Jesse19 Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 So i have recently changed departments at work and have started to get to know new people. One of these is a guy who i have known for a few years but we've never really spoken until this year. He asked me out the other week for drinks which i went to willing to get to know him more as he seemed like a nice person, not my usual type but i can always get over that. I had a nice time but couldn't work out whether i liked him in a relationship type of way again i was willing to see him more to see if anything develops. Anyway cut to today, I went out with another work friend who is a guy but we are very much just friends. we had been saying for years we should go out to this particular restaurant but have never had the time until now and i am looking for another job so i may not see half my work friends if i do move so i am making the most of it. He put we were out on Facebook and now all hell has let loose. The guy i went for drinks with is upset because I've hung out with someone else and instead of contacting me, he's gone through mutual friends who have kicked off! I have explained it's just friends but he's refusing to talk now. So here i am now annoyed and upset because: 1. Why cant i go out with males who are very much friends and 2. I am not in a relationship with this guy and i am annoyed with myself that i am getting upset over something so ridiculous. Also it's making me think if we were a couple what would he be like? would he be jealous of all my friends and not not let me see them. What does everyone think? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 I think he's a passive aggressive stage 5 clinger. Move along and don't give him any more attention. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Do him a favor and don't see him anymore. He thought he had found someone and let his fantasy get the better of him when he discovered he was wrong. It was probably like someone dropping a brick on his head unseen until he saw it. He's acting out of hurt but you should walk away. He'll get over it. It's his problem not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted August 15, 2019 Share Posted August 15, 2019 Agreed, drop him. There's nothing wrong with going out with male friends who are just that, friends. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Oh, you're absolutely right. Best you found out early. He has no right to be blowing up causing drama after one little drink. Lord. So it wouldn't have worked anyway. Now the good thing is if people at work corner you about it, you just say, Jeez, are you serious? We had ONE drink after work and nothing happened and nothing is going to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesse19 Posted August 16, 2019 Author Share Posted August 16, 2019 (edited) So little update on the situation. The guy I went to lunch with has started acting really weird. He paid for the lunch and is now asking why? I did say I would of payed for my half and still will but now he’s completely ignorning me as well and being all strange. Also I have found out he knew this other guy liked me and also a few other people know, so now I don’t know what to think. I’ve decided now I’m still looking for a new job (have an interview soon) I’ll give him my half of the bill before I leave and I’m contemplating forgetting the both of them. I’m so confused Just wanted any extra thoughts on this. Edited August 16, 2019 by Jesse19 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 A quick assessment would be that your "friend" has romantic feelings for you. He got jealous about the other guy you had a drink with. Talked you into a lunch where he could take lots of pictures and post them to make the other guy go nuts. Do you always have this effect on the mental stability of the men around you and do you enjoy it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I hope the last question was a joke. But feel spot on about the assessment Schlump. If she’s trying to leave I take it not enjoying the extra attention. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I hope the last question was a joke. But feel spot on about the assessment Schlump. If she’s trying to leave I take it not enjoying the extra attention. Sometimes I attempt to use humor to get a point across. It's always fraught with danger as everyone has a different button to push as to what is amusing. I keep forgetting to use emojis. I have to keep up with the times we live in. I have to admit the idea of two women sparring over little old me does offer a pleasant moment until my wife asks me what I'm smiling about. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Just pay the guy your half of the bill and forget about it. Be glad you're leaving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Flame Aura Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 So little update on the situation. The guy I went to lunch with has started acting really weird. He paid for the lunch and is now asking why? I did say I would of payed for my half and still will but now he’s completely ignorning me as well and being all strange. Also I have found out he knew this other guy liked me and also a few other people know, so now I don’t know what to think. I’ve decided now I’m still looking for a new job (have an interview soon) I’ll give him my half of the bill before I leave and I’m contemplating forgetting the both of them. I’m so confused Just wanted any extra thoughts on this. Both of them sound very immature not to mention inexperienced when it comes to women. The 2nd guy you want to lunch with probably thought it was the first step towards going on a date with you, and when he found out you went out with the 1st guy, he realised he had no chance and suddenly thought why did he waste money paying for your lunch if he was getting nothing back. Yes you should forget them both, they are still boys, not men. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I don't like that the first guy has now moved in even harder on you . It sounds like he's the type thinks he can force himself on a woman by being persistent. I would certainly not accept any more invitations from him. Just say "No, thanks" and don't elaborate. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 That isn't good. Best to just let him go the best way you can. Obviously he felt more strongly about that one time than you did. Link to post Share on other sites
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