printondemand Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 I was severely depressed and turning to alcohol in my early twenties when i met my current girlfriend. I drank till i blacked out every night in college, i was on anti depressants, wanted to kill myself everyday, i was a mess. I had nothing to lose and at a job a family member got me I met my current girlfriend who was interested in me, i was not that into her but i thought if i'm not into her i'll just break it off. I have only had 1 other girlfriend before that in my life and it only lasted 4 months. Anyhow with my lack of relationship experience, you can imagine how this did not play out like i thought in my head, back then. we are about to have our 3 year anniversary and i still have so much doubt in the back of my head, while she wants to marry me and have kids, i told her i don't know if i want kids and she definitely really wants them so i don't know if we will work out... but i don't want to end us prematurely. She is so co dependent on me, i'm her world.. and i do love her. The idea of how a break up would hurt her is even worse then how it would hurt me, but the fact is i'm not that sexually attracted to her and I'm not sure if i will regret it upon marriage or kids. I keep having thoughts of if i was single and dating other girls. I would absolutely never cheat on her but I feel extreme guilt thinking i'm lying to myself thinking she is my future wife... but then i think she is, because you could never hurt her like that, you care too much about her Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 No where in your post do I see "I want to marry her because I love her, want to be with her and look forward to our life together". Marriage is hard enough under the right circumstances - and this ain't it. Probably best to break things off... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted August 10, 2019 Share Posted August 10, 2019 I was severely depressed and turning to alcohol in my early twenties when i met my current girlfriend. I drank till i blacked out every night in college, i was on anti depressants, wanted to kill myself everyday, i was a mess. I had nothing to lose and at a job a family member got me I met my current girlfriend who was interested in me, i was not that into her but i thought if i'm not into her i'll just break it off. I have only had 1 other girlfriend before that in my life and it only lasted 4 months. Anyhow with my lack of relationship experience, you can imagine how this did not play out like i thought in my head, back then. we are about to have our 3 year anniversary and i still have so much doubt in the back of my head, while she wants to marry me and have kids, i told her i don't know if i want kids and she definitely really wants them so i don't know if we will work out... but i don't want to end us prematurely. She is so co dependent on me, i'm her world.. and i do love her. The idea of how a break up would hurt her is even worse then how it would hurt me, but the fact is i'm not that sexually attracted to her and I'm not sure if i will regret it upon marriage or kids. I keep having thoughts of if i was single and dating other girls. I would absolutely never cheat on her but I feel extreme guilt thinking i'm lying to myself thinking she is my future wife... but then i think she is, because you could never hurt her like that, you care too much about her Once this doubt sets in, there's only one way to resolve it. Better to end things sooner rather than later when it will be even harder. Link to post Share on other sites
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