Why did he suddenly stop talking?

[Lostsoul1]

So there is an old friend that i lost touch with around 10 years ago. We met eachother coincidentaly last year Summer 18, in a city where he recently moved to. We met for coffee and he showed me around town. We got along well , because we had similar interessts. It wasnt flirty though. We are both in relationships.

Anyway after i went back home we stayed loosley in touch. Some months we havent talked. Then recently about a month ago. We reconnected. He started it off by saying hi and asking for some legal advice. After that we ended up talking about our hobbies etc. He seemed very interessted in my life and was always waiting for me to call him back. Always had an ear open for me. He was eager to see me again and asked me when would be the best time to visit? I said in autumnn and he said he marked that down.

So last week saturday he asked me what im doing and i said i gotta go to sleep and the next day i asked him how his work situation is going ( he has been struggling abit) and he just replied with one worded answers and his last message was " i will tell you more about it on the phone". That was over a week ago. He hasnt messaged me since.HOWEVER he still checks on all my whatsapp statuses as soon i post one. I extra posted a quote of our inside joke and he hasnt said anything. I find this strange and im wondering should i just not bother or just say hi.

 

The reason why im wondering is because i dont know wether he fancied me and felt conflicted because he is in a relationship? But he sometimes called me when she was around.

 

What you guys think ?

[schlumpy]

You are setting me up here. I think he was a bit miffed that the excitement he felt while talking to you wasn't returned because you wanted to go to sleep. Please tell me that you explained to him that you had just put in 16 hour day and your brain was shutting down regardless of the titillating conversation?

 

It seems that may be where your problem lies.

 

Did you feel any excitement?

[basil67]

I think that if he was a female friend, you'd assume she was busy and wouldn't be analysing it. As he's just a friend, then expect that his life gets busy and you will naturally be lower on his priority list.

[Lostsoul1]

Yeah but he doesnt have a full time job atm so iknow he cant be that busy.

 

There have been one or two conversations were i felt like he has been flirting but i havent replied with flirting except for when i said he is good looking.

 

He told me his relationship had issues but since they went on holiday recently it probably is resolved and maybe he was eageer to speak to me at the time when things were bad?

 

What do you guys think, should i still say say hi whats up or back off.

 

The fact that we are both in relationships makes me over think things abit.

 

I

[Lostsoul1]

You are setting me up here. I think he was a bit miffed that the excitement he felt while talking to you wasn't returned because you wanted to go to sleep. Please tell me that you explained to him that you had just put in 16 hour day and your brain was shutting down regardless of the titillating conversation?

 

It seems that may be where your problem lies.

 

Did you feel any excitement?

 

 

You mean excitement when he messaged me that night or ij general?

 

Its strange but i do feel excited when he messages me and shows interesst in my life. Thats why this sudden silence surprises me atm.

But when we do talk on the phone i dont feel super excited. Maybe because his voice doesnt match his face lol. I dont expect anything sexual but i did enjoy the attention of feeling attractive. Currently my fiance doesnt make me feel good and we been fighting so much. So yeah i do feel silly to expect that friend to lift my spirits when we arent that close.

 

I just wonder what he wanted when he knew even if he wanted a fling it was almost impossible due to my busy life and far distance.

[basil67]

Lostsoul, I say this with the best of intentions: Concentrate on your fiance. Either fix it or end it. But this emotional affair you're getting into is just foolishness.