Fitzroy Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Hi, I just found out my brother-in-law and his wife are separating. I like them both and they have great kids and I find this to be very unfortunate. I see no reason to take sides. He has decided to leave and I'm sure his wife is probably very unhappy about this. I know her well enough and am wondering if it is appropriate to simply text her to let her know I'm sorry to hear that this is happening. I'd like to do the same for him. Not sure if it's best to just stay away or to offer support at this stage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiritedaway2003 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Hi, I just found out my brother-in-law and his wife are separating. I like them both and they have great kids and I find this to be very unfortunate. I see no reason to take sides. He has decided to leave and I'm sure his wife is probably very unhappy about this. I know her well enough and am wondering if it is appropriate to simply text her to let her know I'm sorry to hear that this is happening. I'd like to do the same for him. Not sure if it's best to just stay away or to offer support at this stage. People always take sides during a separation, but here's the thing: Both need support. That is very nice of you to reach out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 A short note to both is appropriate just pay attention to the timing. Wait till things calm down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 I know her well enough and am wondering if it is appropriate to simply text her to let her know I'm sorry to hear that this is happening. I'd like to do the same for him. Not sure if it's best to just stay away or to offer support at this stage. You should at least consider the possibility she may respond and want to involve you in a discussion about the relationship. Your initial instincts are sound, just be careful down the road. As has been said, almost impossible to be neutral through the whole process when one of the parties is a sibling... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Fitzroy, Speaking from personal experience, all the genuine support that you can offer will be so very much appreciated on both sides. For your own (psychological) safety and protection, let each one know that you have absolutely no intentions of judging ('taking sides'), one way or the other... ...and that, if either one expects that from you, then they are 'sealing their own fate' as far as your own continued support. That is, ONLY 'stay away' from the people who will try to take advantage of your own loving and compassionate nature. (If that makes sense?) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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