Ms. Dlight Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 Hi, I'm new to LoveShack and don't yet know my way around. I want to discuss gaslighting, which I believe I experienced from my mother, who died at age 88, 4 months ago. The guilt is very real that I'm grieving for my mother but also have suspected in the last couple years that she may have had some narcissistic qualities and she gaslighted me frequently. Is there a specific forum for victims of gaslighting? I'm a 60 year old mother of 2 daughters, 2 stepdaughters, and a grandmother of 3 - 2 young boys and a 3 month old girl. I have depression and some anxiety but I manage a good, functional life and very good relationships with my family. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 You'd probably have to be a little more specific, both in terms of means and intent. Gaslighting implies intentional misleading with an end goal of making you doubt your own sanity. How did your mom do this - and why? And since she's passed away, why is this important to you now? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Dlight Posted August 17, 2019 Author Share Posted August 17, 2019 If you have to ask why my concerns are important to me now that my mother's passed away, you are obviously unaware of the issues that can haunt people when a family member dies. Just because someone has died, it doesnt mean that the complexities of the relationship also die with that person. I'm not going to go into specifics with you. I don't like your tone. Gaslighting has taken on a broader meaning in recent years - I've seen some definitions that include unintentional gaslighting. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 17, 2019 Share Posted August 17, 2019 (edited) I too wonder what you would have to gain from staying focused on the past... but after your response to Mr Lucky, I’m going to pass on this discussion... Good luck to you. Edited August 17, 2019 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ms. Dlight Posted August 17, 2019 Author Share Posted August 17, 2019 Well, gee. I didn't expect such sanctimoniousness straight out of the gate. Im happy for you that things are in clear focus after your mother died. That's not the case with me, nor with everyone. I'm trying to explore if what I experienced is, in fact, gaslighting. I'm not sure. But I'm sure as hell not going to open up about it with these two replies to look at. Simply put: you are not helping. You're seeing things from your your lens only. That shows a clear lack of empathy. My experience is not yours to judge. This clearly is not the board for me. Thanks just the same. Im moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
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