Threesome

[Eliza]

I was really proud of myself last night. A threesome was indicated on a TV program and I asked my boyfriend if he'd ever had one. He said once, with a mate of his and a woman when he was 20 (he's 43 now).

 

I asked if he enjoyed it and he said yes.... (so far so good, I'm not jealous, it was a long time ago)... I said that was interesting to hear as most males I had dated had a threesome with 2 other females and.....(I was going to say they didn't like it that much as the women gave each other more attention!!)....and he cut me off saying with bright eyes "I would absolutely love that - that would be great!!".

 

My heart jumped out my throat and I was so offended! And he can't understand why! He said it will never happen so get over it. It doesn't matter how I put it, he can't see why it offended me. I always turn things around and I would never say I would love to have sex with two other men in front of him as to me, that undermines our sex life now, which is perfect.

 

I know I'm over-reacting, but I thought his overzealous response was a bit hurtful. What do you think?

[JS17]

Nobody's feelings are "wrong" but you're overreacting. I think I'd die of shock if I ever heard a man say that he ISN'T interested in a threesome. It's fantasy. Women seem to have a hard time grasping the concept of fantasy that's why so many women are upset over their men watching porn. Fantasy, not reality. It doesn't mean he'll do it and it doesn't mean that he wants you any less.

[RecordProducer]

You are thinking that he wants to sleep with another woman too. That's what bothers you. It would bother me too, but just get over it. Concentrate on the question of fidelity.

 

You might ask him if he has a desire to try it with you and another woman, if he would want to sleep with her, if he would do it even though you're not okay with it, and similar questions.

[SamandBran]

My take on this is do not open the can of worms if you're not ready for it. I am pretty sure there are a lot of things that my husbands feels and says but doesn't tell me.

 

It could hurt me if I knew that he would like to have another woman in our bed but I would turn it around and let him know that it would be great to include another man. But, this is only my 'fantasy'...lol. Yea, right.

 

People tend to forget that women can be and most are just as sexual if not more so than men. I love sex and used to initiate it more than my hubby (read other posts).

 

You may be hurt but if you are married to a great man and let him know that it would be great to add another man too, he'll get over himself.

 

Most men don't respond to weakness...only pain. They have to feel the pain before they give a d*mn. Sad but true.

 

You'll be ok, sweetie. Good luck and try to remember not to bring up questions that you don't want to hear the answer to unless you are prepared to handle yourself.

[ReluctantRomeo]

I think I'd die of shock if I ever heard a man say that he ISN'T interested in a threesome.

 

Prepare yourself JS...

 

I'm not interested in a threesome. Really. I would find it way too weird.

[ReluctantRomeo]

Most men don't respond to weakness...only pain. They have to feel the pain before they give a d*mn. Sad but true.

 

Hmmm. I don't agree. And I wouldn't want to be your guy

 

 

try to remember not to bring up questions that you don't want to hear the answer to

 

Now that's gotta be good advice.

[tinktronik]

Alright I asked the man in my life, directly corrolating to this post.Does he have an interest in a threesome. He said define ANY interest. I said any .He said yes he has "any" intrest.

So we made it into a pie chart .He CLAIMS 2% interest in a threesome (with a smirk) The full pie chart beng 100% of our relationship .He claimed 1% interest in having sex w/ another woman.But that canceles out b/c the interest in a threesome is greater, so it would make more sense.So I suppose that brings any interest up to 3% . When asked about 2 females ,that was his interest ,but when asked about 2 males he became oh so slightly avoidant and said only if I asked.lolololololololololololorotflmao. So yep , I think this is normal response stuff.pretty funny.

[Bryanp]

I think your boyfriend thought you were fishing and asking him if it was O.K. with him that you would have a threesome. I think you are way overreacting.

[IrishCarBomb]

"Have you ever had a threesome?" = "I'm interested in a threesome"

 

"Did you like it?" = "I hope you liked the threesome because I want to do it"

 

Of course... you have to take the tone of each into account. But this sounds like what you were hinting at.

[barfool]

I don't really agree with IrishCarBomb. Obviously you are not interested.

 

In a relationship a long time ago I used to ask the guy "do you think so & so is pretty" etc. and would then be upset if he said yes. I suppose I did this because I somehow wanted to be the only woman on the planet he would be attracted to or want to have sex with.

 

From my experience, no matter how much you love each other, the man will still be attracted to other women and fantasize about having sex with them. Women tend to associate sex with emotions much more than men do.

 

I think this is just something you are going to have to get used to. People will always have fantasies, sometimes not involving their SO, and you should respect that. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love and respect you.

 

This doesn't mean that you have to like his fantasy or be involved with it, but just understand that it is natural.