Is she "Still Married"?

[Beendaredonedat]

I agree with the basic message of many of the posters here:

She IS still married, and it's more than a matter of simple administration.

Whatever the actual details may be, in her mind, in his mind, in the eyes of the law, its a very messy situation.

And yes, she is looking for a ticket out, but unsure about taking the next steps herself.

 

Thanks everyone, this has really helped.

So what does this mean in regards to you and your decision to keep on with her? Are you going to be (IMO) the smart one and not see her again with the addendum that if she's ever single and living away from her husband to call you and you'll take her out to dinner, or are you going to be (IMO) foolish and continue on with her in a White Knight Syndrome dynamic?

 

She sounds unhinged and in response to the post above this one, keep your life simple, Op: Don't do crazy!

We tend to be attracted to those that are slightly above or slightly below our own mental/psychological level so if you're doing crazy, whats that say about you (the general you).

Edited September 22, 2019 by Beendaredonedat

[salparadise]

So we finally met up.

Went on a doggy date to the beach.

 

One thing I'll say, which may or may not tie into anything else, its that she's a bit ditzy.

 

She IS still married, and it's more than a matter of simple administration.

Whatever the actual details may be, in her mind, in his mind, in the eyes of the law, its a very messy situation.

And yes, she is looking for a ticket out, but unsure about taking the next steps herself.

 

I don't see what all the indecision is all about. Why are you taking any of this seriously? Okay, I get that you would like to have a woman of your own, and she's attractive and willing. But getting seriously involved with this mess is just phukking nuts. Personally, I'd just pass on it altogether, but if opportunities are few and far between in Australia it factors into the equation.

 

There are basically three options:

1. Walk away and tell her to give you a call if she ever gets free.

2. A limited engagement wherein you get laid and have some fun, but commit to nothing and do not get sucked in emotionally.

3. Surrender your sanity on the unlikely prospect that it may work out to be happily ever after scenario.

 

Do you not have options?

[notbroken]

So you are wondering if you should see a 'ditzy' (your words) woman who is still married and has no assets? That is a hard NO. Just too much trouble and hard to see a good ending for you or anyone else. There are lots of single women in the world. Find one. Stay away from 'technically still married' or any other sort of married.

 

She is monkey branching and needs someone to rescue her from the huge mess she is in. Just don't see even one reason why you'd want to become a part of that.

[Mr. Lucky]

As to this idea of worrying about happily ever after, and falling head over heels and all the rest. I encourage you to ease up on thinking about the future.

 

Agreed. Not sure how you entertain thoughts of family and marriage when you haven’t met yet.

 

Also Big Aus, in another thread you were bemoaning the financial choices of a young woman you were dating.

 

This is a step up from that ?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Starswillshine]

So you describe her as ditzy and her life seems to be a bit of a mess. AND she brought her son on her first meet up with you.... add to all of this... she is married.

 

Hmmmm....