Is it weird that I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my BF?

[Allie95]

My boyfriend (29M) and I (24F) had to say goodbye this morning, because he is going away for a whole year to study abroad.

 

I've known this since April (for about 4 months), and we've really focused on making memories together in the meantime. I decided not to do the airport-goodbye, as it makes me feel uncomfortable, like everyone is watching. Instead we did it at his place. Almost like we usually do in the morning when leaving for work etc.

 

But for some reason I didn't cry when we said goodbye. We hugged, kissed and hugged some more and promised each other to stay in touch. We talked a little, but no tears.

I cried when I got home, though. And I sob a little whenever I think about him being away for a whole year. So much can happen.

 

But I'm concerned as to why I didn't cry!? I had really expected I would, but maybe I've subconsciously been preparing for it.

Is it weird that I didn't cry? Would it make him think, that I don't care about him?

 

He didn't cry either, but I guess it's more normal for women to show emotions...

[d0nnivain]

Everybody processes change differently. You were true to yourself. Don't fixate on some idea that you don't love him just because you didn't turn on the waterworks.

[stillafool]

I'm not a cryer so I probably wouldn't have either. I doubt if your bf noticed this so don't be bothered by it.

[MetallicHue]

Sadly I’m a guy and I cry occasionally but sometimes things don’t affect me anyways. When I left my job with the person I felt comfortable with the most (and oddly the most uncomfortable too) i was really upset but didn’t cry. Other silly stuff I do.

[mark clemson]

You may be in a sort of emotional "shock" and so not processing the sadness fully yet. Sort of like when a child bumps themselves harder than usual - there is a long pause and then they REALLY cry. Suspect you will feel worse as the separation settles in.

 

I could be completely wrong about all this. Either way, don't think it's anything to beat yourself up over.

[preraph]

I agree everyone does it differently. Ever since a little girl, I avoid the big goodbye. In third grade my best friend's dad got transferred to Germany and she called to say goodbye and I wouldn't go to the phone. I feel bad about it, but I just couldn't.

 

When a sort of boyfriend asked me to take him to the airport to move to LA, I told him no. I wasn't going to help him leave.

 

Everyone is different.

[basil67]

No, it's not weird. I'm actually wondering why one would cry in that situation.

[Mr. Lucky]

My boyfriend (29M) and I (24F) had to say goodbye this morning, because he is going away for a whole year to study abroad.

 

Is there a reason why you wouldn't go visit him?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Allie95]

Is there a reason why you wouldn't go visit him?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I will be visiting him. But we haven't set any specific dates yet, as he doesn't know his schedule and what time would fit in best yet.

[Allie95]

You may be in a sort of emotional "shock" and so not processing the sadness fully yet. Sort of like when a child bumps themselves harder than usual - there is a long pause and then they REALLY cry. Suspect you will feel worse as the separation settles in.

 

I could be completely wrong about all this. Either way, don't think it's anything to beat yourself up over.

 

Yes, I fear this too. It has already been hitting me pretty hard, that now he has actually LEFT out homecountry. It's all so weird.

[Allie95]

Thank you guys. You made me feel better. I guess he knows that I love and care for him, even though it wasn't a big, dramatic goodbye. And I think you're right that everyone is different and handles emotions differently

[Gretchen12]

Actually you did cry, you just didn't cry in front of him.

 

I think you had mentally prepared for an emotional and dramatic scene where he would see you cry and be affected. That's why you guys even decided to avoid a public scene at the airport. And now you wonder why you did not cry at the actual parting. It probably just happened too fast.