Arranging things with my wife. Need .

[Leomaga]

It's been 6 months since my wife left the house, after a 2 year marriage.

I'm going to try and put the whole saga in short but brief, the reason after this is because I need help.

So, my wife is Russian and I'm European, we got married and we lived together in a rented appartment. One day we have decided that we move in my parents house so it will be easier to save up enough money to have our own house.

 

Things didn't went well, my wife had a lot of conflicts with my mom and i understand that. I was telling my wife to be patient until we move out. I also wasn't happy living with my parents because it made me feel uncomfortable. By time I was seeing that the priority of saving money was moving in into a second place, since she was getting interested to go for competitions related to her work which obviously required a certain amount of money to take part and time off from her work. By time i was getting frustrated hearing my wife that she isn't happy living in that house and at the sane time i was not seeing her effort to save the money required which was planned before, and it wasn't making any sens for me. (I might be wrong in this one).

 

One day we had to go to Luxembourg for another competition, which we had paid even for her parents everything so they will be there and see their daughter in this competition, I hadn't any issues with this. While we was there we had a conflict and i over reacted after the competition was finished and had a big fight with her mother and her which obviously i didn't make a good impression, ( I didn't do good i know and i regret it, but there was alot of things behind it which in that week we've been there i was getting pissed off and after i exploded).

 

After that their parents were telling us to separate and apparently she did what they have suggested. Also she wasn't telling me what she was up to until one day i found out coincidentally by seeing a message on her phone for a renting flat by herself. (I wasn't checking her phone but in the morning a msg popped up on her phone while i was preparing for work).

 

After that day she moved out. Now it's been 6 months with minimum contact, however around a month ago she required my identification card for her work and she made it clear that if I don't give it to her she will not be able to live here anymore and go back to Russia. We met and she said that she was fighting with her parents not to take the divorce even though they were pushing her, so she sees if I am able to be a better person than i was before.

 

Now the question is this, is she doing this because she really thinks like that or because of her own personal reasons? Since if she goes back she has to start again from scratch for example career and education.

 

She ignores my messages even though she denies it cause she is saying that she is very busy, even to meet she is saying that she cannot meet alot since she's very busy (we meet but not too often approx. once every two weeks). She also said that she is not promising that we will be together. She answers my messages hours later and I'm still blocked from calling her on her phone.

 

Onestly I'm not seeing any effort from her even though I'm trying to show her that things have changed, but with this rhythm it's impossible. I'm also seeing that she is not giving priority to make things better and get back together. I still love her and i truly want to be with her again. However I'm not sure if she is keeping me on hold just to make her own thing like another competition and other stuff with the help of the marriage permit.

 

What is your opinion?? My own goal is to be a better person to her and be with her again, at the end of the day i married her for a reason, because i love her.

 

Is it normal that after 6-7months things are still the same?

 

Thanks for reading

[Normm]

She wants your ID card. Nothing more. I'm surprised she isn't even making an attempt to be nicer given how much is dependent on you giving her that card. You can be difficult about it or hand it over. Maybe use it as a negotiating edge in the divorce if you've got significant assets to split up. But whatever you do don't just sit around waiting for her to somehow "come to her senses" and decide you're the man of her dreams because clearly you are not.

 

Also work on your anger management issues and stop making excuses for your outbursts it won't do you any good in the long run.

[schlumpy]

Let her live the life she wants but without your help and assistance. She knows you have feelings for her and she's hoping it's enough to get her what she wants. If you allow her the use of your card then take a picture of her because it will the last time you see her.

 

As far as she is concerned it will be mission accomplished.

[Leomaga]

She wants your ID card. Nothing more. I'm surprised she isn't even making an attempt to be nicer given how much is dependent on you giving her that card. You can be difficult about it or hand it over. Maybe use it as a negotiating edge in the divorce if you've got significant assets to split up. But whatever you do don't just sit around waiting for her to somehow "come to her senses" and decide you're the man of her dreams because clearly you are not.

 

Also work on your anger management issues and stop making excuses for your outbursts it won't do you any good in the long run.

 

Actually i did give her my ID since I still want to help her, and after that we already met. About my anger management i did alot of changes and yes i feel myself better even handling stress way more better .