In a western society, generally how long will someone stay single?

[Springsummer]

Today overheard a guy mentioned his gf. It's a shocker to me, because sometimes I wonder if he is gay and he doesn't seem like someone who has a girlfriend. He has zero attraction to me.

 

and there is another guy who no long ago his long term partner/gf left him. He seemed pretty broken. Next thing I know he brought his 'significant other' to our director's BBQ gathering.

 

and in another forum of this website, a guy dumped his dedicated and loving gf, and in a couple of months(or even?) he is having a new gf already.

 

It seems pretty mindblogging to me. how can one just find someone else so easily and quickly. and everyone has someone.

 

so people can't stay single for long in western societies? Looks like I am the only unicorn in this society.

[MetallicHue]

I’ve heard plenty of stories about people being single a long time or having trouble in the dating scene. In all honesty if I hadn’t met my wife, my one and only gf at 20 I may have been one of them.

[Springsummer]

So, there is no way this attractive guy has been single in the last 1.5 years I have had my eyes on him. oh, my life...

[alphamale]

so people can't stay single for long in western societies? Looks like I am the only unicorn in this society.

 

the more someone has to offer the less the time they will stay single, in general

[basil67]

Alpha is right. Those who have confidence, good social skills and generally have their life together won't be single for long.

[Springsummer]

the more someone has to offer the less the time they will stay single, in general

 

You didn't get my point.

 

What I am trying to say is that some people are not discriminatory. They pretty much can just hook up with the next opposite that come along.

[Springsummer]

Alpha is right. Those who have confidence, good social skills and generally have their life together won't be single for long.

 

If you want to know how wrong you are, look up the thread in the dating forum of a guy who dumped his gf. The guy was a total loser yet he got a gf in no time.

[alphamale]

If you want to know how wrong you are, look up the thread in the dating forum of a guy who dumped his gf. The guy was a total loser yet he got a gf in no time.

 

that is the exception and not the rule

[Springsummer]

that is the exception and not the rule

 

na...for every loser, there is always another loser out there.

 

and there are people who can not live on their own.

 

some just have good tastes and can't take anything less.

[carhill]

IME, varies widely. In most of my social circle, people had new partners before they were divorced. However, and this might be relevant, most people got married for the first time in their teens or early twenties, so had legal, committed partners very early in life.

 

OTOH, in an era when women got married in high school, my mom didn't get married until 31 and apparently had quite an interesting single life. She was no bow-wow, more a Rosie the Riveter who modeled professionally besides building airplanes in her 20's. After 32 years of marriage her husband died and she was single until she died. Never saw her with a man and she never talked about a man. She said dad was her one and only. She still had plenty of male attention in her 60's and 70's from what I could see but no interest.

 

Perhaps that underscores one variable to being single a long time, that when it's one choice to be single. That's how it's been with me since getting divorced. Every time I get that mating twinge, I remember what reality is like and nah, plenty of other stuff to do in life. Even the best of relationships take a lot of effort and one must feel that effort is worth the result. Good on those who do.

[basil67]

If you want to know how wrong you are, look up the thread in the dating forum of a guy who dumped his gf. The guy was a total loser yet he got a gf in no time.

 

The fact that something is written on the internet does not make it true. Don't trust all you read.

[chillii]

Imo , a lot are just pretty shallow so they can be with someone else fairly quickly and because they are how they are a relationship to them is the same and doesn't have to have very much.

You see it right here on ls all the time. Seems as long as they can sleep together and actually say a few lines to each other and basically be in the same room they think they're doing well.

But in my RL experience and in observation those with any depth mostly need at least a year or two min most much longer to not only get over the old but in finding someone new that is actually something special .

[Curiousroxy86]

there are people in the world who cant be single for long and those are people who enter into relationships quickly with hardly any standards besides "do you want to be with me" lol or they were not exactly faithful people and have back up friends that can fill the roll of girlfriend/boyfriend when a relationship ends.

 

and some people at a particular time in their life when they become single have alot of options and dont believe in pining for someone who is an ex for too long. I have had moments like that. I still dont believe in taking unnecessary amount of time over an ex but I also have had dry spells where there is no one im interested enough in yet and would rather remain single for a prolonged amount of time then just be with someone just to have someone.

 

now whether entering in relationships quickly is more prevalent in the west I cant answer that

 

honestly it seems like lately where I am thats its two extremes lol. there are alot of people where I live who stay in relationships for a long time even when its not good to stay or are single for a very long time *shrugs*.

[Springsummer]

OTOH, in an era when women got married in high school, my mom didn't get married until 31 and apparently had quite an interesting single life. She was no bow-wow, more a Rosie the Riveter who modeled professionally besides building airplanes in her 20's. After 32 years of marriage her husband died and she was single until she died. Never saw her with a man and she never talked about a man. She said dad was her one and only. She still had plenty of male attention in her 60's and 70's from what I could see but no interest.

