Work Environment

[MetallicHue]

I guess it doesn’t really matter but... it would just be nice if my boss cared why I left early or if people asked how your weekend was or laughed at a joke. Are we all just automatons doing our job? Just looking for the slightest bit of personality at my job not stimulating conversations.

 

Is this unreasonable to expect?

[The Outlaw]

No, it isn't unreasonable. But I rarely get asked about how my weekend was or what I did, but I just go about my business. Some people are just wrapped up in their own lives and just may not think to ask, but break the ice with them and ask them instead if you like. It's a start.

[MetallicHue]

Actually I do very much try. But when no one reciprocates back or initiates I give up.

[alphamale]

dude, switch jobs

[RecentChange]

How long have you worked there?

 

Do you collaborate or work closely with people on projects, or do you all kinda do your own thing?

 

I tend to keep conversations work related - after years working closely with some people we start to divulge and share more.

 

I do introject humor etc - it's part of surviving the work day!.

 

But honestly I don't talk about my outside of work life much with people that I don't work very closely with.

 

I have friends for friend time, and work is generally work time - unless like I said we have built up a close reppore.

[Mr. Lucky]

Is this unreasonable to expect?

 

Large or small company? What field?

 

it would just be nice if my boss cared why I left early

 

Since it might be a personal - or FMLA - matter, most supervisors would wait for you to volunteer such information rather than asking you outright. Sorry, that's the world we live in...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Foxhall]

I think in the last 10-15 years the trend has moved more towards the type of culture you describe, even with us in Ireland,

 

its all very work oriented now and the fun is gone out of it,

 

I worked in a great place seven years ago, they used to love hearing about my (usually unsuccessful) dating adventures and so on at the tea breaks,

 

lost that bit of spirit when I left there,

 

my present occupation-teaching adults-one has to keep their guard at that- I keep a distance and business like- otherwise could end up with a circus.

[MetallicHue]

How long have you worked there? I just started there a little over a month ago. But my past job I was at for 7 months same thing

 

Do you collaborate or work closely with people on projects, or do you all kinda do your own thing? Not too much - we all are remote, past job in person though.

 

I do introject humor etc - it's part of surviving the work day!. Literally no one does past 2 jobs - so serious.

 

I forgot to mention work in a corporate job in the insurance field.

Edited August 13, 2019 by MetallicHue

[Mr. Lucky]

I forgot to mention work in a corporate job in the insurance field.

 

Not exactly known for being the life of the party .

 

Rather than general camaraderie, would it be easier to connect with one or two like souls?

 

Mr. Lucky

[dangerous]

The world has changed in that the vast majority of people are very self centred or only interested in their already established family. Seek out the few more open minded souls. Keep trying but in the meantime, build your own forcefield against others selfishness and lack of interest. Its tough but necessary.

[schlumpy]

Are we all just automatons doing our job? Just looking for the slightest bit of personality at my job not stimulating conversations.

 

Is this unreasonable to expect?

 

I'll assume you are sitting in an office or generic cube with a uniform psychologically researched color in the background to inspire dedication to work.

 

Try pinning up some pictures of your life for people to comment on. Pets are always good for breaking the ice and generating interest. I have a wonderful picture I took back in the 90's when I hiked the Grinnell glacier trail at Glacier national park. The picture looked back across three glacier fed lakes to a hazy end-of-the world horizon. It always got a lot of comments. I'm sure you must have something just as striking to use.

 

If you are a sports fan - pin up team schedules and logos. Proud of your university? Put out some memorabilia.

 

 

The idea is to give people something to talk about that they are curious about or can relate to.

[Maddie82]

These days employers and coworkers rarely give a crap about each other.

[mrs rubble]

These days employers and coworkers rarely give a crap about each other.

I find that really sad.

It's not true where I work luckily. I've just been sent some chocolates and a certificate from the CEO for upholding the company values, one of my co-workers nominated me.

We spend a lot of time in the company of our co-worker's often in small teams, some of us are very close and some of them are a load of fun. One day during a quiet patch I caught some of my colleagues in the middle of a dance lesson, run by one very cool cat....they looked sooo funny bouncing around in their lab coats.

[Tagalz]

I guess it doesn’t really matter but... it would just be nice if my boss cared why I left early or if people asked how your weekend was or laughed at a joke. Are we all just automatons doing our job? Just looking for the slightest bit of personality at my job not stimulating conversations.

 

Is this unreasonable to expect?

