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my hubby is leaving me and I didnt do anything wrong


browneyes

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i met my husband in august 1998 we are both military we dated for 5 1/2 mos and then he proposed to me in jan 99. we were married in feb 99 our first child was born in aug 99 and our second in jul 00. now he decides to leave me because he says that im controlling, i asked him what he meant by that and he said that im controlling because i wont let him go to the club every weekend, i told him well of course not every other weekend should be good enough and the out of the other 2 weekends we make it family time, but he feels as though that is controlling, then he gave me clamydia, now being married for 2 yrs with no stds, but all of a sudden after we are seperated he gives me an std, what do you think i should do in this situation, i love my hubby very much but he doesnt seem to care about me, but also i want to try my best to keep my marriage together

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You have no control over the morals, background, committment level or any other aspect of another person, including your husband. You took a huge gamble getting pregnant by him a few months after meeting him. Dating in the military is difficult enough. Putting the added pressure of a pregnancy onto that makes is triply tough.

 

I suggest you both see the chaplain or a military counsellor, if you have one at your duty station who is competent, and try to work this out. Go see one off base if necessary.

 

My feeling is that your husband is young and was hardly ready to get married. He got you pregnant not long after meeting you which should have given you an indication of his studsmanship. Now you've got two babies and clamydia.

 

I hope you can work this out, but if not, be sure to see your commanding officer and get him to ensure your husband takes out an allotment for support of your children during his military career.

 

His commanding officer may just have a nice talk with him. In the military, adultery is a violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) and he can get a nice, fat courts marshal for screwing around on you.

 

To answer your question, I don't think someone who is so inclined to cheat on you should be allowed to go to the club at all...not after what he has done to you. I'm so sorry but your husband is just a child. If he has to go clubbing, get a babysitter and go along with him.

 

I am truly sorry this happened to you. He just wasn't ready for you...and may never be.

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