 

 

I REALLY like your mom. so exquisite.

 

Perhaps that underscores one variable to being single a long time, that when it's one choice to be single. That's how it's been with me since getting divorced. Every time I get that mating twinge, I remember what reality is like and nah, plenty of other stuff to do in life. Even the best of relationships take a lot of effort and one must feel that effort is worth the result. Good on those who do.

 

May some day you will meet someone who will make you willing to take the risk.

[Springsummer]

there are people in the world who cant be single for long and those are people who enter into relationships quickly with hardly any standards besides "do you want to be with me" lol or they were not exactly faithful people and have back up friends that can fill the roll of girlfriend/boyfriend when a relationship ends.

 

and some people at a particular time in their life when they become single have alot of options and dont believe in pining for someone who is an ex for too long. I have had moments like that. I still dont believe in taking unnecessary amount of time over an ex but I also have had dry spells where there is no one im interested enough in yet and would rather remain single for a prolonged amount of time then just be with someone just to have someone.

 

 

Make senses

[stillafool]

Most people who break up with someone have already let them go emotionally before they announce the split. They are then ready to move on with someone else. If they have found a person they now want to give their attention to, spend time to get to know, I don't see anything wrong with that. It doesn't make them losers or creepy as a matter of fact I find it healthy that they aren't wallowing in pain over some ex. I think people who spend too much time wallowing in pain and can't move on after a break up are the unhealthy people.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Desparation and low standards. It's like if I want to sell my house today and ask for $100 it would be gone in one second.

[d0nnivain]

Desparation and low standards. It's like if I want to sell my house today and ask for $100 it would be gone in one second.

 

 

True but it's still important to have realistic standards & make your desire known.

 

If your house is worth $300,000 you might consider pricing it at $298,900 & being willing to take $290,000 for a quick sale. On the other hand if you price it at $499,900 you are never going to unload it.

 

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Edited August 9, 2019 by d0nnivain

[Springsummer]

True but it's still important to have realistic standards & make your desire known.

 

If your house is worth $300,000 you might consider pricing it at $298,900 & being willing to take $290,000 for a quick sale. On the other hand if you price it at $499,900 you are never going to unload it.

 

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True, but worth is relative and depend on perception.

 

The same house maybe worth 1 million in one area, but worth very little in another location. The housing price keep increasing in my city, almost 15% annually. What's the intrinsic value of a house?

 

Just saw on the news, one of the kedashian is spending 1 million pound on her birthday. I think there are women out there on the streets and willing to sell their body for a few bucks.

 

Is one person really intrinsically worth 1 billions while some are nothing?

[MetallicHue]

There are some people who are really worth it. Everyone’s worth is relative to other people I do agree with that. You have to find the right person for you. But if you do find the right person it is so worth the investment of time. I know plenty of people who are special from both sexes and would be worth the time for someone.

[Logo]

It depends and it's all relative. In some societies a woman who has some meat on her is considered healthy. In the U.S. she'd be considered overweight.

 

If you want a baseline for what's attractive and what sells fast, look at the role models people in society try to emulate.

 

Who does John Q Public look up to? The man or woman on the cover of a magazine? The cutie on some reality TV show?

 

Once you figure that one out, you can start to emulate those role models because you'll "fit in" like all the cookies on the conveyor belt that came out of the same mold. If you "fit in" you're normal, you're safe, you're cool as **** because you're trendy.

 

As a man, most women I have seen on dating sites want someone who can make them laugh. And that's where the requirements end. Apparently that's all it takes?

 

If you are looking for substance, maturity, or depth, it's going to take a long time for you to find that special someone.

 

That's been my experience in the last couple of years.

[Bantosm]

the more someone has to offer the less the time they will stay single, in general

I disagree because they will naturally become more selective and confidant. Whereas, people who believe they do not have much to offer often feel they need to be in a relationship, regardless of the other person or situation.

[basil67]

Sure, they are more selective and confident, but due to their positive attributes, they will have a broad appeal to many.

[chillii]

I disagree because they will naturally become more selective and confidant. Whereas, people who believe they do not have much to offer often feel they need to be in a relationship, regardless of the other person or situation.

 

 

 

 

Yep fully agree.

As for people that are in something before their divorce is even through , that's often a needy situation that l've seen. Sure they might think they're over their h or w but they still often affair down and it's like grab the first branch on offer and someone to hold their hand getting out of it l've seen , won't go it alone , but in the long run that doesn't usually even work out anyway.

Or the grass is greener stuff, until it dies off that is.

To know your worth and what you want is more reason to wait for something special imo. Your not desperate and you know it.

[basil67]

The flip side of this argument are people who think they are pretty special and end up bitter and alone for years because they are punching above their weight. Most of us really aren’t all that special.