 

Hahah! Could not agree more Metallic! At my job people actually do make an effort to ask you questions just to get to know you better. BUT the questions sometimes comes late depending on the person. What I think happends is that co-worker are observing you just to see how you solve situations.. and if they think you did good or a person that looks nice then they might make the effort.

 

I’ve even met co-workers that don’t even make an effort to ask questions or to talk at all and they only open their mouth if they need help or asks for help.

 

It almost feels like they know what kind of person you are just by looking at you or by observing how you react and solve situation.

 

My jobs also have something called «lønningspils» in Norwegian and it means that all of us gets together to drink beer after we got the paycheck.

 

In that setting I could see that they try to make an effort but that’s just because they are out in a bar surrounded by co-workers and suddendly you don’t talk seems a bit weird ya know (:

[preraph]

I think some of it has to do with people having retreated so far into doing everything electronically and forgetting how to be social.

 

But maybe this will cheer you up or at least make you feel like you're not the only one.

 

I took off all last week around my birthday, first time really ever. Took off both my office and home job.

 

So at the office, where I've been 10 years or more, there's a guy only been there a year, who's only duty with me is write me an email in the morning attaached how many files I need to look at that day. Then I decide whether to go in or if it's only a couple, do them at home. He's supposed to do it by 9 a.m. He rarely does do it by 9 a.m. and is full of bad excuses and is often late to work. This morning, he didn't show up and the boss nor his office mate knew why, probably overslept, as usual.

 

Anyway, so last business day before I took off the week, I sat down and told him I was taking off a week and told him to just pull up the daily files and run them by the owner and to try to turn in as many as possible but if the boss flagged one or two that needed to be looked at urgently, save it for when I came back this Monday.

 

So my first day of vacation was Monday before last. I'd just told him all that before the weekend. So Monday, I get an email with a bunch of files attached. He didn't listen to a word I said. And you know why? Because the whole time I was talking, he was thinking up excuses because he screws up constantly and makes up excuses and finds other people to blame. So he didn't even hear me. Too busy thinking up excuses.

 

So I called the boss, who was still at home and sounded sleepy. Asked if he knew where -- call him Bob -- Bob was. He said he hadn't heard from him. I called Bob's office mate and he had no idea but said that on the frequent occasion that he is late, he just basks in having the office to himself and not having to listen to him (he's overly emotional -- cries when he gets busted on something, which is nearly every day and makes excuses and is very annoying.) So that guy did his job for him.

 

So yours don't laugh at your jokes. Mine doesn't even HEAR me because he's such a mess. So I say don't sweat it. You're probably not missing a thing.

[MetallicHue]

Ok so maybe the day I wrote this I was kind of grumpy. But I look at it in a new way. My consultant job turned into a permanent job. And sometimes people do listen to a joke or ask how’s it going. But it’s all really irrelevant as we’re just passing the time. It’s friendly acquaintance s who you don’t talk to outside of work. So why even bother? That’s how my perspective has changed over 4 months. 

[schlumpy]

Although I do know of people that have dozens of what they describe as close friends, I can only maintain two or three people that I open up to. I would contend that my situation is closer to normal for most people. I have a measured amount of time to devote to friendships and it helps if there are common interests because the time I spend on that interest can be folded into the friendship. Sometimes it's taken me as much time as a year to get to a deeper connection.

 

My wife had a bevy of friends at work. They were all purged at the same time and for the first two years would meet ever so often for lunch but that has diminished to a phone call once in awhile. She does have one very close friend that she has lunch with once a month and when she was in rehab she made another friend with a woman who calls her at least five times a week.

 

I only have one friend from work that is hanging on and we email each other, talk once in a while on the phone and have lunch together four times a year. It's just a natural progression when you no longer have shared experiences.

 

Expect less then you are given and you will never be disappointed.

[dispatch3d]

You are already around your coworkers 40 hours a week, and these aren't carefully picked friends from a friend group. I think that's demanding enough socially, and I wouldn't want to hang out EVEN MORE than the 40 hours. Thats my attitude, and I don't think its unreasonable.

 

The people I've considered my friends I typically hang out with a fraction of that time - maybe 10 hours a week. And things typically are much easier to manage, despite getting into a lot of personal stuff. I would assume mostly because there's more time to get headspace between conversations/any unfortunate conflicts/etc.

[MetallicHue]

Yeah no urge to hang out with coworkers and everyone is remote anyway. So that is a non issue. It’s more the former coworkers who are “friends” but can’t put an ounce of effort unless prodded. I reached out to one “friend” twice this week. No response back. Another one completely silent for quite a while. I’ve come to accept they are not really like a true friend like I once thought they were. Maybe with lack of commonality parted ways.