just wondering...

[slightly confused in denver]

ok, this may not seem to be the biggest deal, but it's drving me crazy.... i met this girl in february, we dated pretty much exclusively until a few weeks ago, when school got out. we both went home for the summer, and we live about 3-4 hours away from each other. we arent technically a couple, though we talked about the whole relationship thing and both decided that there's no rush, especially since we're going to be apart from one another for the next couple of months. we still talk every day or every couple of days, and everything seems to be ok. the only thing about it is that she's really close with all of her friends from back home, and she has alot of guy friends back there... i'm normally not the jealous type, but she is the first girl who i've found in a long time that i really really care about...... and i know what happened when all my friends from home and i got back after freshman year, it was like there were no boundaries.... and if i had friends who looked like this girl does God knows i'd be trying my damndest.... so i guess i'm just wondering if anyone has any input, if anyone else had similar experiences after their freshman years, or if (as is likely) i'm just bugging out for no reason

[Maniacal Rationalizer]

You said several things that were very interesting. First you say that you were dating "pretty much exclusively". Then you state that you are not "technically a couple" and you both agreed that there is "no rush" to be in a relationship.

 

It sounds like this relationship is fairly casual. Going on just what you have stated there is no reason for her to believe there is any more from this relationship than casual dating. If you are concerned about actually being in a relationship with this girl perhaps you should tell her how strongly you feel.

 

I also find it interesting that you say you are going to be apart for the next couple of months. If you "really really" care about her then even 3-4 hours away shouldn't be a problem to get together during the summer. I think you should really consider how you feel. Do you love her or is it just the female companionship you are missing?

[slightly confused in denver]

i guess i didnt elaborate enough in my original post. we have talked about being together, and the only reasons we arent is the fact that we are apart for the next couple of months, she said she didn't want to have to feel guilty about not calling me one day, or get upset about me not calling her.

 

also, by "pretty exclusively" i mean the only people we have seen other than each other were those types of situations where a good friend needs a date to a fraternity or sorority formal, on the one occasion she went on such a date she ended up at my place at the end of the night, and the couple of instances where i was the one on the date i simply walked home when the party wrapped up.

 

i'm just really torn up here. i don't want to pressure her to come to visit, or to pester her to let me visit, because i want to let her see her old friends again and have a good time, and even though i'm kinda miserable about this, i'm having a good time seeing my old friends... but i also don't want to lose her, or lose the connection we made over the semester....

 

and as far as the real feeling versus female companionship thing goes, i have thought about that alot...i definitely do miss the simple female companionship, but this is also the first girl in several years that has piqued my interest for being more than just a pretty face. she is everything i'm looking for in a woman right now. i just dont know what to do....

[Maniacal Rationalizer]

If you really feel strongly about taking this relationship farther then perhaps you should call her and setup a time for the both of you to talk about it. I suggest face to face simply because it is more personal than speaking over the phone. Perhaps you can drive up on a Friday and spend part of the weekend together. Whatever you decide you have to be true to yourself. Good luck.