Is it time to finally leave ?

[turmoilwithmoney]

My bf and I of almost 8 years do love each other but sometimes I just don't want to be with him. This is a feeling I've had for a while.

 

 

I have very mixed emotions with the relationship. While we really enjoy each other's company and I can feel "secure", what I see as his somewhat unstable money issues are always there especially now that he wants to live in my home.

 

 

 

He doesn't throw money away but he earns a modest salary and manages to spend all of it just braking even on bills. We discussed him contributing if he lives with me and he makes certain statements that I believe are targeted to make me feel guilty about asking for much money (compared to what I feel is fair for both of us based on the expenses and pro rata incomes). Yes, I know something is better than nothing but is that fair to me??? NOOOOO.

 

Unless we continue to live in separate abodes, I see no other future for us and frankly, that wouldn't be my first choice.

 

 

Is it time to walk away even though love is hard to find?

[FMW]

I don't agree that something is better than nothing. If you really believe that then that will be a big part of your consideration in whether to continue or not.

 

It seems that you aren't thinking that either though. It sounds like you think he feels entitled to be taken care of financially. I certainly would not be cool with that. That's a mindset that likely negatively effects the non-financial aspects of your relationship as well.

[Turning point]

IMHO these are the defining questions to consider:

 

What is he doing to better his own income?

What is he likely to do with his money should his income grow?

 

Evaluate these with honestly and without sympathy or longing for something outside of this financial picture.

 

If the answers are not solidly positive, then consider this:

 

Do you want to be supporting him for the rest of your life?

 

You won't be enjoying his company in the future if he becomes no more than a sidekick devouring fruits of your labor.

Edited August 16, 2019 by Turning point

[Mr. Lucky]

My bf and I of almost 8 years do love each other

 

After 8 years, how do you love someone you respect and trust so little - and deservedly so? Seems like a long time to have your life stuck in neutral...

 

Mr. Lucky

[JackieDaniels1977]

My bf and I of almost 8 years do love each other but sometimes I just don't want to be with him. This is a feeling I've had for a while.

 

 

I have very mixed emotions with the relationship. While we really enjoy each other's company and I can feel "secure", what I see as his somewhat unstable money issues are always there especially now that he wants to live in my home.

 

 

 

He doesn't throw money away but he earns a modest salary and manages to spend all of it just braking even on bills. We discussed him contributing if he lives with me and he makes certain statements that I believe are targeted to make me feel guilty about asking for much money (compared to what I feel is fair for both of us based on the expenses and pro rata incomes). Yes, I know something is better than nothing but is that fair to me??? NOOOOO.

 

Unless we continue to live in separate abodes, I see no other future for us and frankly, that wouldn't be my first choice.

 

 

Is it time to walk away even though love is hard to find?

 

Is he paying rent where he lives now? two does he spend money on you? three how much money is being spent between the two of you going to and from your different places. You should sit down and look at his bills and see how much money he would not be paying out it he move's in with you. that's one thing the should be looked at. the other question is do you really love him or are you just comfortable with him. are you happy to be with him? and could you live with out him? because its more then just how much money he has before he moves in, Your moving someone you say you love in. He can always find a better job. but can you find a better person to be with.