Having TOO MUCH in common with someone.

[E-Squared]

I have been told by friends and family that I would never want to meet someone who has too much in common with me, or "worse," a version of me who is the opposite gender. Granted, it would be kind of scary to meet a female version of me, but some have also said that it would be too boring if I met someone who had the exact same interests and/or characteristics as myself.

 

It wouldn't be bad to meet someone who had similar interests, but then there are also couples out there with nothing in common, as well as the "opposites attract" theory. Of course, there are women that I have come across in OLD that I wouldn't want even to consider, being that some of them are not only rather picky and have some unrealistic standards, but I don't think that I would be able to connect with them. Of course, there are exceptions and surprises, as there are men and women out there who seem a certain way at first glance but once they get to know the person, he or she turns out to be different than initially perceived.

 

I have talked with some women who I have things in common with, but things didn't work out (Losing contact, someone moving to another state but remained in contact, etc.). But where do you draw the line when someone has too much in common with you?

[Els]

Realistically, nobody (of any gender) will be exactly the same as you, so if you're worrying about that, you can take it off the list.

 

 

For me, it can never be "too much" as far as interests go. "Opposites attract", to me, means complementary relationship/interaction styles - for instance, if someone prefers listening rather than talking, it might help to have a partner who enjoys talking.

[MetallicHue]

I think this is the case of over analysis. Falling in love at least for me had nothing to do with interests. We were complete opposites in many ways but what drew me together was the connection/chemistry whatever you want to call it. We simply really enjoyed each other’s company and fell for each other. Love is an intangible that is hard to categorize. Still that said if people have fundamental belief differences about how they want to live their life that will obviously be a problem. But even there there are shades of gray and people may be willing to bend.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Why would you want to 'draw a line' with anyone who you shared lots of common interest? Seems a bit ridiculous to me cancel someone out because of it.

 

I agree with MetallicHue in that falling in love for ME, is so much more than how much we have in common...or not. It's not so black and white.

 

Yes, the more things you have in common the better and easier things are in my opinion but I've also been wildly attracted to men who were complete opposites to me as well.

 

There is no guaranteed formula for success when it comes to men and women.

 

There are just some things you can't control or explain, it just is.

[chillii]

Yeah l agree, you can't go drawing lines because anything can happen and anything can just work sometimes, despite whatever.

Same with so much in common it could make you but then again it could break you too, as a couple, time will tell.

For me personally , in common and like mindedness is a must for a few big things , like my lifestyle and some of my weirdness, views. Any big things about you can often cause big shyt if your not like minded, but you don't need to be twins in everything else, the differences can even actually be quite nice and even add to you as a couple.

[central]

The more you have in common, the smoother and easier the relationship. Less time fighting and negotiating, more time enjoying!

 

Opposites may attract out of curiosity, but such relationships are often difficult and contentious. Some people clearly make them work, but it's work!

[alphamale]

you will NEVER meet someone who has 100% in common with you

 

there, now you can sleep more comfortably

[snowcones]

What does having "too much in common" mean? As far as interests go, I would LOVE to meet a man who shares the same interests. That would be amazing. I have never met that man. As far as being too much alike, there are certain traits that I have that I have learned that I get along better with men who are my complement or opposite. When we are both too much alike, it just ends up being too much and with no balance. Basically, out of control. Lol

[chillii]

You just explained the answer to your own question snowc.

[snowcones]

You just explained the answer to your own question snowc.

 

 

*does a happy dance*

[elaine567]

As far as being too much alike, there are certain traits that I have that I have learned that I get along better with men who are my complement or opposite. When we are both too much alike, it just ends up being too much and with no balance. Basically, out of control. Lol

 

I guess it depends on the traits you have whether or not you need "balanced out" or not.

[Mysterio]

I love having stuff in common with people. I had a female friend JT. I feel our friendship dissolved because we are very different people. I actually have nothing in common, except that we are ethnically Black/ same birth year.

 

We listen to different music/our views on the world is different. She comes off to me like The World is hard in every aspect of her life.