hadn't gotten you anywhere. I think you still have alot of maturing to do.

[GuitarGuy7]

You're the one that's done all the chasing but hadn't gotten you anywhere.

 

 

Only one way to find out for sure...

[Maddie82]

Only one way to find out for sure...

 

Like we've all said, if she was interested it would have happened a long time ago. But keep up posted.

[basil67]

Yes, you could make a move....but you'll lose her as a friend and someone who could potentially introduce you to a better social life and more friends.

 

Do you have enough social life and friends to take this risk?

[GuitarGuy7]

It is done.

 

You all were right. I sent her a text saying that next week, I will be in her city (which is true) and I made sure to use the word "date" instead of hangout to make my intentions clear.

 

She told me that she wasn't looking to date right now and that she never saw me that way, and I told her that it's fine. At least i'm no longer wasting my time.

 

And that was it.

 

 

 

This has only confirmed to me one thing. That in my 24 years of living, not a single girl has ever been romantically attracted to me, that all girls only see me as a friend and never as a lover.

 

Now my next step is to figure out why that is. Why women arne't attracted to me. The truth will be painful but nevertheless necessary, in order for me to grow.

[basil67]

The next step would involve asking female friends for their opinion on why this is happening.

[GuitarGuy7]

The next step would involve asking female friends for their opinion on why this is happening.

 

 

That's actually what I was planning on doing.

 

I'm going to ask this female friend that I know why she thinks women arne't attracted to me, but she has to be completely honest with me because it's really the only way.

 

 

I have a pretty good idea of what it is that makes women not attracted to me, but I want to ask people who know me well enough to see what they think. Like I think women arne't attracted to me due to my height and my aspergers, but I could be completely wrong.

[basil67]

What is your sense of it?

[GuitarGuy7]

What is your sense of it?

 

 

I think women are rejecting me because of my short height and my aspergers. The fact that i'm only 5 ft 3, and that I come off as different become of my neurologically different brain.

 

And if this is the case, then there's not really much I can do to change my situation. I can't grow taller, I can't become neurologically typical. My only options would be to date ugly chicks, hire a prostitute, or wait until i'm 40 and wealthy and then date a girl who accepts me as a betabux, after spending most of her twenties screwing around and riding the cock carosel.

Edited August 6, 2019 by GuitarGuy7

[Mysterio]

I think GG. You have to start finding good things about yourself outside of dating women.

 

24 is too young to be distraught about women. I am 48 and I sometimes think that I am not missing out. If you want a female friend to give you the brutal truth. I think you have to emotionally separate yourself for yourself and let her state her opinion. It does not have to be a brutal session, where you're on the defensive.

[Maddie82]

I think women are rejecting me because of my short height and my aspergers. The fact that i'm only 5 ft 3, and that I come off as different become of my neurologically different brain.

 

And if this is the case, then there's not really much I can do to change my situation. I can't grow taller, I can't become neurologically typical. My only options would be to date ugly chicks, hire a prostitute, or wait until i'm 40 and wealthy and then date a girl who accepts me as a betabux, after spending most of her twenties screwing around and riding the cock carosel.

 

That's a rather tacky approach. What about joining groups with others that have Aspergers? Meet other girls who know just how you feel, that can identify with you.

[basil67]

I think women are rejecting me because of my short height and my aspergers. The fact that i'm only 5 ft 3, and that I come off as different become of my neurologically different brain.

 

And if this is the case, then there's not really much I can do to change my situation. I can't grow taller, I can't become neurologically typical. My only options would be to date ugly chicks, hire a prostitute, or wait until i'm 40 and wealthy and then date a girl who accepts me as a betabux, after spending most of her twenties screwing around and riding the cock carosel.

 

Yep, Aspergers will be an issue. Have you ever attended any groups with are aimed at teaching dating and friendship skills? For the record, I know Aspies who've dated and married - so it's not impossible. I echo Maddie's comments about finding women who are also neuro diverse.

 

As for the bit in bold, such nastiness towards women will guarantee you staying single and make it very difficult to have friends If I was your friend in real life and you said this to me, I'd stop being your friend. Of course, you may not say this out loud, but the fact the thoughts are there reflects poorly on you.