Noone17 Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 I'm in my late 40's and I've been cheating on my husband since June of this year, first time happened with a co-worker, second time happened with someone I met online just yesterday. I'm so bored, my husband is always moping around about something, the only time he wants to do anything with me is when he's drunk (which isn't often) I try to be positive and make him feel better, it's frustrating. I've never ever cheated and I feel like total crap. Anyone else in the same boat? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Not I, but if I may make a suggestion you might strongly consider whether to simply divorce. If you keep having random affairs like this it's likely to be discovered sooner or later, which would bring things to a head anyhow. If you're truly simply sick of your H, no longer love him, and wish to leave, you could consider sparing him the (sometimes severe) distress and humiliation of a Dday. "Exit affairs" are a thing and I get the sense this is what you may be doing, perhaps unconsciously? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Anyone else in the same boat? All ya gotta do is read other threads in this sub forum and you'll find other to commiserate with. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Yes, I'm sure a divorce in your case will make you feel better. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 Divorce or go to counseling, but I'm afraid once you've cheated, he'll be not wanting to go to counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 16, 2019 Share Posted August 16, 2019 (edited) I try to be positive and make him feel better, it's frustrating How do you think cheating on your husband - twice - is going to improve the situation? Seriously, if you are unhappy in your marriage, you have the right to a divorce. You don’t have the right to cheat, repeatedly. You can’t even claim that you accomplished your goal - here you are posting on a message board that you feel miserable having discovered that there is not much happiness to be found in a one night stand. Or perhaps, your goal was to stick it to your husband... in which case, I suppose you really got him good! Edited August 16, 2019 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Not in your position and never will be. If it is so bad with your husband why not just divorce him. Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Well if he hasn’t got a medical condition (depression, bipolar etc). Then please tell him of your actions and ask for a D. Better you be happy than remain in limbo. If he has a medical condition then seek assistance for you both. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 You should have a discussion with your husband about your infidelities. He should be made aware that whether he wants it or not he is now a part of an open relationship. That way he can give some thought to disease prevention. He may see this as a soul crushing moment or he may see it as an opportunity. It could very well be that after that conversation you will find out that your husband isn't as quite as inept sexually as you would have us believe. Then a couple months down the road you will reappear but with an entirely different complaint. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 I'm in my late 40's and I've been cheating on my husband since June of this year, first time happened with a co-worker, second time happened with someone I met online just yesterday. I'm so bored, my husband is always moping around about something, the only time he wants to do anything with me is when he's drunk (which isn't often) I try to be positive and make him feel better, it's frustrating. I've never ever cheated and I feel like total crap. Anyone else in the same boat? What makes you think bringing a third person into an already troubled marriage will make things better? Do you have children, if yes, does seeing them part time sound like something you want? You stand to loose a lot aside from all the health risks your putting yourself and your husband in. I am in that world that deals with HIV, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B and I can tell you that even if you wear a condom there are things that will kill you. If you want to take yourself down at least have the courtesy to set your husband free. No one wins when you cheat, the more it happens the higher the odds are against you. Tell him the truth that you want out or think about getting help, find out why your where you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted October 10, 2019 Share Posted October 10, 2019 Communicate with him or leave, he may change his ways once he understands your loneliness. IC for both of you. However; bringing in a third or Forth party into your marriage won’t help at all. Pleas go N.C. with AP (both) or have BS served with D papers, so he can have a marriage partner who is there for him. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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