Now I'm a role model?

[BaileyB]

Even if it was an offense, someone would have to complain...and people know better around here.

 

Of all that you have written, I find this statement most concerning.

 

I work with CPS everyday. The system is far from perfect, I have actually called CPS to share concerns about the safety of a child - in a foster home. I know for a fact that children run away from CPS, and some get involved in other very unsafe activities. But still, the idea that CPS is involved in human trafficking is preposterous.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Perhaps MM meant CPS is complicit in it, not necessarily actively advancing the work of human traffickers....?

[BaileyB]

MM’s opinions are pretty clear...

 

I spent most of my childhood and teenage years covering up my living conditions and protecting my abusive parents so that CPS wouldn't take me and my sister and sell us somewhere.

 

I don't have language strong enough or permissible on this forum to describe my hatred for that criminal organization.

 

CPS is a funnel for human trafficking. I decided that I would fight to the death if they came for me and my sister.

 

CPS is evil. This nation will be judged by God for allowing such shameful things to continue.

Edited August 23, 2019 by BaileyB

[major_merrick]

I'm very fascinated by the way you live. What does "independent community" mean? Is it part of a larger network of "independent communities?" If you still pay taxes, how is it independent? What makes it different than just living in a, say, typical neighborhood?

We seek to be as independent as possible from the government system. Our people don't take government jobs or welfare. For example, my husband has refused to run for the office of sheriff in our county. He'd probably win, but it goes against his priorities and his conscience. We don't call the police and we only use the court system when dealing with unbelievers as we have our own system of conflict resolution. We barter and produce our own stuff where possible. If someone has an urgent need, the community takes care of that. We aren't socialists or communists, but we help others if something goes wrong (that's where helping this young couple comes in.) And that isn't always limited to our own people. When our nearest neighbors' house got destroyed by a tornado and fire last year, they moved in with us for a while and we helped them rebuild.

 

Yes, we pay taxes. Jesus was pretty clear about "render to Caesar" when it comes to Caesar's coinage. We don't think taxes are right, but not much we can do about that. But where possible, we separate from the traditional economy, or figure out ahead of time what Caesar is going to take and write that off as a loss. Our group pays property tax for our temple, as we cannot be a 501c3 nonprofit. We try to obey the law, although we view the current US government as an illegitimate travesty. There are definitely times where heavenly law and man's law are in conflict. That's where passive or active resistance is necessary, and the degree of resistance is dictated by the situation.

 

 

When I lived in a commune, it was much more centralized and organized than this community. In that place, it was like a network of compounds, a single designated leader, military ranks, etc... Our community is kind of halfway between a typical neighborhood and commune/compound life. We don't live all clustered together, although we're in the same general area. By doing so, I think we get the benefits of both kinds of living. We're more inter-connected and more secure, but not isolationist.

 

And this isn't odd for our area. There's a couple of communes in our county, and churches that have varying degrees of connectedness that are more intense than what you see elsewhere. These groups also form a significant part of the local economy, and we know each other and sometimes work together even though our beliefs differ somewhat. We're normal for the area where we live, but somewhat odd for the nearby city where we work. Our county has a somewhat undeserved reputation as a "no-go zone" for city folk, leftists, and university types.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Our county has a somewhat undeserved reputation as a "no-go zone" for city folk, leftists, and university types.

 

Thanks for sharing, MM. Why do you think this reputation is undeserved?

 

In terms of size, it is like a Native American reservation or more like an amusement park or sprawling shopping mall? Do you raise your own cattle to eat?

[major_merrick]

Perhaps MM meant CPS is complicit in it, not necessarily actively advancing the work of human traffickers....?

 

 

Nope. I'll say it clearly. They actively advance the work of human traffickers, and are rewarded by Uncle Sam - incentives for seizing more children. Children can then be placed in foster care, adopted, and often times those things are covers for trafficking. And even if that wasn't happening, the process that CPS uses is still a violation of due process, as they can remove kids either temporarily or permanently without a jury trial.

 

 

Thanks for sharing, MM. Why do you think this reputation is undeserved?

Most of the people who lived here in during the Civil War were Confederates, including my husband's ancestors. And many of them never surrendered or swore an oath of allegiance after the war. And family feuds (Hatfield McCoy style) were common until the 1950's. Minorities are still scared to come out here because of past Klan history, but people here are pretty accepting. My husband's other wives are Hispanic and Vietnamese and he has mixed kids...nobody cares.

