Is this normal?

[jg8407]

I have explained my breakup in a separate thread, but to keep it short: my ex and I had a mutual split because he has very distant/avoidant attachment, and we agreed that he needs to seek therapy if he wants a sliver of a chance with me, or possibly anyone.

 

The first few days, I was a complete mess: loss of appetite, fatigue, and heavy sadness all ravaged me; however, I’m starting to feel awesome only a week and so after the split. The immense pain I felt during the relationship was honestly worse than the pain of the break up. I never felt loved or wanted. I have a chance to feel that way now, and it makes me excited for the future. I’m unsure if this sentiment is normal, but I am not upset with it.

 

I am completely unsure if my future will include my ex. He said he would like to reconnect if we cross paths (not completely sure what his intentions are with that), but I’m unsure if I’d give him the chance; he would have to prove he has changed. I hope he does rid of his attachment issues because I really do not think it is possible to have a lasting relationship with such distance. I wish him well.

 

tl;dr:

Was super depressed a few days after the breakup, but now I feel pretty happy. Is it normal to feel such bliss so soon?

[Reznar]

It's possible that the immense pain you felt during the relationship caused you to feel relief after the breakup, thus you feel awesome now. Of course, you will still have your ups and downs, but it is pretty normal to feel like this if you were really unhappy.

 

A few years ago my ex gf broke up with me and i felt awesome almost instantly too, because i was unhappy in the relationship and i wanted to be single again. After we broke up, i felt extreme happiness and i never looked back since.

[ExpatInItaly]

It is normal to have significant ups and downs after a break-up, yes.

 

You are riding the wave of confidence now, which feels good. Just be aware that it might not last long before the sadness sets in again. It's not necessarily a given, but I would brace for it. It's not unusual to feel bad for a few days, then great for a few days, lather, rinse, repeat. It will eventually stabilize, though, as more time passes.

[SumGuy]

...

 

tl;dr:

Was super depressed a few days after the breakup, but now I feel pretty happy. Is it normal to feel such bliss so soon?

 

 

 

I think it is normal to feel relief or even bliss. I suspect that you have been processing the depression, and loss of this relationship, for sometime and that the official break-up only came after you tried to make things better and then realized they were not going to get better.

 

 

I say that because that is how it works for me. The mourning for the relationship tends to happen when trying to improve it yet without success. There is still a deep sense of loss when it ends, then you pick yourself up and find relief in the fact that the intractable and saddening situation you were in is over. You may still experience sadness as from time to time, but if your like me, you don't spend too much time in the land of "what if" because you tried fully and honestly when you were in the relationship.

[stillafool]

I think it's normal to feel relief as the dumper. You have been thinking about ending it for a while I bet and constantly noticing his negative traits. In my experience; and I'm probably a lot older than you, people don't change so don't waste your time waiting for that. Find a man you're compatible with and be happy.