Swingen Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 It is tough. But it does appear that you would be better off without this person. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 op, I'm not surprised. Polticians are not known for being good relationship partners. Most are actually extremely shallow and self centred. He may well have many other ow too. It's a profession that attracts its own set of "groupies" if you will,and he may very well be carrying on with as many as he can get away with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 But nothing. Get over your reticence to look out for your own health with a quickness and make an appointment with your doctor and get tested. I'd be gone--all belongings moved out and no trace of either me or the kids. The only thing left would be print outs of the text messages they shared taped to the fridge. His political opponent would get a copy of the texts, too, but that's me being pettaaaaaaaaaay a.f. I second all of this. The only thing I would add is a handwritten note that specifically says: “I am not giving up any claim I have to this house. I simply don’t want to see you. If you want to see the kids, call my parents. When you are out of the house, call my parents so I know it’s safe to come back.” The. I’d take a picture of the note and the ‘fridge. That’s evidence that you left him not the shared residence. This will totally rob him of any power. It gives it all back to you. When you are ready to confront him, it’s on your terms. If you never are, that’s still on your terms, too. But he will never more acutely feel the loss than walking in an empty house. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 he convinced me that having children together is way more of a lifetime connection than being married. He also comes from a broken family with a 'horrordivorce' and therefore has an aversion against marriage. One might almost think he planned this all along ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Talk to a lawyer. Not sure, but I believe some states have odd rules for kids out of wedlock. You might get 100% custody (or have the option for it if you want that). Not at all sure that's your state, but you might look into it. Many family attorneys do a free 1/2 hour consult + then you can save up your questions and visit a 2nd one if you have add'l ones. Of course, IF there were to be an actual custody battle, that might = a LOT of money in lawyer bills, possibly more than you'd care to afford. So, suggest you be cautious and clear on what you really want before making any decisions. Using lawyers to attempt to exact revenge tends to be a VERY expensive proposition, and often isn't particularly satisfying in the end either from what I have heard from folks... Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 I would definitely be talking to a lawyer and planning my exit before I spoke with this man. His feelings/needs wouldn’t matter to me as much as those of my children at this point. May I suggest, when the shock of it all wears off OP, you need to find your anger... Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Going to court isn't for revenge, it's home economics. When you get past the emotional impact of the affair, you realize it's economic consequences. Time, money, and resources have been and are continuing to be drained away from your household and your children to entertain someone else's whims. You can't predict how reckless or selfish a cheating spouse will be. Therefore, it's important to get a court involved and establish security of your domicile and finances. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Going to court isn't for revenge, it's home economics. It’s important to get a court involved and establish security of your domicile and finances. Absolutely. It’s particularly important because you have children to protect. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 11, 2019 Share Posted August 11, 2019 Absolutely, consult with an attorney ASAP, hopefully before he returns from his trip. Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 Is it your house, or his? Are you in a state that recognizes common law marriage? Has paternity been established for your children? Are you self supporting, or dependent on him for support? Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted August 12, 2019 Share Posted August 12, 2019 You find really important the fact that she is 8 years younger than you. Do you have this kind of age insecurity? That you have a younger, attractive, probably rich man and you have to keep him? Secondly, I don't think this woman told you because she was feeling guilty. She told you because she wanted him for herself. She had a plan that's why she kept the messages. I think you should have a sincere talk with him because of the kids. It's a shame that they lose their father because he likes to sleep around. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted August 13, 2019 Share Posted August 13, 2019 Hi J How is everything going? R U Ok? :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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