Edited August 23, 2019 by major_merrick

[amaysngrace]

I really don’t know what you can teach her as far as mothering goes. You had an abusive mother and have been a mom yourself for just over a year.

 

Plus you all lock children in shared bedrooms.

 

Teach her whatever you want like changing oil in a car but as far as mothering goes you’re clueless at one year in, especially when you have like six other women doing the work for you so you are barely doing it at all.

 

Don’t sugarcoat it into something it’s not though. If anyone could help the girl adjust to marriage and motherhood it’d be his first wife.

[major_merrick]

amaysngrace, what you said echoes some of my own concerns. But I've been through two pregnancies, so I can deal with some of those immediate issues. I'll definitely enlist Wife #1's help. She's been pretty stable lately and we hang out a lot, so I'm sure she won't mind.

[amaysngrace]

The thing that really concerns me, well really many things do, but one of the biggest is I’m not sure you have a strong handle on right from wrong when it comes to parenting.

 

In fact, I’m not sure that anybody there does. It’s as if you’re all popping out kids to benefit some greater cause of increasing population. Then they’re isolated and taught to fear the world and to be prepared for all the bad things out there.

 

It’s horrible to deliberately instill such fear into little children. I’m not sure how it’s much different than what your own parents put you through except for the safety factor since you live in a fortress but even you were loyal to your parents where outsiders were concerned, given your example of CPS.

 

How is it any different when paranoia is the same end result?

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Agree, AG. Nurturing seems to be very low on the list, if it's there at all.

[major_merrick]

Increasing our population isn't wrong - it is a command from God. We obey, to the best of our ability, with other concerns such as finances and health in mind. And fear isn't a bad thing. Fear is healthy when it is logical. It is logical to be afraid of forces that can murder you or break up your family, and irresponsible not to take action against those things. It is logical to avoid unhealthy influences. It is logical to teach your children how to succeed in life and maintain your family and community values. It is logical to protect young children who are naturally innocent, trusting, and gullible. It is logical to teach them early in life to obey basic safety rules such as "don't touch the stove," "don't go outside at night," "don't open the door," "don't talk to strangers," and "never speak to a policeman."

 

I protected my parents in spite of their abuse because I knew that there were things outside our home that were much worse. I also understood that by enduring more suffering myself, I could reduce or eliminate my sister's suffering. I got beaten, she didn't. I went without food so she could eat. Ultimately, I gained custody of her and finished raising her myself. Life sometimes doesn't give you good options, so you do the best with what you have. Overall, I think I've done the right thing in spite of my background.

[pepperbird]

|If this community truly card about this boy and girl and not just getting itself two new members, they would encourage them to seek counseling from an independent source such as a licensed counselor. It would be trying to help them explore ALL their options, and the fact that it is actively encouraging two teens to get married instead of seeing what other choices they have and then supporting that choice speaks volumes. Why the big rush to get married? Why not encourage them to wait a bit and see how their relationship progresses?

 

 

 

As for CPS, I have perosnal experience in the Canadian version and lost of input from those who have spent time in the American system. I can assure you that "sex trafficking" was never an issue. While many of the foster homes weren't great, they were better than what they were taken out of.

 

 

 

I also don't get this view that "it's either us or the CPS...". There are a TON of agencies out there, many of them with no government affiliation beyond their tax exempt status as a registered charity who can actually offer UNBIASED assistance and support to this couple. Why not direct them to one of those. That way, they can get off to the bets possible start, and who knows? They may even decide to join your community anyway, and if they do, it will be because they freely chose to. not because she's pregnant, has no family support and feels backed into a corner and is likley terrified out of her mind about what she's going to do. Encouraging her to get married under those circumstances is really sketchy, and makes me think it;s got nothing to do with it being what;s right for her..it's what's right for the community.

[nospam99]

OP, I believe that you would be a fine role model for the young woman in question. Perhaps the greatest gift of wisdom that 'mature' people can pass down to their 'padawans' is the willingness to question the status quo, to 'look under a rock or under the hood' of our society and make their own independent value judgements and decisions. You are among the increasing rare subset of society that has that willingness and may be in a situation where you can pass it down. Good luck.

[pepperbird]

The group you are in may be your pseudo family, replacing the one you say was so horrible. That worked out for you, but you had the chance to figure all this out on your own. Why not give her the same opportunity? Let her decide, at a time when she's not so vulnerable, whether or not the community is right for her. After all, you want her to be a member because it's what she wants, not because she feels she has no other option.