EAM19 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Basically, my ex and I had a really messy breakup that neither of us wanted. It was kind of circumstantial where he is young and wanted to travel for a long time and thought we could stay together, but I didn't want to go that long without each other. He handled things badly and it broke my heart. Last week we saw each other for the first time in a while whilst at a bar with mutual friends. We had been drinking and he approached me and apologised, said he didn't want to break up at all (something he has also said in a brief conversation we had about 2 months ago) and said he wished he could start over. We ended up having a bit of an argument over the way he handled things and I sent him a firm message the next day (angry) and said he should either speak to me sober or not at all, and he replied that he didn't remember the night but was sorry for upsetting me (in my experience however he was not drunk enough to not remember). He has always been a bit bad at communicating, took him getting drunk to ask to be official as he was nervous. As much as I was hurt, our relationship was good and I am the first person he has ever been really serious about (his friends all told me). I just feel like if I bring up what he said and ask what he means he'll just avoid it. I would like to start over where we can just be more open with each other but I don't know if I should suggest this. My family and friends watched me be heartbroken and I'm scared they'll judge me for wanting this. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Is he back or still traveling? If he's back & you want to reconcile you may have to reach out at this point. You shut him down pretty hard for fumbling his apology. Yes, I realize you are angry & upset but that anger is in your way right now. He's not going to try to get past it again so the ball is in your court. Own your mistake -- shooting from the hip in anger -- & listen to what he has to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EAM19 Posted August 15, 2019 Author Share Posted August 15, 2019 Thank you, part of me feels like I did act out of anger and confusion. But also I was slightly drunk and so was he and I don't know if I should take seriously what he said. He is back, we go back to uni soon and we were slightly long distance (2 hours) but it was never a problem when we were together Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 How exactly did he "handle things"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EAM19 Posted August 15, 2019 Author Share Posted August 15, 2019 How exactly did he "handle things"? We ended up breaking up over the phone after we'd just had lunch because I didn't feel right about things. I then asked a few days later if we could have a conversation so I could understand things and he said we could then spent 2 days saying we could talk and then ignoring me when I rang. He didn't know what to do and I get that but it was fairly distressing for me as I hadn't seen a side to him that would treat me like that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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